posted
The thing is, I HAVE been trying to spell things out as clearly as I possibly can. But one big, big thing that we have issues with is that I expect that if someone says they're going to do something on X day, that they're going to do it at that time. I've done my best to arrange my schedule around his because mine is more flexible. But now I feel like he expects me to be completely flexible about everything. Like before we went on our trip, he got all upset that I said I wanted to meet his parents before we left. And we had decided before that he was going to move in this weekend, and like I said, he didn't even tell me that that wasn't going to happen until last night. So I asked him to pick a day next week that would be more convenient. He said, "Okay." I asked what day, and he said he couldn't give me a specific day because then it would be written in stone and I'd get upset if he didn't do it on that day.
I fail to see how I'm being at all unreasonable in this. I do my best to accommodate him as much as possible. I just expect that he show me the courtesy of doing what he says he's going to do when he says he's going to do it, barring hospitalization or bear attack. He also doesn't understand why it upsets me that he shows up two hours late for almost everything. All I want is for him to be on time/on schedule for things to show respect for the fact that I bend over backwards to accomodate his ridiculous lifestyle.
posted
*sigh* Now he's saying that he has a lot of things to think about concerning moving in and all that. I don't understand what he thinks has changed. It's not like I'm a different person. It's not like that happened to me yesterday. I'm still the same person as I was before I told him, but now I guess he looks at me differently. It's not like I'm a crazed mental patient, for crying out loud...he's not going to have to keep me away from scissors and three-ring binders.
But now I feel incredibly unsure of myself and unsure of our relationship. I mean, if me telling him something like that could change the way he look sat me that much, after we've been together this long...what does that mean?
posted
Okay, here's a medication question...it's hard to find an answer for on my own because...okay, my doctor told me that I needed to split up my regular Wellbutrin dose. I used to take 150mg Wellbutrin XL and 150mg regular, non-sustained release Wellbutrin all at once. Now he's telling me I should take the XL and 75mg of the regular in the morning and the other 75mg at lunch. The thing is, now I'm feeling incredibly fatigued, which doesn't make sense, since regular Wellbutrin has a really really short half-life, and splitting it up should give me MORE energy, not less, I'd think. But I'm also very close to my period. So which is more likely? If I switch to all regular Wellbutrin, four times a day, am I going to just sleep all the time? Because it's a stimulant...it doesn't make sense that I'd be more tired. But maybe I'm missing something that I haven't read anything about because practically no one takes regular Wellbutrin anymore; they usually take SR or XL.
Edit: I've also been having really, really creepy nightmares. I woke up maybe every half-hour last night. And of course I had to wake up poor Michael as well because I was scared. And I tried to take a nap and had yet another (really, really) creepy dream.
I understand that your brain works on specifics as far as places and times go.
However, I'm exactly like your boyfriend. I will say I'll be there at a specific time, and I'll have every intention of being there then. I'll even try to budget my time so that I get there. "oh I have to leave in 15minutes, I have to leave in 10minutes" But somehow I'm *always* late.
There's a stress and anxiety factor that goes into it too. If I *absolutely* have to be somewhere on time, I may get there but I will be in an emotional whirlwind cranky tizzy and generally incapable of participating in whatever it is I was supposed to do.
I obviously would make a horrible boyfriend for you. But I suspect his brain just doesn't work that way. Mine just doesn't no matter how much I try.
If this is a non-negotiable area for you, and you can't deal with someone whose brain works exactly *opposite* from you in this regard, maybe your flaws aren't compatible with each other.
I second what quidscribis said. Steve and I both think we've gotten the better bargain in our relationship, because our flaws don't drive the other person crazy and they love us regardless.
I can't see my psychiatrist once a week anymore. In fact, I'll probably only get to see him four times a year.
I've been so busy with work that I haven't even gotten to see my specialist in a while.
The amount of stress and increase in symptoms created by the longer work week makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to hold a regular job.
My Wellbutrin dose has gone up from 300mg to 350mg, which is actually cheaper. I think Wellbutrin takes about a week to start kicking in. It's been three days.
quote:The amount of stress and increase in symptoms created by the longer work week makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to hold a regular job.
I know it doesn't seem like it right now, pH, but there will be a time when all of this will be something that you're looking back on. I know that for me, keeping the transitory nature of everything in mind really helps me when I'm going through something unpleasant. No matter how bad something is, I can think "this will pass". And eventually it does.
What's the story on the psychiatrist? Why only four times a year? Is it an insurance thing? If so, is there any way that you could afford extra sessions on your own dime (maybe with a sliding scale or something)? That's assuming that you feel like the sessions are productive enough to be worth it, of course.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't have insurance. Well, I do, but it's crappy student insurance. I used to have three different doctors (psychiatrist and two therapists) that I each saw once a week, but I couldn't afford it for long, and it interfered with work. I need to keep seeing the specialist as close to weekly as possible, and I need to be able to pay for medicine, so I have to cut back on the psychiatrist.
You know, the Red Cross was giving money for people who lived in New Orleans before the storm to see therapists. I thought about looking into that, but there are people who need it more than I do.
quote:I thought about looking into that, but there are people who need it more than I do.
The thing is, there are always, always people who need money / resources more than you do. Without straining my imagination, I could easily think up a variety of serious problems that the Red Cross might be able to help you with, and still others would need help more.
That does not preclude you needing it. Organizations like the Red Cross don't operate on the self-sacrificing impulses of the needy, they exist to help the needy. If they can help you, they will be glad to...and those other people who need it more would be gladly helped by them, too.
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
*Your* words? Your words? I'll have you know that it was from my mouth that you removed them, varlet!
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Of course it was. You tried (unsuccessfully) to steal them! Next time, your tongue comes out with my stolen property!
Posts: 17164 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
So now you're threatening to steal my organs as well as my words, is that how it is? I'm keeping records of this for the authorities, I'll have you know.
[Edit--hey, wait! That woman who invited me to her hotel room...the one in whose ice filled bathtub I woke up the next day...that was actually you, wasn't it? Threatening to come back for the tongue is just the icing on the cake!]
posted
I've always wondered where all that ice comes from. I mean, you'd think that room service would know that something was amiss if they were asked to send up a bathtub full of ice. And the other hotel patrons might notice someone going to the ice machine down the hall with a wheelbarrow.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:I thought about looking into that, but there are people who need it more than I do.
The thing is, there are always, always people who need money / resources more than you do. Without straining my imagination, I could easily think up a variety of serious problems that the Red Cross might be able to help you with, and still others would need help more.
That does not preclude you needing it. Organizations like the Red Cross don't operate on the self-sacrificing impulses of the needy, they exist to help the needy. If they can help you, they will be glad to...and those other people who need it more would be gladly helped by them, too.
Be that as it may, I'm still going to be seen by someone once a week without the help of the Red Cross. It just doesn't seem absolutely necessary right now, as much as I'd like to go more often. I did finally get around to contacting the school's disability services people though. Oh, what an awkward conversation that was. I think I'm going to go crawl under a rock right now....and take Tante's ears with me.
posted
I made the mistake of mentioning to my mother that I'd talked to student disability services. I got a call from my father five minutes later all about how I can't have something like that on my record la la la, shameful to everyone, never going to get a job, blah blah.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
