I know you'll figure it out, Katarain. I'm just about to buy a sling of my own--I held off because I was worried about figuring out. But both the Snuggli I got as a gift and the Baby Bjorn someone loaned me hurt my back when I wear them longer than about 15 min.
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jun 2005
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When is a good time to introduce a bottle? There have been several moments when I've really wanted to start pumping because I'm full and uncomfortable and Katababy refuses to wake up to feed. (When she's conked out, she's really conked out.) I haven't pumped yet, though, because so far, I seem to have the right amount of supply for her. I'm afraid that if I pump she'll be left hungry and I'll have to give her a bottle of the expressed milk. But I don't want to cause nipple confusion.
Eventually I'll want her to take a bottle or the breast so that her daddy can feed her when I can't be right there or if I'm at work.
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
That's a nice long sleep, Liz. Congrats. How old is your baby?
I haven't been keeping track of how long she sleeps. My hubby and I keep odd hours when we're both not working. You never know if we're going to be up and about at 3AM or 3PM, so it doesn't really faze me if I'm up for a 2PM feeding. She does have some nice long stretches of sleep, though. She seems to sleep best when she's lying right next to one of us.
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
Go ahead and pump if you're feeling full, and stick it in the freezer to start building up a reserve. You're making milk all the time, so there will be milk for her when she wakes up. And it will help you when you are at the point of going back to work if you already have some stockpiled.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Liz B: Eleven thirty to 6:38 AM.
Yay!
Kata, unless you are pumping shortly before feeding (which is not a good idea), your body will have NO problem producing enough milk. However, pumping to relieve discomfort can become a cycle, so unless you are trying to build up a stock of bottles in the freezer (which is a good idea, if you'll be working), be careful of that.
You can pump long before you're ready to give her a bottle -- breast milk keeps in the freezer for three months. I liked to use the plastic drop-in bags from the bottles as freezer containers. Once frozen, just twist-tie shut (and label with the date).
As far as a "best time to introduce a bottle," I've heard a whole gamut of opinions. IME, as long as nursing is well established, it doesn't matter much. My pediatrician liked 4-6 weeks; yours may have a different suggestion.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
He's 15 weeks actual age, 9 weeks corrected.
Let's see. Just going from memory, I think 6 weeks is recommended for introducing a bottle, as long as your breastfeeding relationship is well established by then.
All babies are different, but just so you know--Nathaniel had very little problem moving from bottle to breast as a newborn, but very recently we skipped a few days of giving him a bottle and when we went back to it he rejected it. Firmly. We've mostly fixed the problem by offering it twice a day (and not making a big deal of it if he doesn't want it--I just go ahead and nurse). It's not that important that he takes it...I won't be going back to work until he's 8.5 months old, and by then I hope he'll be able to drink from a cup...but it sure has been nice to be able to go out without him for more than an hour or so.
And just to clarify--I am NOT recommending starting a bottle/ pacifier early just because my son didn't really have a problem as a newborn. I don't think it's worth the risk of jeopardizing the breastfeeding relationship.
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Boon
unregistered
posted
I know exactly what you mean about the ring sling problem, Katarain. Here's how I fixed it:
Instead of bunching up the end to thread it, start with just the corner of the top rail and the corner of the bottom rail. Once they're through both rings, pull them at the same time away from each other to draw in the center fabric. This should help keep them straight and on the ends, and help eliminate some of the extra bunching I got in the center that made it slip loose a bit.
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I found that folding it very neatly all the way down, threading it through, putting it on, and THEN spreading it worked for me. The folding "very neatly" part was essential.
Personally, Emma took a bottle at 2 months and refused it at 3; she did take a sippy cup at 4.5 months. Bridey never took any kind of bottle, ever, ever, ever, or cup, until she was a year old. Period. She loved pacis until 7 months then ditched them, but she would not take a bottle. She did sip water out of a regular glass at 6 months if you held it for her. So I didn't get to leave that one for more than an hour until she was 6 months and my mom would feed her a few sips of water and solid foods with extra water mixed in, I would nurse her right before we left and as soon as we got back. She could go three or four hours that way at that point. I think with the next one I'm not going to give a bottle at all, I'm just going to wait 3 or 4 months and then introduce a sippy cup.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Katarain - I am so glad you switched pediatricians so quickly. You are a much smarter woman than I.
I went to the Idiot, as I like to call him, at the recommendation of my neighbor (with four kids, I figured she would know). At the first appointment he said, "Did you know your son's nose is flat because he is African American." Really, my son is African American, and his nose is flatter than mine, hmmm, I hadn't noticed. Then we had the following conversation.
"Would you like to have your son circumcised?" "He is already circumcised." (his birthmom had him snipped.) "African Americans don't circumcise their sons, do you want him circumcised?" He says with authority. "He is already circumcised." "It is a cultural thing, do you want him circumcised?" he asks, ignoring me. "Well, lets check him out, can you take off his diaper? Hmmm, he is already circumcised." He says.
Aaarggg.
Stupidly, I took my son back to see him. At this point my son's body was completely covered by a horrible rash. The nurse weighed my son and I left off the sleeper so the doctor could see the extent of the rash. The doctor walks in the room.
"Put on his clothes, it is cold in here!" "I just want you to look at his skin" "It's cold in here, you should not let him get this cold" "Please, just look at his skin, he has a horrible rash." "Put his clothes on then we can talk." I put the sleeper back on. The doctor then tells me, "Your son does not have a rash, he just has very dry skin. African Americans tend to have dry skin." "I know about African American skin because I had many foster siblings who were African American. This is not dry skin!" "It is dry skin, you are just panicing."
Me, in a lame attempt to take control of the situation. "Baby lotion does not work and seems to make things worse, so I have been using Eucerin and even that does not help."
He looks at me knowingly, "Well, that is your problem, Eucerin is for adults, keep using the baby lotion, it will help."
At this point I gave up, and after the appointment found another doctor. The next doctor walked in the room, took one look at my baby and said, "Wow, that is a really bad case of Eczema." He then gave us helpful tips and a prescription, and special formula for children with allergies.
I think my son was the first black person the Idiot had ever seen.
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
To be honest, until you said there were such just now, I did not know there were review the doctor sites.
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:Originally posted by dkw: Tatiana, why don't you start a "parenting teenagers" thread? The issues really aren't the same as with newborns. The difference in attention that needs to be paid to butts is a perfect example.
Because from reading this thread, it seemed like many of the issues were the same.
He has trouble sleeping through the night, for instance. We have difficulties with doctors similar to those described above. He's sick and cranky sometimes. I get tired and I'm not always as patient as I'd like to be.
posted
Oooh, ooh! Tatiana's trying to equate her current situation with a teenager to parents with newborn children. The stretching and skewing inherent in the discussion should bring everyone out of the woodwork.
I think I need some popcorn.
Anyone want to start a "Tatiana leaves, like forver and stuff" again pool? I'm putting short odds on "Someone comes in with a reasonable, well thought-out post about how the situation is not even remotely the same and Tatiana refuses to listen to reason and leaves in a huff." Long odds on "Tatiana actually leaves forever this time."
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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Clearly babies and 17-year-olds are not the same. That's been said, though. There's no need to try and goad someone into leaving.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Gyah! Not to turn into the police, but Tatiana, do you get that you that a near-adult is not the same as a baby? You don't have an infant, and equating the two makes it seem like you're either slow or passive-aggressively hostile to the people in this thread.
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Tatiana, it might be a good idea to consider Dana's suggestion of a different thread for the difficulties of teenagers.
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Wow, as a new mother I really do think the issues are very much the same. I had no idea that observation would generate any hostility or opposition. I'm puzzled. Is there some reason this thread is damaged or compromised by me asking questions about motherhood?
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
My youngest is 8 months old. Even I would find it amiss to post in this thread about the problems I'm having. The world's of difference between a newborn and an 8 month old could fill volumes. The problems I'm having right now are regarding teething, learning to crawl, introducing new foods & sleeping through the night on his own. These issues are light years away for people with newborns.
Seriously, my sister, when she had her baby a couple of months ago, couldn't believe how big my son looked. Right now, they're like night and day in what they can do.
Now, if the gulf is so great between babies that are 6 months apart, think about the gulf between your "son" and a newborn. You're really wrong on this one and don't have a leg to stand on.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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The issues with a newborn and the issues with a near-adult are not handled in the same manner.
Once again, start a thread for parenting teenagers to discuss what to do when a 17-year-old can't sleep. Nursing him and changing his diaper are inappropriate.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:I'm puzzled. Is there some reason this thread is damaged or compromised by me asking questions about motherhood?
i don't particularly care about thread drift. I doubt most of the people here do either. It is the attitude inherent in "Wow, as a new mother I really do think the issues are very much the same" that has tripped warning flags for several people.
Your issues are not very much the same. They are very, very different. Not only do parents of newborns face issues that can't possibly come up in your situation, you face issues that can't possibly come up for the parents of newborns. There's quite simply very little overlap. Even in the areas where there is overlap (worries about adequacy, for example), the actual concrete solutions are likely to have almost nothing in common.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:Wow, as a new mother I really do think the issues are very much the same.
If this is actually true, you have no business being a new mother.
A teenager and a newborn baby are incredibly different things. If you don't understand how this is true, you are not fit to act as a parent to either. Treating one like the other will lead to disasterous consequences. For example airing a teenagers issues without getting their okay is a gross violation of a teenagers privacy.
quote: I had no idea that observation would generate any hostility or opposition.
posted
Okay, let me get this straight. It's wrong for me to post a question about a somewhat different but closely related subject in a thread? We don't do that on Hatrack? We stick strictly to the topic the original poster introduced, or face hostility and sarcastic put-downs? I didn't realize this.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Good grief, Mr. Squicky! You know what I was expecting better than me? You feel qualified to say I was lying about my own thoughts and to judge my fitness as a mother? That's crazy!
Actually I truly thought that I would find some friendship and help here. I seriously did. And I was offering mine as well.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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In the general case, no. In this specific case, you are very clearly in the wrong.
edit (kat was only agreeing with the top part): Several people have been very nice and restrained in pointing out what you should do, if you were actualy looking for help/discussion.
I'm with PC. Let's just hurry up the point where people's unwillingness to accept your delusions gets you to storm off.
Posts: 10177 | Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:Okay, let me get this straight. It's wrong for me to post a question about a somewhat different but closely related subject in a thread? We don't do that on Hatrack? We stick strictly to the topic the original poster introduced, or face hostility and sarcastic put-downs? I didn't realize this.
No. It is your assertion that the issues are very much the same that is provoking most of the reaction.
You faced slight sarcasm from Jon Boy and Kate. Within those posts was information that would have made it clear what the issue is here. Maybe not the most productive way to clue you into something, but there was meaningful information you could have extracted from it. Both made the point succinctly and powerfully.
You also faced some other hostile posts that didn't provide such useful information and were likely out of bounds. Each of those posts was based on more than just your posts in this thread.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Remember how well it went for you last time you brought up your "adoption" of this guy? The reaction you're getting now is almost certainly influenced by what was said then.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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You have been told what is inappropriate. Are you being slow or are you being passive-aggressive?
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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You mean I'm slow to see that there are a few people who are trying to make it clear that I'm unwelcome here? It's not that I don't see that. It's that I know they aren't hatrack. I've seen hatrack evolve over 12 years. It's bigger than that.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Anne Kate, equating the needs of a 17-year-old boy with those of a newborn baby is wrong. It means that either you don't understand the needs of either or else you think the whole thread is a big play-acting venues with everyone talking about their imaginary children. The first makes conversation impossible and the second is insulting.
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Katie, so only things that are exactly equal are allowed to share the same threads? That's where I'm confused.
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You are not unwelcome here if you want to talk about babies. A 19 year old is NOT a baby. It doesn't matter how new he is to you, he is not a baby, and his issues are very different from a baby's issues. The fact that both of them involve sleep does not make them the same issue.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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So this thread is only about babies. Not about motherhood? And any stretching of the topic as stated in the title post is strictly forbidden?
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
An honest question. We've never limited topics to be only about what's mentioned in the original post. That's not hatrack's style at all. I have to think the slight stretching of the topic to new-motherhood in general, even of non-infants, is not what the problem is here at all.
I'm not equating a teenager and an infant. I was asking questions about motherhood. I think I dropped those, though.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Yes! Exactly! There are many reasons the posts are inappropriate. You are choosing to ignore the reasons that were told to you.
The suggestion to try a different thread is a polite way to set aside the amazing creepiness of equating a newborn's needs with a near-adult's.
It seems to be that you posting in this thread is a passive-aggressive way of seeking validation in your role as a mother. If that's your goal, I suggest being much more direct in your pursuit of that approval and accepting that you might not get it.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Tatiana, I have a negative reaction to you posting as if you are a new mommy to a new baby.
By my definition, you are not, and he isn't. I'm not denigrating the idea that you CARE for him-- I allow that you do. But he's not a baby. He's a teenager. He's almost an adult. And you're not a mommy, Tatiana, not by my definition. You can be motherly, or even a Mom, or a mother-- but a 'mommy,' in my opinion, is the mother to a very young, dependent child.
Your point about thread drift is a good one, IMO; we shouldn't care about thread drift. That's what we keep telling n00bs.
You've got a history here on this subject, Tatiana. Many people have expressed reservations about your relationship with this boy. Those reservations are going to keep surfacing every time you bring up the subject. Especially if you insist that there's no difference between what biological parents, or long-term guardians, do and what you've done with "Sasha."
I don't mean to discourage you from posting about this kid's difficulties. Apparently, he needs lots of assistance, and if you're helping, more power to you. I hope this community can help you help him. That said, your insistence that he's a baby, and you're his mommy is really problematic for me, to the point that I doubt your trustworthiness on this topic.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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I think that, rather than needing information about how to take care of things like breastfeeding and diaper rash (see most of the rest of the thread) you were using this thread to get acknowledgment that you, too, are a new mommy. Because of the situation, that is problematic. You seem to want the community to equate situations that are not equal.
Does that make sense?
Posts: 11187 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
You did equate the needs of the two as the same. You might as well have chimed in about the needs of your favorite doll.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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