My worst nightmare is triplets, 'cause there's no way I'd be able to deliver them without a section, and they'd be in the NICU when they were born for sure. I don't think that I could handle that, emotionally.
Luckily I think there's something like a 1 in 2 million chance of me having triplets with no in-vitro or other fertilization assistance technology used and no family history of multiples.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I was looking up the odds of multiples recently...the population statistics are skewed because of the fertility drugs and other similar methods, but the odds of having *natural* twins is 1 in 90, natural triplets is 1 in 8,100. Your odds of natural quads is 1 in 729,000 without fertility treatments.
Since I'm not on fertility drugs and there hasn't been a twin in my family for at least 400 years on either side (that's how far we've done genealogy so far) then I'd say my odds of multiples are extremely low. Really, it's a very good thing. I had a hard enough time with just one!
My biggest risk, coming in at somewhere under .4%, would be identical twins because they're a fluke rather than a genetic predisposition.
Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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I personally have found that many proponents of natural childbirth are very judgemental about it and ill-informed about the many reasons it might not be possible for some mothers (please note that I am not referring to anyone here). People have said some very ugly things to me when they found out that I had a Section - people who didn't know anything about my pregnancy at all.
Aerin and I would both be dead if not for medical intervention. It's hard for me to talk about the specifics, but I would have had problems even if I had carried Aerin to term, due to the placement of Baby B's remains. I have an excellent chance of carrying the next baby to term because of the fantastic advances in perinatology. Yes, women gave birth naturally for thousands of years, but let's not forget how many thousands of women like me died in childbirth or had terrible complications for the rest of their lives. It would be wonderful if no one needed medical intervention, but since so many of us do, it's wonderful that it's here for us. And partaking of it does not make us failures or bad mothers.
However, nothing makes me angrier than non-necessary inductions before term. It infuriates me that there are voluntary inductions at 35 weeks. I fought so hard to give Aerin as much time as I could and I know how vital it is for babies to get all the time they need in the womb.
BTW, not all multiples end up in the NICU, even triplets. There were triplets in Aerin's NICU and they were only there for 2 days before moving up the the PCN. They were 34-weekers who were all breathing room air from birth. They were all home within 2 weeks.
Posts: 3037 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Multiples are all over in my family: my mom is a twin (she has a twin brother), she also has younger twin brothers, her twin has twin boys, one of them has twins, my other cousin has twins, and my dad's brother has twins.
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Brinestone, only the fraternal twins on your mom's side count-- but it does sound like you have enough of a family history for an increased chance of multiples.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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That's true -- fraternal twinning is only hereditary through the woman because it's her body that has to ovulate twice. The fact that your mom's twin brother had twins means that he married a woman who was prone to having twins. (He can't make his wife's body decide to drop another egg.) The fact that his twin son had twins means that he also married a woman prone to having twins.
Still, that's a heck of a family tree!
Oh, and in case anyone was interested, I found out that your odds of having quadruplets that are made up of two sets of identical twins is 1 in 25-36 million. You know, just in case you were wondering...
Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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You can be induced and do without an epidural. My sister in law made it through with the pictocin. Hurt like hell, but she did it.
I know I tend to get overly defensive about interventions because I have gotten a lot of flack over that decision. I think that the goal of giving birth is to have a healthy baby and a healthy mom and whatever is the best way to do that, should be done.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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I think we women all need to get to a point where we are secure enough in our own choices that we can support each other even when our choices are different.
I mean, induction, section, VBAC, natural childbirth, waterbirth, formula-fed, breast-fed, co-sleeping, cry-it-out, Ferberizing, or whatever choices we make for ourselves and our babies, the important thing is we are all mothers, right? What we teach our kids about how to live in the world and treat others and how we treat others ourselves are the important things. My mom doesn't lord it over me because she had 4 kids with no pain medication. In fact, she encourages me to get what I want and need, because she wants the best for me (and is a little jealous I am able to get epidurals!) I have a sister-in-law who exclusively formula feeds. I (almost) exclusively breastfeed. We don't argue about it because we each know that we are both capable of making the best decision for our families (unlike the other sister-in-law, who apparently caused some friction with s-i-l 1 when she made a big deal out of her choice to b/f as opposed to s-i-l 1's choice to f/f.) I am working on being less judgemental all around, and this board is very helpful in that regard; we all seem pretty good at it most of the time.
But you should see some of the parenting boards I am on; whoo-ee! Those ladies can get waaaay judgemental. It's pretty sad.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I am very grateful to live at a time when there are so many options and so much information (even though it does make things kind of overwhelming) about childbirth. I really like that something as intense (and I suspect as intensely personal) as childbirth and childrearing can happen in such a variety of ways. I really love Hatrack for the open-mindedness and supportive nature of the people here. I really like being able to ask questions of you wonderful ladies who I know will give me not only reasonable and honest answers, but such a wide variety of them.
And thanks for the suggestions for cold remedies! My congestion (thankfully) is clearing up really quickly. Now I will just be stuck with the lingering cough from hell (which is actually not caused by congestion). I have hypersensitive lungs for which I normally take asthma medication (and during colds I end up taking a steroid inhaler like Advair to eliminate the cough that I get that hangs on forever), but went off all that (at my doctor's recommendation) before getting pregnant. In the past (without the steroid), I'd sometimes cough for over a month (before using the steroid that would clear it up with about 1-2 weeks). I really don't want to do that, so I'll try some of the less severe cough options for a couple weeks and if I'm still coughing, I'll ask my doctor for further advice.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Are you seeing a pulmonologist or asthma specialist?
I have always been told that in the case of asthma medications it is almost always much better to treat the asthma than not while pregnant, to ensure the baby gets enough oxygen to thrive. Your OB may not know all the research that has been done and your specialist may not either, but if you can get them to work together they may be able to come up with something that is fairly safe during pregnancy and will be fairly effective for you.
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I did a bunch of research on asthma medication, because I was on Advair during my whole pregnancy. My allergist tried to switch me to something class-B when I went off birth control, but it didn't work and I went back to the Advair. Basically, untreated asthma is equivilent to smoking while you're pregnant -- the baby doesn't get the oxygen it needs. Advair is class-C, which means it should only be used when the risks of not using it are greater than the risks of using it. Coughing is one thing, but if you are short of breath or wheezing talk to your doctor about options.
Edit: interestingly enough, I might have been able to go off the Advair once I actually was pregnant. I am one of those lucky people whose pregnancy affected her asthma for the better -- I've been asthma drug-free for six months for the first time in over 20 years.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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My doctor says he sees it in about thirds-- 1/3 of women have their asthma get better, 1/3 stay the same, 1/3 get worse.
I get worse. The only time I need treatment other than a rescue inhaler is when I'm pregnant. I pretty much have my dad's nebulizer on permanent loan during pregnancies (now that I live where I can; in TX I just wound up in the ER for breathing treatments all the time.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Ewww, ludosti, my sympathies. Coughs are no fun. Hope your doctor(s) can find something to help...
Thanks to everyone for their input on how long to stay at work. It's so good to hear stories from people who've been there/ done that.
kq, I was actually very concerned that I would have problems with high blood pressure like your relative did. In 2003-2004 I was on medication for it; I lost a lot of weight (60 lbs., approximately 1/3 of my total weight) and got in good physical condition, and it didn't help one little bit. Then one of my doctors (I forget who) suggested that I might want to try a birth control pill without estrogen. I switched to the minipill and just like magic, my bp normalized. It's been normal since 2005, but clearly my blood pressure is sensitive to hormones, so I was worried about pregnancy.
So I've been monitoring it at home every day, and also taking a baby aspirin (on my doctor's advice), since there's some research that shows that helps to prevent preeclampsia. But everything is looking good so far (I'm at week 24 now), and at my sonogram last week, the doctor said the uterine doppler showed I was at low risk for preeclampsia. Yay! But they're still monitoring me monthly to make sure the baby is growing on schedule. Which means lots of sonograms, which I love! (As long as everything keeps looking good...)
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jun 2005
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KQ, I think what you said about supporting each other was beautiful. I think it's the nicest thought I've ever heard. I wish my sis could be less judgemental and just a little more accepting without putting her 2 cents in everywhere. I have really enjoyed this thread. It's made me feel more secure in my self and my choices for my kids. We're all different and will all have different ways that are best for our fams. If the whole world could be more like Hatrack, we'd all be in a happier place! I love you all!
Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Yes, the asthma medication was prescribed by my allergist/immunologist/pulmonologist (who I saw shortly before we started trying for our baby and spoke with about my allergies and lungs in relation to being pregnant). I do not technically have asthma, but a similar condition called (iirc) bronchial hyper-reactivity (basically my lungs respond to allergies and colds by getting inflamed in a similar manner to asthma, though much less drastic - no wheezing, shortness of breath, just nasty coughing that tears everything up and doesn't seem to go away on its own). I have actually been doing really well since going off my medications in January. This is the first time the old issues have started to re-surface, which is why I figure I'll give it a few weeks (to see if things will clear up enough on their own) before calling my allergist for suggestions (I figure it'd be easier to approach him first and have him talk with my OB if need be).
Edit: I'm glad to hear that Advair is a Class-C (I hadn't yet looked it up), so that if worse comes to worse, it could be an option. As much as I dislike taking medication (this month I get to experiment with going off my anti-nausea meds), it really is sometimes necessary.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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All right, I totally like the idea of not judging, but something has been bugging me today and I'm wondering what you think of it...I guess that I just can't think of any way that this particular mom is making good choices. I feel bad, because the reason we were even talking on the phone was because she was offering my son and I a ride somewhere next week, which is nice of her. But I was so uncomfortable listening to her get angry with her son in the background. She yelled at him and called him names, sometimes cussing (damn). Then she told me, with him in earshot, that she'd consider her job well done if he didn't go to jail because there was no hope for him. It didn't even sound like she was joking. I know he's 3, but he can understand things, especially tone. Then she apologized in advance if he called my son a butthead while we are in the car next week.
I don't know, it's just been making me feel weird since I got off the phone with her. I hate to be judgmental, like you say, but this just seems wrong. If this is just a different mothering choice, then this may be one I have to accept from a distance.
Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Abuse crosses the line. Abuse is not a different mothering choice-- it's something that needs to be educated and treated to make it go away. It sounds like this mother is overwhelmed and needs help to me, because I think swearing at your child and calling him names (we've all yelled but if the yelling is excessive it can count too, depending on how often) crosses the line to verbal/emotional abuse.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Hopefully this is not typical behavior for this mom, but an error in judgment caused by lots of details we don't know. I hope your ride together next week goes better and is more comfortable for all of you.
Like kq said, abuse is not just a different choice in mothering. Hopefully this situation is not something that happens constantly and could be considered abuse.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I had my appointment yesterday. I'm still pregnant. Only a week and a half to go before the scheduled c-section, so I think I can make it. I'm still working on making my body go into labor though, so I'll let you know if anything works.
I missed out on the whole multiple birth discussion yesterday, but I wanted to add my input! kq, to scare you, my mom had natural triplets [2 boys (identical) and 1 girl (fraternal)] even though there is absolutely no history of multiples in my family anywhere. To make you feel better, although she did have a c-section, she carried full term (she doesn't remember whether it was 39 or 40 weeks) and the only reason the babies stayed in the hospital for 5 days was because my mom wasn't emotionally ready to go home yet! There was absolutely no time in the NICU at all. The smallest weighed 4lb 11oz, the biggest 5lb 11oz, if I remember correctly. Triplet birth doesn't have to be scary. Having triplets at home is another story! That is scary!
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Yay divaesfani - the end is in sight! I hope everything will go really well for you! I'll be eagerly awaiting any good results on making labor start.
*giant sigh* I apparently still need anti-nausea meds. Going without them for 24 hours meant I was throwing up again. I was so hopeful that I had made it past all this, but I guess not. Oh well, maybe next month.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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ludosti, sorry about the nausea. It's not fun!
Here is an interesting news story around here: Blizzard Babies. We purposely went off birth control so technically we shouldn't be included, but my baby will always be considered a blizzard baby in Colorado!
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Hmm. I certainly didn't mean to step on any toes with my last post regarding induction, and I'm thinking perhaps I did. I was just trying to explain my own POV, which I think I made pretty clear.
I think I'll return to my regular Hatrack hiatus now.
Good luck with your pregnancies, everyone. Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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ludosti, when I was on the anti-nausea meds with Emma, I got so sick of the side effects that when it started to lighten up, I found I could take half a dose and still get the anti-nausea effect without as many side effects. Maybe if you're feeling better but still need them, you can talk to your doc about lowering the dose on a trial basis?
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Last night I finally had to throw up before I could sleep.
And there isn't even anything on tv. Usually I can veg out with The X-Files until I fall asleep (knowing almost the whole series by heart as I do) but it's not on any channel tonight. They're all showing really stupid movies instead. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Boon
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Sorry to hear about all the nausea...I don't have any.
I'm sleeping a lot though. A LOT. Eleven to fourteen hours a night, and sometimes an hour or two nap in the afternoons.
I'm also seeing a chiropractor. It helps a lot with the lower back and groin pains. (I call them the "I'm being stabbed in the crotch with a very short ice pick pains".)
And I've found a homebirth midwife who is willing to come to some doctor appointments with me and then "catch" the baby here at home or attend me in the hospital as a doula. I feel like I have a lot of options right now, and most of the pressure is off.
My husband even says he doesn't have time to duplicate my research, so he'll just have to trust that I'll make the best, safest decision for me and the baby.
Now, if only I weren't having reservations about calling my mother and telling her my plans...much less calling her when I'm in labor...LOL.
I tried to convince her that homebirth is not that big a risk, and offered to show her studies and books, but she's just too scared to even hear me.
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So, out of curiosity, how far along is everyone here? I've figured out a few of you, like Boon...
I'm guessing May 28th (irregular cycles and a wonky BBT chart make this difficult to know for sure). That puts me at 5 weeks, 2 days. Barely pregnant. No symptoms...yet...and I'm quite happy that way. Some people suggest that having the morning sickness is reassuring, but I mostly found it nauseating. Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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About 8 weeks here. And I had m/s from about 4 weeks. You take advantage of the non-barfy time you have...
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Yay Boon!!! I'm so glad you found a midwife and most of the pressure is now off!
for not falling asleep kq! I know how awful that is! I'm currently at the lowest dosage on the anti-nausea meds (I take one in the morning and one at night before bed), which I guess makes me feel a little better. The only side-effect I experience is constipation (which I knows tends to happen with pregnancy anyway), so now my doc has me taking a stool softener also (since regardless of how much fiber I eat and how much I drink, it's still there). I'm just really tired of pills all the time.
Christine, I'm at 28 weeks. Not to scare you, but I felt great up until 6 weeks. I really hope you don't get sick!!
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:Originally posted by ludosti: Christine, I'm at 28 weeks. Not to scare you, but I felt great up until 6 weeks. I really hope you don't get sick!!
LOL...I am 100% sure I will get sick in about 1 or 2 weeks. I got very sick (terrible migraines and horrible stomach things) with my son and with the baby I lost at 9 weeks this summer. I suppose it can't hurt to hope, but mostly I'm just bracing myself! Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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Flu or pregnancy? The eternal question. Though two of my youngsters have been chucking this week, and I also might be anxious because of someone quitting the office.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Well, I'm hanging, we can hang out together. It's too early for an OTC test. I was uncharacteristically tired today. But not as nauseated. My spinbarkeit sign came sooner than I would have expected, but since it persisted for a couple of days, I think it's less likely I ovulated early, which would be the main reason to suspect. Besides the nausea, anxiety and fatigue.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Wow, such big babies! Don't worry, I'll bring the hatrack average down. My son was 6 lb. 5 oz. and I expect this one to fall on the small side too. My husband and I have perfect large adult genes, but the family birth statistics show we do it the right way -- have 'em small and grow them on the outside.
BTW, I hate being pregnant. My morning, afternoon, evening, and night sickness started yesterday and probably won't ease up for a month or two. I have a dull, persistent headache that is always my biggest pregnancy complaint. (I know, not as glamorous as throwing up or fainting, but it hurts like hell when it crosses the line into migraine territory.) I managed to forget how bad this was. I think my body does that on purpose to trick me into wanting to get pregnant again. Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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I have a case of intestinal bloat that is making my bra uncomfortable. Still don't know if it is germ or baby related. It's that horrible conundrum of "do I eat? Then my blood sugar won't be low. But if I eat and nothing changes, I've just added to the grog."
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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My problem is "Do I eat (or drink some water?) Then I'm not shaky and about to faint from dehydration and low blood sugar. But if I eat (or drink water) I'm going to puke. Can I make it to 3 o' clock?"
Also, JEFF STILL HAS NOT FOUND MY MATERNITY CLOTHES. That includes all my maternity garments. I'm rapidly outgrowing my regular garments and the last pair of fat pants that fits. (No, I still have not gained and am actually still 1 lb. under my pre-pregnancy weight-- it fluctuates but is holding steady at less than I was.)
He had better remember where he put them by this weekend or there's gonna be trouble (and ripped underwear!)
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Christine - I'm really sorry to hear you've hit the nasty sick and headache stage. Hopefully it'll pass quickly!!
Awww kq Hopefully he'll remember tonight where he put them. I was lucky my maternity garments arrived in the nick of time (I'd ordered them online since I could never make it when distribution was open) - I was getting really, really, really uncomfortable and was so thrilled to come home to that little brown box.
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I couldn't afford them the first time around.
Or the second time around, honestly; I asked for them for Christmas from my mother-in-law (which was embarassing, but I really needed them and they are EXPENSIVE.)
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Yeah, I wasn't happy about the cost, but I am glad that prices now are about half what they were 10 years ago (and my normal ones were in such bad shape I was needing to buy some anyway).
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Yeah, ditto that. We both have been putting off new ones, buying one piece at a time as others absolutely fall apart. We finally decided to both get new garments completely next year, after tax season (and after baby comes.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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My husband and I buy a few pieces at a time as well. Part of the problem is the when to buy new ones. I gained weight and stretched my old ones as I gained. I thought about buying new ones, but I wanted to lose weight and figured it would be a waste if I succeeded. I then lost 30 pounds and was hoping for another ten when I got pregnant. Since the garments were already all stretched out, no point buying new ones. Now I am nursing and haven't lost the baby weight yet. I HATE the nursing tops and I gained 3 cup sizes, so the ones I am wearing are ultra stretched out. But, I am hoping that in a few months when bin is weaned, my chest will go back down. And then I will buy new ones. Hopefully before the tattered shreds stop holding together.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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So far, I really like being pregnant. Much more than I expected to. Baby Xerxes is very, very active, which is fun. Kick kick kick kick kick kick kick punch fliip.
My mother-in-law has been a huge help in the maternity clothes department--she's made me 6 jumpers in a variety of fabrics. I'm not big enough for them yet, but I think they'll be indispensable in December & January!
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Going without them for 24 hours meant I was throwing up again. I was so hopeful that I had made it past all this, but I guess not. Oh well, maybe next month.
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