posted
I'm so sorry pH, you have my hopes and so many hugs I wish I could give. I mean that sincerely.
Something similar has happened to a couple in their 30s who used to babysit me since I was 5. They were the closest adults to me outside my immediate family, so I think I know what you mean when you say surreal.
Posts: 349 | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Remeber the Sex and the City episode where Samantha posted fliers all over the neighborhood about what a lying jerk her boyfriend Richard was? Best.
pH, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. One of the worst parts about these kinds of lies is that it goes back and infects all the good memories. It leaves you with nothing. I'm sorry for that, but I am also supremely glad that you just dodged an enormous bullet. And yes, our instincts are almost always, ALWAYS right. I am hard pressed to think of a single instance where I went against my instincts and it didn't come back and hit me in the face.
Here's for your health improving quickly, your heart and trust healing soon, and the right man finding and appreciating you. ((((pH))))
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: As curious as I am, I refuse to let this be the incident that finally drove me to register at LiveJournal. *grin*
Like I said, if someone else wants to explain it here, they're free to do so. I'm just so....bleh right now that I don't want to type the whole thing out.
Nothing as big or finding out as dreadful, but I dated a guy for two months once who was telling the same lie. He went to Thanksgiving out of state, I picked him up from the airport, and he mentioned that he was getting married to his fiance over Christmas break. !!!
First I heard about it. And then he was surprised because I wasn't interested in continuing to date.
So, not as big, but it turns out that happens quite a lot. And to the very best of women!
(They got married that CHristmas and were divorced by the next Christmas. No big surprise there.)
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I must still be unfiltered after all these years. Dang.
Sorry this happened, Pearce. If you need someone to talk to, you know all the various ways you can reach me. My ears are open.
Posts: 1960 | Registered: May 2005
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Tom the story basically is an anonymous user posted a comment on another hatracker's LJ (as breyerchic said) insinuating that Michael was cheating on pH and also mentioned that he was 40.
pH didn't believe her at first (and was fairly creeped out by the whole thing) - she told Michael, who denied cheating on her. However, through some myspace contacts, pH found out that Michael might actually be 41, not 29 as she thought.
So she did some digging (with the help of internet ninjas) and found his birthdate (1966).
Ok, so pH is confused and upset - why on earth has this man been lying to her about his age for so long? In finding his birth date, she also found his parent's phone number (Note - pH never met Michael's parents, and this was an issue in their relationship. Turns out there was a reason Michael was keeping them apart!). So she rang Michael's parents, and spoke to his Dad who thought she must have got the wrong Michael, as his son (who was 41) was engaged and due to be married in 3 weeks.
pH knew she had the right Michael, because the address matched where she knew his parents lived.
So she rang Michael, he confessed all, cried and said he was sorry.
That's about it, I think. Obviously pH didn't accept the apology, and has changed her locks etc so Michael can't return.
Edit: I replaced some name calling. I think it's implicit anyway.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Didn't she have another boyfriend at some point in time, and that also ended badly, or was that this guy too?
Posts: 3354 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by steven: Didn't she have another boyfriend at some point in time, and that also ended badly, or was that this guy too?
Michael and I broke up for ~6 weeks during the summer because he hadn't introduced me to his parents, and he was spending too much time at his job (of course, who knows what kind of "job" he was doing). He got a new job working for Lockheed Martin (or at least that's what he told me), and promised to go to couples counseling and to introduce me to his parents, so I took him back.
Rest assured, he will not have such an opportunity ever again.
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: As curious as I am, I refuse to let this be the incident that finally drove me to register at LiveJournal. *grin*
And once again, I agree with Tom. Hell. Ice.
pH, I'm so sorry you're going through this. No one deserves crap like this. What a jerk!
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
You know, he must have been a really incredibly well-preserved 40-year-old. I'm 32, and I don't think I could pass for 29.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
I'm 39, and I regularly have people think I'm 25-28. Fahim's the same way. My sister, however, is only two years older than me, and looks *cough* her age. She hates it. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: You know, he must have been a really incredibly well-preserved 40-year-old. I'm 32, and I don't think I could pass for 29.
I'm 23 and I don't think I could pass for anything below 25. Though when I shave my goatee off no one believes I'm older than 18.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
This guy sounds eerily -- Eerily -- like the man my sister was seeing. Not the same, but I think it's worse to know there are multiple iterations of him in the world.
i'd like to read the story on your lj...it's turnthepage, but i'm pretty sure i don't have access to your top secret stuff Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Does anyone know if they will let me bring my prescription cough syrup on the plane? I really need to have it with me; I don't know how else I will make it through the flight.
quote:Originally posted by TomDavidson: You know, he must have been a really incredibly well-preserved 40-year-old. I'm 32, and I don't think I could pass for 29.
You're 32?
To the random question- I would put doses of the syrup in small bottles of some kind and put them in my pockets.
Other option would be non-perscription cough meds in pill form to tide you over. Take your last dose of perscription before checking in, then midway take the non script. You'll probably be fine.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:You may bring all prescription and over-the-counter medications (liquids, gels, and aerosols) including KY jelly, eye drops, and saline solution for medical purposes.
quote:You are not limited in the amount or volume of these items you may bring in your carry-on baggage. BUT if the medically necessary items exceed 3 ounces or are not contained in a one-quart, zip-top plastic bag, you MUST declare to one of our Security Officers at the checkpoint for further inspection.
posted
Prescriptions are fine. Just bring a copy of the prescription, just in case.
I have declared kids' juice, diaper cream, etc. on the last few flights I've been on. They don't have a problem with it. You just tell them that it's there and put it through the x-ray with your other stuff.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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There are names for boys like that (no matter what their age, males who act like that are boys, not men). But since every one of them aside from "lying scum" are composed of language I can't use here, I'll simply say that the whole thing sucks and I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
Posts: 2454 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Orincoro, curious would you have thought Tom was older or younger? I thought he was younger but not enough to matter (more I was stuck on 2005).
Posts: 5362 | Registered: Apr 2004
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My friend Karen got involved with a guy named Gary. Nice, hardworking guy. Six months later he disappeared, along with her car and a lot of her money.
She managed to track down Gary's sister, and when she explained who she was, Gary's sister said "Oh, not again." It turns out that Gary had abandoned his wife and kid, and for years had been doing the same thing to Karen and many other women.
Karen recovered the car, though not the money. After that, she took a vow of celibacy for a year. (And, eventually, got involved with a much better guy.)
It was disturbing -- most shady people, you can get a sense that they're shady. Gary was a sociopath -- he didn't give off any signals at all.
But knowing Gary was valuable in a way. I know a few folks who're suspicious types who're always speculating on whether someone is shady and claiming that they can tell when someone is... I like to tell them about Gary, because with someone like that, you really can't tell, and that being suspicious all the time is a waste of time because it still won't keep you safe. There's just going to be some jerks like Gary in the world, and being paranoid and mistrustful all the time wastes your time and keeps you from living your life.
Anyway... I hope you'll be able to learn what you can from this awful mess, and then put it behind you. Go ahead and have a real life, and leave Michael to the wreck he's made of his life.
Posts: 2911 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Hmm. I remember reading about your problems in the past, ph, though I didn't have much to say since I don'[t know you or anything.
I remember all that time you said he spent "at work."
You complained he was working an absurd amount of the time... yeah. I think we all now know what he was doing.
Well. As Tom said, you weren't being paranoid, things were bugging you for a very good reason. There really WAS something wrong! *hugs* At the very least, it's comforting to know you weren't being crazy or stupid. Not at all pleasant situation, but now things fall into place. I mean... wow.
Posts: 1577 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I think he's triple bad for using her past relationships to convince her that she was being paranoid and unreasonable. "I'm not like so-and-so." Jerk face.
There is at least one other girlfriend besides the wife-to-be, because she was the one who tipped her off, citing a code of 'chicks before dicks.' (I assume this the girl-power equivalent of Bros before Hos, and I certainly approve.)
I am not a violent person, but I wish someone would stomp his privates until they hear a popping sound.
On the bright side, pH is feeling totally vindicated and un-crazy, which is good. I mean, so many break-ups are emotionally murky, but this isn't. He's a bad person, plain and simple. I can see why that has made this a bit easier for pH.
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Holy crap, pH. I'm sorry this happened to you, what an asshole (sorry for the unfiltered profanity, but this is a situation that deserves it). Send me a message through the usual means if you need help with anything.
I hate when jerkwads sully the name Michael.
Posts: 5422 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
That sucks pH. And here I thought we engineers were such nice guys.
My wife had a similar situation happen years ago. She was dating someone and they had discussed getting married. He found out that he had a son by his ex-girlfriend in California (he lived in Florida) and decided that he wanted to be a part of his son's life, so he convinced K to move to California with him so they could be near him. He went out first to get things settled and K was to follow in a few weeks with the rest of their things.
She got a call from his parents a few days after he got there to tell her that he had married his ex-girlfriend. They were very apologetic that their son had been such a jerk and told her to keep anything he left to sell and try and recoup some of the financial loss.
It turned out he planned it all along, but just couldn't tell her. It was much easier to just move and never have to see her again. I bet he's turned out to be a great role model for his son.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:I swear, this makes me want to only date those to whom I am formerly introduced by trusted acquaintances who can vouch for his character.
There was an ad for a service like this at the bottom of the page until a few hours ago, at which point Google started pushing "Amazon Breakthrough Novel" awards.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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quote:Originally posted by pH: Michael and I broke up for ~6 weeks during the summer because he hadn't introduced me to his parents, and he was spending too much time at his job (of course, who knows what kind of "job" he was doing). He got a new job working for Lockheed Martin (or at least that's what he told me) ...
Assuming that he lives in Louisiana (rather than actually being 107 yrs old and/or living in California), I'd hazard a guess that he is or has been working for a Campbell family business.
Sucks, pH. As MattP said, at least you weren't to the point of married yet, and as TomD said, at least you weren't paranoid or crazy. Small favors.
But no more Ratfink Boy in your life! Yay! *shakes fist
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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quote:Originally posted by pH: Michael and I broke up for ~6 weeks during the summer because he hadn't introduced me to his parents, and he was spending too much time at his job (of course, who knows what kind of "job" he was doing). He got a new job working for Lockheed Martin (or at least that's what he told me) ...
Assuming that he lives in Louisiana (rather than actually being 107 yrs old and/or living in California), I'd hazard a guess that he is or has been working for a Campbell family business.
Sucks, pH. As MattP said, at least you weren't to the point of married yet, and as TomD said, at least you weren't paranoid or crazy. Small favors.
But no more Ratfink Boy in your life! Yay! *shakes fist
That first listing (Campbell Racing Systems, LLC) is his company. This I know for sure. Wow, it's crazy what you can find on the internet.
Edit: Are websites like that legit? Like, if I paid the $40, would they steal my credit card info, or would I actually get a whole bunch of good information?
quote:Are websites like that legit? Like, if I paid the $40, would they steal my credit card info, or would I actually get a whole bunch of good information?
I don't know if that particular site is legit, but there is a substantial economy in "background check" web sites. These companies subscribe to a number of government and private databases from which they can get employment histories, previous addresses, names and relationships of family members, real estate transaction info, etc.
Posts: 3275 | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Shan: Don't do crazy things and compromise your safety and wellness, okay?
Exactly. The more you stay involved, the more chance he has to continue messing up your life, either directly or indirectly.
The worst damage you can do to him is remove your wonderful and lovely self from his life utterly. Do it. Anything else is attention, and any attention is good attention for people like this.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
... Aside from telling his other girlfriends.
Oh. And BTW. Private-stomping is good. I think OSC's idea of flaying and dipping in boiling oil is better, though.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
Please avoid the private stomping. I think he deserves it, but it can't help, especially if it's been plotted out in public on the Internet.
The law can at times be somewhat forgiving of things done in response to such low behavior. Pre-meditation makes such legal forgiveness much harder to obtain.
More important, though, is what CT said.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I'm so sorry pH, you have my hopes and so many hugs I wish I could give. I mean that sincerely.
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