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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The Last Post Thread, The Next Generation (Page 100)

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Author Topic: The Last Post Thread, The Next Generation
Samprimary
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Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, page one hundred. Oh, stars. Oh. Oh. I, hold on. I need to compose myself. I suppose I, oh, gosh. Wow. I cannot, there just aren't any words. I have to start by saying I, I, I would like to thank the Academy, and my family, for always being supportive and there for me. And I would like to thank the Colorado state legislature for decriminalizing pot even though I don't smoke pot, it just seems relevant somehow. And to all the little people, yes, you're just, you made this all possible. And I would like to bring up Sacheen Littlefeather for a rousing speech about how all our problems are trivial compared to the oppression of the Native Americans and the First Nations. What? We can't do that? Well can we at least get Michael Moore in here to say something that will cause him to get chased off the stage by music? No? Well fine you can keep your awards and your first posts and your Landmarks, I'm just going to go to sleep. Thank you! Thank you all! I'm so blessed to be here!
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advice for robots
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Hijacked by greatness.
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DustinDopps
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Hijacked by annoying nonsense. The *rest* of the thread was full of stark observations and realistic conjecture.
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Marek
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I knew it would speed up near the end, but didn't see that coming
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by DustinDopps:
Hijacked by annoying nonsense. The *rest* of the thread was full of stark observations and realistic conjecture.

http://media.giphy.com/media/8Hg2FpkTYkdJC/giphy.gif
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Samprimary
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wait that one sucked i could have used this

http://i.imgur.com/pHvpBxx.gif

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Vasslia Cora
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Oh dear, it looks like I am late to the party
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Marek
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but the last post thread is the party that (inexplicably) never ends
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Mr. Y
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Cousin Jimmy 's at the door, another beer and he's on the floor...
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DustinDopps
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You spelled his name wrong. He's my cousin Vinny.
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Mr. Y
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I humbly apologize for the mistake. Perhaps Vinny would like to meet my cousin Rachel?
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Marek
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Is Rachel on trial for a murder in Alabama?
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Mr. Y
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Not that I know of. But if that is something Vinny values in a woman, I'm sure something can be arranged.
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GaalDornick
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, page one hundred. Oh, stars. Oh. Oh. I, hold on. I need to compose myself. I suppose I, oh, gosh. Wow. I cannot, there just aren't any words. I have to start by saying I, I, I would like to thank the Academy, and my family, for always being supportive and there for me. And I would like to thank the Colorado state legislature for decriminalizing pot even though I don't smoke pot, it just seems relevant somehow. And to all the little people, yes, you're just, you made this all possible. And I would like to bring up Sacheen Littlefeather for a rousing speech about how all our problems are trivial compared to the oppression of the Native Americans and the First Nations. What? We can't do that? Well can we at least get Michael Moore in here to say something that will cause him to get chased off the stage by music? No? Well fine you can keep your awards and your first posts and your Landmarks, I'm just going to go to sleep. Thank you! Thank you all! I'm so blessed to be here!

Don't forget to add this to your resume
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Mr. Y
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Especially when you are applying for a job as proofreader.
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Marek
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Is posting on hatrack good for your resume?
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Mr. Y
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It is probably better than mentioning that you post on 4chan.
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DustinDopps
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My resume says that I posted "FIRST!" on an internet forum. And, indeed, I was the first commenter on that particular page. It makes me look awesome.
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Marek
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Mine says i've had the same mindlessly boring job for a really long time
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GaalDornick
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My resume consists entirely of Condescending Wonka memes.
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Marek
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If i were a boss, i'd hire anyone who brought in that resume
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Mr. Y
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My new resume is printed in Comic Sans. Would that negatively influence my chances of getting a job?
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Marek
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I prefer them printed in windings 2, but ok
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Stone_Wolf_
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I find the font unimportant...just make sure the size is 8 pt, so you can pack in the deets of just how AWESOME you are!

Also, use lots of smiley faces and of course DO IT ALL IN CAPS JUST SO THAT YOURS STANDS OUT.

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DustinDopps
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I also fold my resume into an intricate origami piece before sending it. It's almost impossible to open it without tearing the paper, but I think it really impresses people.
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Marek
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I hope the part with contact info is intact
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GaalDornick
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Well this escalated quickly
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Marek
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Origami has that effect on most conversations
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DustinDopps
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I forgot to mention that I staple shut one of the folds just to make it extra amusing for the poor HR drone. I'm sure it makes their day better.
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Mr. Y
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Finally they will have a worthwhile use for that de-stapler.
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Marek
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is that different from a staple remover?
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Mr. Y
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Probably not. De-stapler is just a direct translation of our local name for this thing.
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Marek
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dang, i was excited about this new de-stapling technology
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advice for robots
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Thing is, you could still come out with brand new stapling technology in this day and age. It's far from a defunct thing, the way the Selectric might be. My stapler still occupies a proud place on my desk.

BTW, for some reason I thought this thread would have 5000+ posts. Had to think about it.

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vegimo
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The new millennium started January 1, 2001.
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Exactly one year after most people celebrated it. [Smile]
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Marek
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yep, 2001 was just another new years, no one cared. maybe y2k drove up the hype for 2000
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Mr. Y
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I was just as unconcerned about the new year in 2000 as I was in 2001. To me it is just another example of frivolous partying; celebrating that the earth wasn't hit by an asteroid for another 365,25 days by polluting the air with an incredible amount of fireworks.

*resumes seat in rocker on porch and mumbles to himself "Darn kids..."

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Marek
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quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Y:
To me it is just another example of frivolous partying; celebrating that the earth wasn't hit by an asteroid for another 365,25 days by polluting the air with an incredible amount of fireworks.

That sounds like a great day
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DustinDopps
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There is no such thing as a frivolous party. With that in mind, it is September 4: Eat an Additional Dessert Day!

Everyone come to my house around 7:00 and we'll get wasted and do cheesecake shots.

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Marek
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that sounds awesome
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Mr. Y
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Actually, yesterday it was Enjoy Responsibly Day.
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ricree101
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Both shots and cheesecake can be nice.

I'm not entirely sold on the concept of "cheesecake shots".

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DustinDopps
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How about FRIED cheesecake shots dipped in ranch, then dipped again in gravy.
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Marek
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when does the vodka come in?
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Mr. Y
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Just as soon as we reach the 5000th post in this thread.
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4
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Samprimary
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5
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vegimo
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4998
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theamazeeaz
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5000 is now yours for the taking.
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