posted
Sorry, I had to delete it. I considered giving warning but at the moment nothing was more important than preventing the shame and hurt of a fellow hatracker.
Please feel free to continue the discussion.
If anything like that gets posted in here again, I'll delete it again.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Storm Saxon asked if any women here actually felt totally happy with their bodies.
I'd be lying if I said 100%. But I feel I'm pretty close. Sure I poke fun at myself for some stomach flub that comes and goes, or acne that won't go away (all my father's fault, he has horrible skin). But when it really matters, I can feel totally comfortable with my body.
I used to ask my friends way-back-when when they were deciding whether or not to lose their virginity to some guy they were dating that there were certain things I thought were necessary to answer first. And the pertinent one for here is, "Are you truly comfortable with your body? Can you stand around naked in front of this guy and not feel ashamed?" I think it says a lot about self-esteem, self-worth, and trust.
Posts: 1261 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
PSI, yes, you should have put a warning... I saw very interesting stuff yesterday in it, but didn't have the time to read it all. I have no idea what happened later in the thread, though... If things like this happen again, consider saving the pages with non-offensive content so that if anyone wants them you can e-mail the pages to them. (right-click on the page and then "view source", than save it as a html)
posted
I think there have been moments where I thought I was totally beautiful, and a few of them were totally independent of my husband, so that's good. I'm kinda striving to feel beautiful without my husband to tell me that, with his admiration as icing on the cake. It doesn't happen often but it's nice when it does. I'm thinking specifically of my wedding day. Looking back at the pictures I wasn't more beautiful than most brides, but I thought I was then. It's all about perception, which has already been said.
Corwin, since you didn't see it, consider the fact that it may have been too bad to save.
Ergh: Page-saving. Yes you're right. Thought you meant the thread. Sorry
posted
Thank you. I was in the process of adding my admonition to the pile.
Didn't get to read the earlier discussion, though.
I doo remember Storm Saxons' question about who likes their body, though, and felt I should respond.
I love my body. It's strong and healthy. It does what I require of it. It's helped me bear and nourish two beautiful boys; it gives pleasure to me and my mate. I love the little red moles dotted on my (relatively) pale skin. I like my pale skin-- no tanning for me! I like my long, slender fingers and strong nails. I like the shape of my fingernails and toenails. I like my plain, brown hair. I even like my small breasts, and those marks left on my body by life, the scars, the stretchmarks, the little lines beginning to emerge around my eyes and mouth. I like my larger-than-proportion-would-dictate booty.
Sure, part of me would like to lose some inches in posterior, but I've always had that thought-- even when I was well and truly skinny. Therefore I don't trust that feeling. *shrug*
Partly because of the gentle ministrations of friends like CT, my ego (deserved or not) is very healthy. Even bootylicious, I still think I'm pretty hot. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
As far as women being comfortable, I think those would be some pretty special women. Everything from birth is geared to make you self-concious, from those first little "Awen't you a pwetty widdle girl?" That contrast sharply with "My what a strong boy you are!" that we know our big brothers hear.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Do you know I wasn't even aware of my body until I hit puberty, and ever since then I have been uncomfortable with it.
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote: "Are you truly comfortable with your body? Can you stand around naked in front of this guy and not feel ashamed?"
I think that's a great indicator of how to tell if you are ready for sex. So many people I know, my friends included, jump into sexual relations with men while they still feel completely uneasy about their body.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Well, it's easy to believe the adults who tell you you're pretty, until you get old enough to realize that all adults are morons.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
When I was younger -- in my late teens -- I really was happy with my body (and I know that is very unusual for teens). However, let me preface that by saying I had a very nice BODY - but not-so-nice face.
In fact, a friend in school once said to me "you know, from the neck down you could be a model" -- which, of course, forever after made me obsess about how ugly my face was... <SIGH>
But there's only so much you can do with buck teeth and freckles...
Farmgirl (and now I wish I had taken better care of that body)
posted
I can understand that S4E. I tend to feel gawky and out of place very very often, but then I just get so darn tired of feeling down and awkward that I say a great big "screw anyone who thinks badly of me" and then I feel fine. People tend to find me much more fun when I'm in those moods Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I think freckles are very attractive on women!
Farmgirl, judging from your personality, I'm sure your countenance was much more beautiful than anyone else's, and that brightens up a face more than looks ever could.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I like freckles, I miss the ones that uses to be on my face, luckily the ones on my arms are still there.
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
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OK, I am paranoid, did someone say something mean about me? Or did I say something that hurt someone else?
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I think freckles are great. I only get freckles temporarily, if I'm out in the sun frequently. Then they just fade away again in about a month. I love having freckles. I haven't had any for the past couple of years. Posts: 1990 | Registered: Feb 2001
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I've always been freckled. I usually didn't mind myself, but if someone made a negative remark about them, it would have hurt. I guess I liked to think they were cute and hoped others thought so also.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Farmgirl-- I went to a sleepover with some classmates when I was in Chrisian school. I had these cute little baby-doll pajamas to sleep in. One of the girls said to me, "That would be sexy on anybody else."
O_O I was skinny. Some years later I began to have a face that would qualify as 'pretty' but I always knew I'd never wow anybody with my body. So, I had the opposite obsession. Didn't help when, after college, one of my mother's friends who owned a store told me I should "model sportsware" since my fresh face would make up for booblessness. O_O the mind boggles at how that could ever be seen as a compliment. *shakes head*
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
I have very fair skin and have always had freckles. I have them all over my face, and I always envied my best friend who only had them across the bridge of her nose. I didn't particularly like them, but there were other things about my appearance that bothered me more - I have a rather prominent chin that REALLY bothered me when I was younger.
I was more bothered by the fact that I couldn't tan, than that I had freckles. I grew up in California, and every summer, I would get endless teasing about my lack of a tan. I tried and tried and tried, but I never did tan. Finally, my senior year, I realized it was a futile effort, and said to heck with them. It's not worth it, and tease away.
Now, though, it's another story. All of the girls that I went to school with are showing the effects of all that sun worship. I have not a single wrinkle on my face, my chest or my legs. All the years of sunblock and floppy hats have paid dividends and life is sweet. I look 10 years younger than all those sun worshippers. Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
Olivetta, I sooooo can sympathize with you....
All my life I wished I could be one of those who could "wow" with my body. Ain't never gonna happen though. That makes me a little sad, but I have mostly made my peace with it. Being happily married helps. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: I have not a single wrinkle on my face, my chest or my legs. All the years of sunblock and floppy hats have paid dividends and life is sweet. I look 10 years younger than all those sun worshippers. [Big Grin]
That's the payoff! I remember wearing shorts with my white, white legs and guys telling me, "Girl, get a tan!!" As though it was a crime to be that color! I am glad I found a man who appreciates my ghostly whiteness. He says he thinks it is feminine. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I love my white skin and the white skin of my kids (although the girls have their father's coloring and aren't nearly as pale as me - Daniel though is as ghostly as I am.)
My family history is completely free of cancer (heart disease kills us all) except for one great aunt that had skin cancer. I don't mess around in the sun, and I don't see the payoff. Tans don't look all that attractive to me - I prefer to see someone who is their natural color, and not looking like they were baked in an oven.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I've actually had patients in clinic comment that my skin is too pale and white. That usually reminds me to give my lecture about tanning and sun protection. They usually regret bringing the subject up. Posts: 1990 | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
I wonder if tans will go out of style now with all the concern about skin cancer and other damage from the sun? I know that even in just the last few years being white has become more acceptable than when I was in high school.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
That is an interesting point. Then again, smoking has been known to be bad for your health for decades now and that's still pretty "in style" blegh.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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True, true. But I also think it is not as cool as it used to be before we knew how bad for you it is.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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In my experience growing up in Oklahoma (I graduated from high school in '92) is that smoking is only "in" for a very small population of the youth. Unless you hung out with the 'stoner' crowd, smoking was definitely not cool.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Large pictures of leather-faced former sunbathers scattered around schools is a good idea.
People always gasp and say how young I look for my age. Mothers of kids my boy's age assume I'm still a twenty-something. I'm convinced it has a lot to do with sun damage in the general populace, and my lack of it. Then again, my mom was often mistaken for a teenager when she was in her 30s (my brother's school friends were mad for her) so maybe I got a bit of her 'graceful aging' gene. Here's hopin'! Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I am personally very skeptical of all these new warnings about skin cancer. I'm no sun worshipper, but I figure that if my body needs protection from the sun, it will creat it's own. Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Hm, well that's really good to hear. I'm moving to Oklahoma! Although, here in south Florida (or at least in my high school a few years ago) all the "cool kids" smoked, and if one opted not to then they were pretty much deigned uncool and, get this, immature.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Wow! I thought it had been decades since non-smokers were deemed less mature than smokers. That is sad.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Well, where I lived in Oklahoma was not a typical town, so YMMV. It was a pretty bizarre town.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Totally is. It got even worse when everyone discovered marajuana senior year. sigh. not the topic though, sorry.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I have freckles EVERYWHERE. Even in random spots, like on the palm-side of a finger. When I got that one, I thought it was dirt or something and spent a whole day trying to get it off before I realized it was permanent. My shoulders and back have permanent freckles. The once on my face tend to fade and reappear in the sun (much as my hair shifts from strawberry blonde to light blonde with continued sun exposure). I have a lot of moles. Yes, I see a dermatologist and get my moles checked regularly. Yes, I wear sunscreen. I put sunscreen on my face daily. So far I've had two moles removed. One of them, the dermatologist said, had cells that looked "funky."
o_O
I also blush very easily.
And look younger than I am.
As in, if I'm snowboarding and wearing my ski hat, 15 year old boys love to hit on me. Posts: 14745 | Registered: Dec 1999
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quote: As in, if I'm snowboarding and wearing my ski hat, 15 year old boys love to hit on me. [Mad]
That is so similar to a story my Mom tells. She was a college student skiing and a 14 year old boy started hitting on her. She's like "Just how young do you think I am?" But the wonderful thing is now in her older years she still looks so youthful.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I'm glad that it's become somewhat more acceptable to be pale. Before I started dying my hair red, people used to bug me all the time about You Would Look So Cute With A Tan. Now that I'm a fake redhead, I'm left alone about my paleness. Plus, I'm out of Florida, which has made a huge difference.
And freckles are cute. Posts: 9057 | Registered: Nov 2000
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quote: Plus, I'm out of Florida, which has made a huge difference.
Haha, I know that feeling. Being pale in Florida is like walking barefoot in the snow. People look at you as if you're this crazed lunatic.
On another matter, are those artificial tanning salons worse or better for you than real tanning? I've heard both.
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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I always thought the artificial tanning salons were still really bad for you. I'm not sure either, though.
Posts: 9057 | Registered: Nov 2000
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Ok, due to being out of school and oh so bored, I looked it up
quote: Heading to a tanning bed is just as dangerous as tanning outdoors.
Tanning beds release dangerously high levels of ultraviolet (UV) radiation, which can cause premature aging of the skin and increase risk for skin cancer.
Short-term indoor tanning can cause red, itchy, dry skin.
Long-term indoor tanning can cause sagging, wrinkled skin.
Tanning beds can also burn your skin and eyes and damage your immune system.
posted
I was severely sunburned as a child. (Think screaming in the shower.) I never have fully recovered from that and when I get a lot of sun there are patches that tan darker than others. Lucky me. Severe risk of skin cancer, wheeee! Now, everytime anything even looks a bit weird I'm ordered to have it removed. I don't mind cause I'm all about prevention, but I sure wish my mom had put sun screen on me that day. I was only out for an hour, maybe two at the most.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Let me say something based on personal observation: We " Cariocas" (People born and raised in Rio de Janeiro) like to sunbathe a lot. The beaches are always full, most days are really sunny, etc. And it was proved on researches that our skin-cancer rate isn't significantly higher than in other cities. Even european or american ones. So. I'm with porteiro_head on that. Your body will create natural protection, given tive.
(of course, not being the 'normal' kind of carioca, I don't go much to the beach, even though it isn't far from home, and I burn preety bad in the sun)
Posts: 1785 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
PSI, that's horrible! Now the next time I shower I will have your screams in my head!
I guess it varies. My mother is on chemo (for her arthritus) and if she goes in the sun for fifteen minutes she gets very ill, but even before that she was very fair and burned a lot. My sister is the same, but my dad and I are fairly dark.
edit: poor speller
[ August 07, 2004, 06:41 PM: Message edited by: from Cythera ]
Posts: 117 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
As a young lad I found myself enjoying the festivities of the local water pavilion. Being a boy of small sense I partook but once of the sacred sun screen in the morning of my little adventure. As the following day dawned I found myself a new patron host for those irritating boils, upon my shoulder seemed to be the hot spot of substandard-skin society, so much so that they had decided it would be most magnificent to have boils upon other boils.
It was not until the passage of two fortnights that I was able to bare my weight through shoulder straps without disrupting the boil’s rather heated party, unfortunately I was employed in a rough company of adolescent miscreants for the purpose of lifting heavy things. For the addle-mindedness of youth, a high price is demanded.
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