posted
Have you ever gone and thrown eggs into a dumpster and watched them splat? Breaking them is very satisfying, and it really vents rage non-destructively.
AJ (edit: I know this sounds far out there but a friend told me that she'd done it and I was so angry once that I tried it... and it is very cathartic...)
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote:your anger and outrage is hurting you more than anything you can do to her.
I'm not angry angry. I'm hurt angry. How am I supposed to talk to another therapist? Apparently, therapists store up everything you tell them and use it to paint the worst possible picture of you. Like me forgetting appointments. Instead of taking that as a possible indicator of depression, she assumed automatically that it meant that I was irresponsible and show up late for everything all the time and am bad with time management. It was when she said that, a month or more ago, that I decided that I didn't want to see her anymore.
But it's like...she took every single thing about me and decided it meant the worst thing possible. Instead of being like okay, maybe she's depressed, maybe she needs help.
posted
AJ, it's funny that you say that...when I was in high school, my mom would buy me cheap dishware from the thrift store so that I could smash it.
...I think I have a carton of almost expired eggs...but where can I throw them that I won't make a mess for others? Hmmmmm....
posted
I always thought someone could make a fortune by opening a store of random things (at an elevated cost) with a backroom where you could safely destroy whatever you bought. I would have coughed up some bucks for a bat and permission to smash things.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Therapists are human too and are as likely to need therapy themselves as anyone else. Heck, maybe more. You are in New Orleans and said therapist probably has a lot of other stressors in their life even as your disruption last year didn't help your life either.
I'm *not* saying what she did was right. I'm saying it was human. Should she not be a therapist, quite possibly. A lot of therapists aren't actually *good* therapists because they can't dissociate their own issues from their clients.
But there are good therapists out there too. It doesn't sound like the relationship and trust level had progressed to the point where she could have said something that made you angry, and after you got over the anger you'd consider what she'd said.
I got very angry at my therapist once. Really steamed. But she'd done it on purpose, to make me take a better look at myself. Even though I was steamed, I did go back to my next session because I figured I had to give her a chance, and I wanted to prove her wrong. But we'd been in a therapy relationship for almost a year at that point. So I went back.
And what she'd done was the thing I needed at the time. Even the anger at her helped me feel things that I'd been blocking off in my past.
I *don't* think that is what this person did to you. But there are good ones out there, so don't give up. Talk to the doc you do trust and ask him what you should do...
posted
I don't know. I just feel like...I've been so upset lately for people doing EXACTLY what she did.
My parents ended up calling my shrink because they were afraid I was going to hurt myself, and he called me again, and now I'm going to see him tomorrow.
I just wish he didn't work in the same office as she does.
quote:Originally posted by Shanna: I always thought someone could make a fortune by opening a store of random things (at an elevated cost) with a backroom where you could safely destroy whatever you bought. I would have coughed up some bucks for a bat and permission to smash things.
I always loved the smashing of cheap glasses at Callahan's Crosstime Saloon.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Dumpsters.... you stand up on them perched, and throw eggs at various and sundry things, a partially full dumpster is better so you have lots of stuff to aim at. The precarious balance and dumpstery smell adds to the entire experience.
Walmart is good for getting cheap dinner sets though if you really need a lot of ammo. They have these totally useless too tiny coffee mugs, that we smashed in the dumpster when we moved cause they would have been annoying to pack and take along and nobody else would want them either.
posted
Of course an un-reccommended variety of destruction is tearing up a bathroom while having PMS without consulting your significant other even if the hidous vanity and icky panelling really did need to go.
You've seen Tomb Raider right? I love when the UPS guy walks in while they are sweeping up the debris and Angelina Jolie goes "I had such a frightful headache last night" or something like that...
posted
Some people like to squish things, though squishing eggs til they crack sound kind of icky to me. I also reccommend a blend of cornstarch and water... you can punch it and it's hard and squish it and it oozes and it's more sanitary than most other options...
quote:Originally posted by BannaOj: You've seen Tomb Raider right? I love when the UPS guy walks in while they are sweeping up the debris and Angelina Jolie goes "I had such a frightful headache last night" or something like that...
AJ
I think she said, "I just woke up and hated EVERYTHING."
posted
If you're throwing glassware or ceramics, it's a good idea to wear a pair of goggles. Take it from someone who is lucky to have two intact eyes.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Shredding the heck out of a big roll of paper towels is surprising difficult AND therapeutic. Digging in fingers and flinging and twisting and tearing. Very lovely. Cheap, too.
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Shanna: I always thought someone could make a fortune by opening a store of random things (at an elevated cost) with a backroom where you could safely destroy whatever you bought. I would have coughed up some bucks for a bat and permission to smash things.
Actually, if I remember correctly, in Japan there are restaurants that have areas set aside so people can throw dishware. (There sell the dishware) I always thought it would be a good business.
Posts: 503 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Pearce, honey, I'm just now getting to this thread. You do still have my e-mail and phone number, yes? Please feel free to use them if you want to talk.
Posts: 11187 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Gah. Cheapness obsessed girl is on the phone with a guy who offered us jobs...but she won't let me talk to him AND she won't tell him that I already HAVE a college degree and am about to be an MBA.
So apparently now he only wants to hire her. Even though she has no degree AND has a wonky class schedule and can't even work four-hour blocks, much less a whole day. Because she's talking shit.
posted
I saw the shrink. He tried to sit the therapist and me down. Before she came in, I told him that she was going to claim that she didn't say a lot of these things and was going to say that I was just "confused" because that's what people do when they know that sometimes reality gets weird for me.
And that's exactly what she did. I told her to leave because I found it offensive that she'd said that, and she sat there and kept talking. And then told me again all about how I just hear these things inside my head. To which I said, "No! Leave! Leave leave leave leave..." until she finally left.
He's putting me on a really low dose of seroquel to take at night to help me sleep. Also, he thinks I'm more terrified than depressed, and the seroquel should help the fear.
I have more to say, but I'm not sure how to word it.
posted
I have heard some good things about seroquel recently. Not that medicines will change other people's behavior, but certainly getting some sleep and feeling better physically will help strengthen your defenses, ya know?
Out here rooting for you...
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
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posted
pH, I'm so sorry these things are happening to you. You don't deserve this kind of treatment of these problems.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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posted
It's weird; I always find psychiatrists to be more understanding than therapists.
I think one of the things is that people who know that I have trouble with what's "real" on occasion will automatically assume that I'm paranoid or deluded...when in reality, the things that confuse me are more like...a few nights ago, when I had a nightmare, woke up, and for about thirty seconds was convinced that my boyfriend (who was trying to make me feel better) was an agent of the devil. Then I snapped out of it and was like, "What the hell am I thinking?!"
I don't get confused about what people actually say. In fact I'm very perceptive. Like, when I was in the looney bin, I actually wanted to go there for help as long as I was there, but I picked up the first night I was there that it wasn't really about getting help since it was a short-term facility. It was more about going to the groups and saying the right things and acting like you were okay so that they would let you go. Not about actually getting HELP. It was a jump-through-hoops game. Kind of a holding tank to hope that you'll not be suicidal by the end of the week so they can let you go in good conscience, and if you go back to whatever things you were doing before, at least they "tried."
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of TELLING my former psychiatrist that. And he decided that I was paranoid.
I wasn't, though. I was just perceptive.
You know, my abusive ex had me convinced that I never knew what was real. So whenever I confronted him about something he'd said or done, he would deny it and say that I was just confused. I fell for it SO many times, too. It's sad.
posted
Last night, for a little while, I was afraid of my television. I thought it was going to hurt me, and I didn't want to turn it off because it seemed eerier when it wasn't making noise.
posted
I've been away from this thread for the past few days, and am just catching up. I know that it is popular wisdom to take out aggression in a safe way by getting violent with inanimate things, but I have never seen this to be helpful for either me or other folk. For me, I've found that it just escalates aggressive feelings, and I have seen it make people with violent feelings to feel more violent and riled up. For me, I find that calming activities cause the aggression to recede into a size more easily handled. Rage has a way of escalating -- I've seen it first-hand -- and feeding it by sanctioning minor property damage can make it grow to cause some non-sanctioned property or personal damage.
Of course, not all folk are the same, and maybe your situation and experience is different than mine, but I'd ask you to be wary of such advice.
That said, I hope all turns out better for you.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Apparently, I didn't hang up on all the psychologists' offices I called last week.
Apparently, the one that I didn't hang up on just happened to be an OCD specialist, which I learned when she called me back today. She also used to work for my psychiatrist.
And her office is around the corner from his.
That is so weird. Anyways, I told her the situation, and she was very nice and talked to me for a while about herself and asked me questions about what I needed. So I decided to make an appointment for Monday. I hope this goes well. I've been dangerously spazzy for the past few days.
posted
Good luck with the new psychologist, pH! I've followed this thread but don't think I've posted on it.
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
I don't think I've posted here either, but I've been reading. This seems like a nice bit of serendipity - good luck! Posts: 952 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
WHY THE HELL CAN I NOT JUST HAVE A GOOD DAY?
I was happy today.
Things were going well. And the advanced finance professor was trying to work out a way for me to retake the waiver to get into his class. And I went to his class tonight, and I totally understood everything that was going on even though I've missed like five weeks.
And then I check my email tonight, and it turns out that the MBA director sent me an email this afternoon. And she says no, no one can help me get into the class, not even the professor or herself.
And now I'm upset again.
Dammit. I have so much stuff to do tonight. And now I can't focus on any of it.
posted
Is it a bad day if everything doesn't go perfectly? Not trying to be disagreeable, but that actually sounds like a pretty good day by my standards. If I expected every day to be perfect, I'd be disappointed a lot.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
Yes, it's a bad day if one large, catastrophic thing happens.
Not getting into this class means I can't possibly finish my MBA until next December, which will drive me up a wall if only because I'd like to have the option to graduate in one calendar year. It also means that I'm now terrified that I've pissed off the faculty/staff, even though it wasn't my idea to try to get back into the class.
Great things are happening for me at school, things which could be a great help to me in the future, but I'm completely terrified of them. I feel like no one is ever going to take me seriously. I spend the entire day feeling insecure about my ideas or my intelligence or whatever, and then when I get home I cry. And then I worry about people not really giving a crap about me, like my boyfriend.
And the Grudge 2 trailer came on tv and scared the crap out of me even though I've watched it a bunch of times. It felt more REAL this time. Now I'm scared.
posted
I have no idea! I was just kind of relaxing on the couch, pretty much the same as I have been every time I see that trailer, and for some reason this time I believed it more.
This is how I explained my reality issues to my boyfriend, and I think maybe it'll be useful here, too:
You know when you're a little kid, and you're afraid of the Boogeyman, or a monster under your bed, or vampires, or whatever it is? And you're honestly afraid of it? That's how it feels for me. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if that's how it feels for most people with this issue. It's not like I'm a raving lunatic...I just get scared of various Boogeymen from time to time.
posted
There's really no reason on earth for those damn Grudge style movies to exist. Those are just F-ing CREEPY!
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
So, some really, really bad things happened this weekend, but I'm in a good mood now, so it's time for GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE!
The OCD specialist was absolutely awesome. I like her a lot. It's funny though; her office has very low ceilings (at least, I think they're low...they're probably 10' or something), so when I went, I felt VERY VERY TALL. And I'm a foot taller than her, too. I'm seeing her again next Tuesday.
Also, the school decided to credit me for the scholarship money I didn't use. They're not going to flat-out write me a check, and they're not giving me the full amount of a semester of undergraduate tuition, but they're crediting my account the cost of this semester. A semester of grad school on the Jesuits' dollar! YAY!
Which means I might be able to afford some stuff now. Like central air and new tires and bodywork for my car.
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