posted
My daughter has bipolar disorder and is on Geodon, which helps her a whole whole lot -- until she decides we are evil for making her take it and she palms it and then spirals back to the worst of bipolar.
I'm not sure what my point is here. Maybe it's that, yeah, you have to listen to yourself, but when you have a mental illness, sometimes yourself is telling you very bad things. My girl is 15, so for a few more years, we can tell her lovingly, sweetie, we're not your enemy, we love you so much, and then we wait for the medicine to bring her back to us. And then she is grateful. But not while the disease is winning.
I hope that the Geodon keeps working and doesn't give her bad side effects. It has been a miracle drug for us.
I hate bipolar disorder. I hate it so much.
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
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posted
How long has she been taking it? And if you don't mind my asking, what's her dose? I have a sneaking suspicion that I was on aon unusually high dose, but I'm not sure. Just wondering.
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She went up to 80mg last week. She has been on it for a number of months now. It's literally been a lifesaver.
I have been doing a lot of research. I know that it's likely we'll have to be playing this which-drug-is-the-right-one for years to come. It doesn't keep her awake at all, but it does give her what she calls an urge to move, which bugs her. It only lasts a few days whenever the dose increases, thank goodness.
Her doc told me that at her age/size (normal teenager size) she could go to as high as 120 mg, but we are going to try to keep it in the 60 to 80 range for the midterm.
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
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posted
I was on 180mg. It didn't keep me awake when I was on it; it put me to sleep. Completely knocked me out. Doctor had me taking it in the mornings at first, and I would fall asleep an hour later and was perfectly capable of sleeping until the next morning, when it was time for the next dose. But when I DIDN'T take it, I couldn't sleep. But only if I didn't take it. Which is what scared me so much about it. The "urge to move" side effect is pretty common of drugs within that class, although I think it's considered uncommon for Geodon. But I had that problem as well, at times.
's hard to find the right medication, though. You're lucky to have found one without really bad side effects (I gather) pretty quickly. I had to play musical chairs. But I also had doctors who put me on multiple medications at the same time, which sometimes made it hard to figure out which one was causing what side effect. Does your daughter have a reaction to lithium? I know that's like the "staple" medication for bipolar disorder. I'm not bipolar, but I was on it...for a few days, until it gave me a rash on my chest.
posted
No, they didn't start with lithium, oddly enough. I admit, I'm scared of lithium, but they didn't suggest it. I get the feeling that these days they are moving towards starting with geodon or abilify instead. Her doctor is really really cautious -- one at a time, one dose change at a time. Very conservative. She says she can't help us figure out benefits and side effects if she is changing stuff too fast . I ALWAYS leave her office feeling more confident. I think she is magical or something.
180 sounds like a lot, for sure.
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
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posted
Rumor has it there's a stigma attached to Lithium (and it's derivitives) from the 'olde days'. Sometimes it works, though. (it is, i think, one of the only naturally occuring medications for <insert current term here>...)
Thyroid, Liver and Kidney function should get tested about every three months if you're on it - but it's more a precaution than anything.
It's a salt so anyone taking it should drink enough water and also watch their salt intake from other sources...
Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
I used to have to have monthly liver function tests, when I was taking....Lord, I think Depakote. But as a result, I'm somewhat less nervous around needles (I used to hide behind furniture to avoid them), and I didn't have to go to school until noon the day of the test!
posted
I can't get into it right now....I'm too busy crying hysterically. I just don't know if I can be with him anymore. I've told him that I WANT to be with him, but I want him to give me a reason to stay. And I've even told him what to DO to give me a reason to stay. And he hasn't even called me this morning like he promised.
He swears up and down that he loves me and wants to be with me, but then why can't he just do this one, simple thing?
posted
So, we discussed my MBA schedule today. It's possible for me to finish in a year, but I might take a little more time. Also, they won't let me take more than 12 hours in a semester.
I have to decide soon if I want to take a class on business environment in South America. Like, by Monday. The class only meets four times during the semester, but then for a week during spring break, we go down to Brazil and Argentina and talk to companies there. And we don't need to be fluent in Protuguese or Spanish.
I'm also going to be working for twenty hours a week at a graduate assistantship in the small business development center, which should be awesome. It'll be paid...not a lot ($9.50/hour), but it'll be so much fun and a lot of good experience, plus I'll probably intern either over the summer or next fall.
The people all seemed really nice and excited to have me there. Tomorrow there's a barbeque in the evening, but I don't know if I'll be able to go because of the pain in my face (I found it a little difficult to hold a coherent conversation today because of the percocet, but I told them about it). Saturday is orientation.
The only bad part was one professor that kind of hurt my feelings, saying that there were 2 kinds of MBA students, and the ones who go on to the MBA right out of undergrad were usually the ones who didn't want to do any work and who really just wanted to keep partying on their parents' dime. Of course, he prefaced this with an, "Of course, I don't know you, but..." I didn't try to argue with him, but I did mention that I'd gone to school on the Jesuits' dime with my full academic scholarship, not my parents'. Oh, well. Other than that comment, he seemed like a nice man.
And I got to buy school supplies today, which always makes me happy. All the pretty, clean notebooks, and a new backpack to organize (with a laptop pocket)...I'm really excited. Worried, but excited.
posted
Most of the MBAs I knew at school were the party type, so I can understand where the idea comes from. You seem like the study your butt off type, so I think he'll learn that there are exceptions Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
I have come to a somewhat disturbing realization this weekend, during the course of the fiasco of my "minor" surgery.
Lortab makes me more succeptible to delusions.
Not all the time so much. It just seems to lower the reality threshold. Like, last night I had this terrible religion-related dream which involved very, very vivid sounds of demon screetches clawing at me, evil churches trying to bring people to the devil, and me having DELIBERATE thoughts the whole time, trying to out-think my racing, obsessive-compulsive mind. When I thought I'd managed to drown it out with a hymn, I was suddenly lifted off the ground and started to soar, and I felt this tingling in my legs, and then all of a sudden I just started to drop back down to the ground in front of the good church (there was an evil church and a good church), and then I woke up. And my mind wouldn't stop racing. Not in a normal nightmare kind of way. In a way where I was trying really, really hard to stop the Thoughts that throw me into terrible, horrible spirals. And my legs were still tingling. And for a little bit, I was convinced that my boyfriend was going to say something awful or that he was evil or something.
I had this one dream about a year ago, that I was lying in bed in my dorm room, exactly in the same way I was sleeping, and all of a sudden there was this weird, bald, naked man next to me, and he started telling me that no one would ever take his place, and that I had to listen to him, and he like put his hand on my back, and wherever he touched, pain shot through my body. And when I woke up, it took me a second to realize that it was a dream...because everything looked kind of the same. And my back had cramps where he had touched me in the dream.
posted
Don't tell that story at church. I had friends growing up who would have tried to arrange a couple of church members come to your house and pray those demons out of you. Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
They already did that once! When I was fourteen...I talked about that on the first page, I think. And they told me to set things on fire, too, if I thought there were demons in them.
I guess the praying didn't work, since I didn't wanna commit arson for the Lord.
posted
This month has been absolutely terrible for me.
Okay, the wisdom teeth spectacular. That's one thing. That was stressful and worrysome and upsetting enough.
Let's also throw in me having to ditch every friend I have in this city aside from my boyfriend. Because aside from some events that went on before the surgery, when I needed to go to the hospital last Sunday, I called everyone I could think of who might be free and left messages. Tearful messages because I was in so much pain, pleading for someone to give me a ride so I could get some medical help.
To date, not one person has even called back to see if I'm alive. No one even bothered to call and make up an excuse.
Since to me, this proves that my "friends" literally do not care if I live or die, I will no longer speak to these individuals. If said individuals ever do try to speak to me again, I'll probably tell them exactly how I feel, but I won't contact them to do so because I think doing that would give them the impression that I could somehow become friends with them again, and I can't.
So no friends. Horrible face infection. Oh, let's throw in some hating. A prime example is that thread fiasco which just had to occur the day before my surgery. Things like that have been happening forever, but they've gotten worse and worse. I've reached a breaking point.
I think it's absolutely sick and disgusting that in our culture, we can't be happy or thankful for what we have. We always have to apologize. If you think you look good and admit it, you're conceited. You have to always talk about how you don't think you're that pretty. If you have nice things, for some reason you just can't be happy and thankful for them. No, no. You have to constantly apologize to people who don't have the same things, as if you took something from them. I'm just sick of feeling like I can't just be happy. That's all I want. I want to be able to be happy with who I am, and that's not acceptable for me to do, socially. And I just can't handle that anymore. Social life is supposed to get better after middle school. At some point, people are supposed to grow up. They never do. Ever. It's always the same catty bullshit. If you see someone who has something you like, tear them down. Screw that. I think I have a nice body, and I think I should be able to admit that. I have really nice obliques which give me a really defined waist, which gives me a curvy figure even though I'm thin. I like having a flat stomach. I like having long legs. I'm sick of feeling like I'm not even allowed to admit that to MYSELF, much less anyone else. I'm sick of feeling like I have to prove myself as a good person, more than anyone else, just because I've been really lucky. And then I get told that I'm spoiled and an ingrate. Well gee, maybe it looks that way because whenever I try to be happy with or grateful for what I have, I'm just cut down again. Even though that's all I want.
For the past month, I've been crying at random intervals. I'm afraid to even go to work right now because I'm afraid I'll burst into tears in public. I'm miserable, and it's because I can't seem to meet anyone who lives here, besides my boyfriend, who doesn't pick on me or who isn't mean to me.
I posted in that money thread about that girl who brags about how thrifty she is. We went to the grocery store yesterday, and she pretty much made me justify every single one of my food purchases. FOOD PURCHASES. It's not her freaking money. I don't need to explain what I do with MY things. And this coming from a girl who, at 18, is $19,000 in debt, not counting student loans, because she thinks it's good to buy things on one of her ten major credit cards. She thinks it's bad to buy things on debit. The only time I ever told her anything about money was when she asked about my credit limit. And then she spazzed about how it was SO LOW, and all of her credit cards have at least a thousand dollar limit, and I need to ask for more credit. How can you be a thrifty person with money you don't even HAVE? How is that USEFUL? Where do you get off giving me ANY advice about when or where or how I spend MY MONEY THAT IS ACTUALLY IN THE BANK?
I have a very long story about that grocery trip which, to me, illustrates the height of money-related tackiness, but I'm already an hour late for work. So that will have to wait.
I guess the general gist of this post is: I'm really depressed and lonely, and I'm sick of feeling like people hate me. Oh yeah, and if you jump on me for this post, I'll delete the damn thread like I did the other one. So there is your warning, in case you want to tell me what a spoiled brat I am for just wanting to avoid being treated like shit by people who've never met me and really don't know jack about what kind of person I am in real life. That is my disclaimer because this whole thread is supposed to be helping me to deal with my emotional/mental problems, and if I start getting flak, it's going to make me feel even lower than I already do. Thanks for making me feel like I even had to PUT this at the end of such a post.
quote: To date, not one person has even called back to see if I'm alive. No one even bothered to call and make up an excuse.
I'm so sorry, that really sucks.
On the upside, you now know the caliber of friends you have and can look elsewhere.
quote: It's always the same catty bullshit.
From certain people, yes. The trick is to find and cultivate the not-plastic people as your friends.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
*hug* You've really been through a lot this month. I'm sorry that you've been left feeling lonely and depressed and hated.
It's upsetting that our culture doesn't encourage us to be happy and thankful for who and what we are and to, in turn, rejoice with people who are happy and thankful for who and what they are.
I hope you can find people to rejoice with you rather than tear you down. They are hard to find, I know, but they are out there. Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
Wow, that is a lot for anybody to go through in a month, I am sorry you went through it. I am sorry your friends were not the friends you thought they were, I have several friends who turned out the same way. I hope you make some real friends, I don't know any good places to suggest meeting them execpt maybe at a church.
I hope things turn around for you. Your in my prayers.
Posts: 503 | Registered: May 2005
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pH, I hope you find some peace and happiness. I know things have been really hard for [and on] you for a long while.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Some people are pretty messed up, and it's not cool. Nobody should be expected to put up with that much BS.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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Good things did happen today though. Like, I've been really nervous about the whole MBA thing because I really am a lot younger than everyone else. And then I started working with small business development, and...I had this idea to improve, but I thought it was so obvious that they would think it was stupid for to suggest it, or they'd think that...I don't know, I shouldn't be saying anything since I just started.
See, we take all these surveys, but then all we would ever have anyone do is make a count of how many answers for each group came in for each option of the survey, and then we'd just put it in a folder. And I was thinking, we have all this data...why aren't we using it for anything? I mean, I don't know if anyone looks at them again, and they're not in a format that we can really manipulate them to get any real cool info from the data. You know? But then I thought...well, I'm new, and everyone is like ten years older than me, and they probably know what they're doing, and this is such an obvious idea that it's probably stupid.
But today I met one of the lead consultant type guys, and he was just such a nice, friendly man. The other consultant I met, I felt like I had to be so careful about anything I said, like he was always judging and evaluating me about whether or not I was a moron, or something. And this man was just really nice, and he talked about his son, who is I think around my age, and I asked him, "What do we use these for? Why don't we put them into something like SPSS? I mean we have this information, and it's like it's just taking up space, and we could really USE it for something."
It turns out he was a math minor, and so we started talking about the uses of statistics, and he was actually impressed that I'd taken so much stats and took an AP class in high school, and he didn't make me feel like I had to always be on guard to speak in a really, really professional way...like I could just say, "Well, I think this would be a good idea to do." And apparently, I was the first person to say anything about it. And he really liked the idea and was interested in it, and we talked about it for like an hour.
That made me feel really good, like maybe I really am competent. Because I feel like...you know, I guess I seem really young. I mean, I'm twenty-one. So I AM young. But I'm used to people thinking that I'm way older, like when I was seventeen I would discuss things with people, and they'd ask me where I got my degree and later tell me that they thought I was twenty-five or something.
And now I'm finally, actually on a level where...I actually feel like I'm doing things that are interesting and that are actually good to put mental effort into. I actually feel like I'm going to LEARN things for the first time in my life. And that's a really intimidating feeling when you graduated from college early with honors, and you've never actually felt like...wow, I'm in a room with people who are all really smart and know what they're talking about and everything. It's scary.
Anyways. That made me feel really good, and then I ran into a girl with whom I used to be pretty good friends freshman year, except that we drifted apart because her boyfriend was a perv. And we hadn't even really spoken in two years. And I just ran into her in the quad, and we talked for a really long time. It was nice.
Gah, I just wish I didn't still come home and just randomly cry at things.
I'm scared. 'cause you know, being depressed can just last and last. I'm scared it's going to affect my relationship. I've already been freaking out at him for things that...I don't need to be freaking out about. It scared me to realize how long we've been together, just because it's way longer than I've been with anyone else, and we're way closer than I've been with anyone...and that's kind of intimidating too. I mean, I totally want to be with him. It's just scary. I asked him I think yesterday if he's ever been really mad with me, and he said no. Which leads me to believe that maybe he really is a saint because I'm a huge handful, and I know that. And knowing now that I'm really depressed is scary because I'm enough of a handful when I'm relatively okay, depressedness-wise. And if being depressed lasts for months, I feel like he's going to lose patience with me randomly crying and taking things personally and bursting into tears because when I tried to give the old lady at Burger King the little cream packet she was looking for, she chucked it back across the counter. Except I managed to not cry until I got into the car, and that was good because otherwise it would have been even worse.
It's like, she's probably the kind of woman who goes on about how young people are horrible and rude with their rap music and their skateboards. And here I just try to hand her the cream she's spazzing about finding...and she throws it? Apparently I give off bad vibes even to old people who don't know me.
quote:How can you be a thrifty person with money you don't even HAVE?
*wipes eyes* This is the funniest thing I've read today.
I agree with Storm Saxon that you're probably friends with the wrong people. I hope you find some better ones soon. *hug*
Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
Saying that I'm just friends with the wrong people and should find new ones is easy. Except that I've been trying to meet good people since I was in middle school, and so far, it ain't happening. And I'm also not the kind of person to have a friendship checklist or anything...I don't even go looking for friends. I just meet people. Sometimes we become friends, and sometimes we don't. But considering the sheer volume of people I've met, I really think the world is just seriously lacking in people who aren't selfish and mean.
I mean, not everyone is mean right from the get-go. Some of them, like one of the "friends" who no longer cares if I live or die, will be "friends" for years. We'll go out occasionally and do things, and I'll give them rides to work, they'll offer gas money and I'll refuse, and they seem like generally good people.
Until I need something. Which means that's not really something that I can know...until I need something. I mean, this girl came to help me get some cute summer dresses for my vacation. She didn't want to buy anything; she just wanted to hang out and help me find some cute clothes.
But she didn't want to spend an hour making sure I got to the doctor.
I don't think I go around attracting people that hate me. I just think people, in general, hate me. Because seriously, why would I go become friends with someone if I somehow knew he/she was going to end up screwing me over? I wouldn't do that. I'm not THAT masochistic.
Anyways. I think just saying that I have bad friends and need to find new ones is a cop-out. 'cause I've been doing that. Over and over again. And I'm at the point right now that I feel like I either have to choose to be confident in myself and lonely, or downplay myself and have stupid friends. And on top of that, I don't know if it's worth the effort to befriend anyone else. Nine years of the same crap is really discouraging.
Had really bad racing thoughts last night. I had to take three ativan and have a sip of lortab before I could sleep. It was a really good sleep, and I'm feeling less teary-eyed this morning, but I'm worried that the thought-racing is just going to get worse. And then there's the fact that I'm still really, really tired. I hate being depressed. It's so stupid.
posted
I didn't mean that in a snappy way. I'm sorry; I've been snapping at everyone.
I just don't think it's likely that I've been choosing bad friends for years and years, and that that's the real problem.
Which is what frustrates me, I think. I feel like the problem is sort of imbedded in our culture, in the way that certain people are supposed to play down advantages or talents or gifts. And that's what really depresses me. Like, I think I'm a cool person and attractive and stuff, but I feel like in the eyes of the vague, general "American culture," the fact that I think that means I'm bad. And it just seems so...I don't know. Futile.
posted
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm glad you were able to have a good experience at work. It's a great feeling knowing that you have something special to contribute. (And you do!)
Anyway, I really wanted to post to say that I sometimes don't check my voicemail--for a long time. I especially was guilty of this when I was getting creditors leaving messages all the time. I couldn't take it emotionally. So I missed some calls sometimes. I know it's a longshot...but if one of your friends calls you again, and gives you that reason for not calling and is genuinely sorry, you'll know that it's possible... because some random girl on hatrack was the same way.
And it is hard to make friends. I've lived in this area for 5 years and I have no friends my own age. And the older friends I have I haven't been able to visit with in a long time. So I can empathize.
posted
I want to make friends with some of my classmates...but they're all older, and I think they think of me in more of a kid sister kind of way.
One of the other grad assistants seems nice, but he's not around much. The office boy (undergrads usually do the filing work, answer phones, etc.) is an okay guy, but not really someone I want to hang out with. But okay to share an office with and chat, you know?
I think one of my biggest obstacles lately with making friends is that I don't like to be friends with a group of people. I like to be friends with individuals. I feel like there's too much crap that goes on in a group, too much backstabbing and infighting, and I'm not really into that. I mean, I don't mind if my friends and I all hang out as a group. But I don't want to be in one of those "friends groups." If that makes sense. So when I befriend someone who is in a group of friends, I sometimes feel left out because they'll forget to ask me if I want to tag along on Friday night, or all they ever talk about is the escapades of their group of friends. And that makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like I'm the friend no one remembers they have until they really need something.
I do think that whether you're doing something wrong or using an inadequate standard is a fair question to raise when you do something with same method (or lack of method) for years and get the same results. Of course, this is coming from a girl who'd rather have no friends than so-so friends, and I know not everyone has to be like me. Basically I guess my comment was meant to reflect that if I were in your situation, I'd be implementing some (different) friendship standards. I do believe that there really are people out there who will like you for you and not resent you for what you have.
Posts: 2762 | Registered: Sep 1999
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quote:Originally posted by pH: I want to make friends with some of my classmates...but they're all older, and I think they think of me in more of a kid sister kind of way.
So what? I've had (still do!) some wonderful friendships that started this way.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I have friends that are decades younger, and older, than me. My brother is the same way. It's all part of gaming culture, I think, where you meet people from all walks of life.
All this is to say that just because someone is older doesn't mean they can't be your friend.
Also, it's been said that there are different kinds of friends. There are dancing friends, talking friends, drinking friends, and friends that help you bury the body. So, to kind of hedge what I said before, just because you now know that people you thought were your friends aren't the best kind of people, this doesn't mean you can't still enjoy their company for what they have to give while you meet more quality people.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
I guess what bothers me a lot is the idea that if someone is having social issues, the problem is really in them. Because I don't think I have a problem, and I don't think it's my fault that people are assholes and like to be mean to me. I mean, even Hatrack is full of assholes who like to be mean to me, so it can't be that I just only go out of my way to befriend people who are going to be mean to me.
I think it's our culture that's screwed up more than me. But that's what makes this situation feel so hopeless.
I tried to call my therapist yesterday when I was crying and having another breakdown. I told the receptionist it was really important for me to talk to her. And then I HEARD said therapist in the background telling her receptionist to say that she wasn't available and for me to call back at four.
I have an appointment with her at three. I'm going to pay the balance on my bill and tell her she's fired. She doesn't know why I called yesterday, and I NEVER call there and say "I really, really need to speak to my therapist." This same therapist has interrupted sessions with me because her cell rang. And she doesn't know why I called! Maybe I was sitting on the couch with a gun to my head! I wasn't, but that doesn't make her actions any more irresponsible.
Now I need a new therapist. Except whenever I try to call people's offices, just random doctors out of the phone book, I get scared that the receptionists are being mean to me, and I say I have the wrong number and hang up. Then I cry.
posted
Ugh, receptionists can be way too full of themselves. I would much rather deal with doctor or whoever I am trying to get an appointment with.
Posts: 503 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Okay, look, I was feeling like this about 2 weeks ago, totally overwhelmed with stress and angry at the world, crying randomly, just miserable. I don't know what would help you, and I don't want to offer advice when I don't know you very well, but I hope that you find whatever it is that's going to make you feel better. For me it was rediscovering faith in the religion I grew up with as a kid and talking to the church's version of a therapist, that was the kick in the pants I needed to remember to see the world in a more positive light... but obviously that's not for everyone.
It does sound like you're in a very very negative place right now, and whatever you can do to shift that paradigm would be a great thing, be it therapy or religion or skydiving or hopping in the car and taking a long road trip.... whatever.
We care about you, pH, and want you to be happy. And I bet we're not the only ones. Posts: 1681 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
So I had an appointment with the therapist today. And I told her that I was really upset that she had pretty much ignored me, blah blah.
She decided, and this is not me inferring anything, this is what she said, to tell me...after she's spent all the time acting supportive....that I'm a terrible person, I'm rude to everyone, I'm abusive to my boyfriend, and people don't like me because I'm a spoiled brat, and so on and so forth. She called me NAMES. Oh, and she based the claim that I'm abusive to my boyfriend based on a phone conversation of which she overheard MY side and didn't know what the conversation was about, and based on the hour we spent with her. Apparently I was abusive and a psycho controlling bitch to him then. I don't remember that. I remember us sitting there holding hands, and me crying a little bit and saying, "Such and such upsets me," and us working it out. I don't remember calling him names. I don't remember doing ANYTHING abusive, and he doesn't think he's being abused, AND he's a very confident person and wouldn't stand for it if I was treating him badly. I love him, and I do my best to be the best girlfriend I can. The point is. She was horrible to me and called me names and pretty much stabbed me in the back. Which is, aside from being a horrible thing to do, unprofessional.
I think I deserve to file a complaint about that. Not to SUE her. To file a complaint with whomever licenses her to practice in this state. I know they probably won't DO anything about it, but I want to file one anyway.
posted
I don't think trying to get her in trouble is going to prove she was wrong for calling you spoiled.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
Well good. It's good to know that if someone calls me spoiled, I can't file a complaint about her utterly unprofessional behavior.
This is the same shit I was talking about happening on Hatrack. You call me a spoiled brat, and if I defend myself, apparently I AM a spoiled brat.
Apparently, "spoiled" is the one insult no one can ever defend themselves against. If you call someone spoiled, they are not allowed to say or do anything about it, including being upset about it, or else they are, indeed, spoiled.
posted
pH, I don't know if the therapists behavior was reasonable or not. I wasn't there.
However, I would strongly recommend that you wait to make a decision about whether to file a complaint until you are no longer this upset. Perhaps you need to find a different therapist to get to that place; maybe a religious counselor (as Zeugma alluded to) might be better.
But I think you are much better off waiting until you are calm and fully rational (and given the upsetting things that have been happening to you lately, it makes perfect sense that you would not be either of those things at the moment) before making that decision -- EVEN IF you do decide to file the report. Which is also less likely to be dismissed if it sounds calm, neh?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I fired her. I decided a month ago that I didn't think she was the therapist for me, and this was the last straw.
I'm so freaking upset that all anyone can say is oh, calm down.
Great.
My therapist, who pretended she was supportive of me, just insulted me and stabbed me in the back. I don't think it's reasonable to be openly insulting of your clients for the sole purpose of making them feel bad, which is what she was clearly doing by many of the things that she said.
For crying out loud. Good. Now my therapist hates me too. Further proof that the entire world does not want me to be here.
I told my shrink about it. He WORKS with her, and he thought she was out of line and had no idea why she would ever say something like that.
posted
If it were true (I put the "if" there), how do you think the therapist should handle it? Is it NEVER true? Are therapists NEVER allowed to tell their clients something that may be hard to hear? Do you think a theraptist should be reprimanded every time they tell a client something the client didn't want to hear?
These are serious questions - I have no idea how therapists should handle it. I'd hate to be in that position, though.
This sounds like lese majesty - outrage that someone would dare say something like that to you and you want to make sure they'll regret it. Maybe that's not the productive thing to take away from that session.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:Originally posted by katharina: If it were true (I put the "if" there), how do you think the therapist should handle it? Is it NEVER true? Are therapists NEVER allowed to tell their clients something that may be hard to hear? Do you think a theraptist should be reprimanded every time they tell a client something the client didn't want to hear?
This sounds like lese majesty - outrage that someone would dare say something like that to you and you want to make sure they'll regret it. Maybe that's not the productive thing to take away from that session.
Kat, if I called you a bitch, you'd be pissed.
But apparently you think I'm a spoiled brat as well, since I'm just outraged that someone would DARE say anything like that to me. Right? No. The point is that she's tried to be so supportive all along....and now, when I'm telling her that I don't want to see her anymore, she suddenly decides to tell me all these things I don't want to hear "for my own good?" I don't think so.
This is outrage at betrayal. I can't believe any of you would assume anything else. I think it's good for therapists to tell their clients things. But not in an insulting way. And not all at once, out of the blue, conveniently when the client is in the process of firing you. And not when you didn't even let the client finish a sentence because you kept interrupting and attacking.
posted
I think being called NAMES is a betrayal. Why don't you read what I just wrote? This isn't about her giving me some constructive criticism. This is about her trying to tear me down.
posted
Do you think I've called you names? Have I torn you down?
I promise I'm not.
I know this anger. I still get it, and I think the object of it occasionially richly deserves it. I also think she's out of your life and your anger and outrage is hurting you more than anything you can do to her.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
When I did some therapy about a year ago, my mother got a list of names from our insurance with little descriptions of each person's style. Of the two most highly recommended, one was a no-nonsense kind of person while the other was known for being gentler and more personal. I think the first type works for some people and not for others. Given my paranoia at the time, I went for the latter therapist and she helped me alot. When I got to point later in our sessions when I needed to be interrupted or knocked down a peg, she did so at the perfect moments.
I hope, if you haven't already, found a better therapist who's willing to take the time to think over what behavior on his/her part will work best for you.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
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But you aren't paying any attention to what I'm saying.
So if you aren't going to be helpful, please leave my thread. I don't need any more criticism at this point. I need support. I need an ally. I don't need someone telling me oh, well, you must have done something to make your therapist call you names. Oh, it's unreasonable to file a complaint, that makes you look spoiled.
posted
I'm trying to help. I think it would suck to get called spoiled, and it hurts when someone who has the power to hurt is not careful about how that power is wielded.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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