posted
Has there ever been anyone with a personality that Hatrack unanimously was happy to see go? Even BALDAR had his defenders, and I think EVERYONE gets defended at some point, even if it is just by Xaposert.
Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
There was one poster some time back who was unanimously boo'ed-- if I recall correctly, she had personal ties to another Jatraquera, and had hacked her yahoo account to send out vicious emails or something like that.
No one (not even Tres) defended her, and lots of people asked her to leave. I think that has to do with the fact that her behavior (as opposed to ideas, presentation, etc) were absolutely right out.
[ January 12, 2005, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: Scott R ]
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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posted
I keep trying to goad TomD. into telling me to leave. . . I think I'm getting somewhere with my baby-eating jokes. . .
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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quote: Has there ever been anyone with a personality that Hatrack unanimously was happy to see go? Even BALDAR had his defenders, and I think EVERYONE gets defended at some point, even if it is just by Xaposert.
posted
"We even had a deliberate and obvious troll post a goodbye thread and he got people asking him to stay."
Well, yes. But that's more because some people on Hatrack are seriously co-dependent than because we all actually wanted him to stick around. j/k
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
Actually I think Noemon, in particular, is good about saying, "I don't have anything in particular to say at this moment but I want you to know I read your post and appreciated it." I try to remember to do stuff like that myself, but it doesn't always pop into my mind as a high priority particularly when I'm skimming in between projects at work.
I would agree that well written posts that everyone agrees with tend to get the least feedback at the time, unless it is over a *hot* issue.
I personally have been surprised recently on two threads that I have posted on, because I *did* get positive feedback with people saying that they agreed with my assessments in most cases. I'm one of those people who would probably post anyway as an exercise in expressing my thoughts and seeing if I can formulate them coherently enough to myself. But I can see how others would get discouraged.
Maybe we need a Positive Post feedback program? I know we have a lot of those "rate this post" kinds of things that can be done in UBB disabled in this forum. And there are good reasons as well as bad for disablement, but that is probably the kind of positive feedback more reticient posters need.
quote: I3, this is the only part of your post I disagree with. Witness Jonathan’s “Fare Thee Well” thread. It’s longer than some long-term members’ farewell threads, and unlike some long term members’ threads I don’t think he got a single “Don’t let the door hit your rump on the way out” post. We even had a deliberate and obvious troll post a goodbye thread and he got people asking him to stay. It’s the reason goodbye threads are such effective pleas for attention. Hatrack will beg anyone to stay.
Again, a fair assessment, though one based on threads I missed. I tried to avoid definitive statements in my post since I was providing my impressions, how it "feels" to be new at Hatrack.
Thanks to all for the further requests for my return.
And I missed you too, Kama. Posts: 720 | Registered: Oct 2004
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Okay, well despite several attempts I can't figure out how to reply to that. Just to say that you being gone made it a lot easier for me to leave Hatrack when I did. I wouldn't have been disinterested in your leaving. But maybe it happened in a thread that due to the title I never read. Like the hug thread.
P.S. This assumes you were posting as yourself. Were you the anonymous poster that wrote "We"?
[ January 12, 2005, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Trisha the Severe Hottie ]
Posts: 666 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
I have to say that I see a lot of people saying things about feeling left out or ignored that I didn't know were going on here. I see a lot of behavior that I don't like, from a lot of people. My strategy is usually to ignore it. I guess I started that when I posted my opinion in a thread early on and got a "that's a stupid opinion, don't you have a better reason to think that?" kind of reply. I decided that there are some people here that are just like that. But there are also people here that are really cool and funny, so I stay to talk to them. I accept everyone for who and what they are, and there aren't people I "like" more than others.
I guess this is an apology for being clueless that others felt like this. I'm sorry if I've inadvertently hurt anyone by any action or inaction, posting in reply to them or not posting.
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posted
Is there anyone here who really feels like they're in the "in" group? Sure, we could all name names, but I honestly wonder if the people we'd name picture themselves the same way as we do.
That said, can I add my own Hatrack angst to the thread? Leaving has been on my mind for the last few weeks. (No, this is not a ploy in order to get people to ask me to stay ) I love Hatrack, but sometimes it makes me feel very very stupid. I don't often post in political threads, and have left threads I'm enjoying because I feel like I can't keep up. And once the conversation moves into higher territory, my piddly little observations go unnoticed and aren't responded to. I dunno. I think I need a more mediocre forum.
posted
I have zero problem posting in threads I don't know anything about or giving my opinion, because that's the number one way I learn things. Seriously. I've learned more about stuff I don't know about by just giving my uninformed opinion and letting everyone tell me what's what.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
I feel like I'm in the "in" group. I just don't feel like I belong there -- I just got grandfathered in some time long ago.
I rarely take part in political threads, because my knowledge is so limited, and thus my ability to separate information from spin is limited as well. I think I'm reasonably decent at deduction, but when the "facts" are not stipulated, deduction can become useless. Thus, when I do contribute, I'm more likely to ask a (leading) question than give an answer. And even my "leasing" doesn't lead to an answer I already have; instead it's designed to lead to a discussion, but usually fails to do so.
I generally won't get into religious discussions, because giving an opinion on a single issue often boxes me in with others who may have that same opinion but for different reasons, and then I'm held to account over those reasons with which I may or may not agree. I also feel that more assumptions are made about other opinions I hold because most people who hold the one hold the other.
[/Hatrack angst]
By the way, there have been new members in the recent past that I do trust. I won't list them, lest I leave someone off I do trust. But if you arrived here with a smile and no apparent agenda, you're probably still on my trustable list.
Yeah, this thread is nothing like how I thought it started.
posted
I'm in some groups, out of others, and not sure on some. Just like in real life. The best way to have a friend is to be a friend. Works with the word enemy also.
P.S. PSI is coming out
[ January 12, 2005, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: Trisha the Severe Hottie ]
Posts: 666 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
I don't feel like I'm in any "in" group, but I've been told on at least two occasions that I am. By people who evidently don't think they are. I certainly don't feel like I'm in an "out" group, but usually I feel somewhere in between the two.
Maybe somebody should bump Slash's "Reasons You Should Leave Hatrack" thread.
I had a very nice newbiehood, assuming it's over. Everybody was very welcoming and polite and friendly. I even had Ralphie and Aretee telling me in Parachat that I really ought to post more. (My only real bitterness is that Belle used to give everybody cookies, but she never did this for me . . . ) I don't know if Hatrack has changed since then.
My personal suspicion, which I admit might simply be a lack of insight/empathy on my part, is that Hatrack is generally not rude to people who are nice when they arrive. I have seen people go out of their way to be very welcoming to some new posters, and recently, too. (It's a shame new posters who are welcomed never feel compelled to rush to Hatrack's defense in threads like these . . . wonder what that means . . . ) In my experience, when we are mocking or dismissive of somebody, it is almost always because they came in being rude and insulting.
I agree with rivka's agreement with Ralphie. :-p Anne Kate, I love how genuinely good-hearted you are. That is not any kind of left-handed praise: I love to chat with you when you have time, and to have conversations with you. I love to newiefish in Parachat with you (part of why I bristle at the suggestion that we are unkind to newbies). However, if everyone here were as nice as you all the time, I would probably lose interest. We have all types of people here, and I see that as a strength. I don't think love generally wears the edges off of initially obnoxious posters. I think sometimes getting smacked around a bit, figuratively speaking, can.
random thoughts here, in no particular order
It may be that the ease I felt is related to the fact that I never belonged to another forum before Hatrack. I had no expectation of anything different from what I got. I expected to be seen as an outsider at first, and I didn't find this off-putting or offensive. I expected there to e inside jokes I didn't get, and so I wasn't annoyed by them. I just tried to pay attention and figure out what they were.
It may also be that the value of a community is proportional to the effort that it takes to belong. Or maybe not. I will think on this.
Intelligenc3, I noticed you posts and always enjoyed them. I'm sorry that Hatrack was not for you, and I apologize if anything I did was off-putting to you. I wonder if the thread you were describing was Squicky's thread that began with a quotation of something I had said, where I took exception to being quoted out of context. If so, my complaint was not because I think Hatrack is all things--though clearly, I do find value here.
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quote: I don't think love generally wears the edges off of initially obnoxious posters. I think sometimes getting smacked around a bit, figuratively speaking, can.
This is a wise statement. Icarus
quote: It may be that the ease I felt is related to the fact that I never belonged to another forum before Hatrack. I had no expectation of anything different from what I got. I expected to be seen as an outsider at first, and I didn't find this off-putting or offensive. I expected there to e inside jokes I didn't get, and so I wasn't annoyed by them. I just tried to pay attention and figure out what they were.
Another wise statement. This is how I felt coming in. I was in awe of the community feel of Hatrack. I lurked a bit first, taking note of the real bonds here between people. It wasn't long before I knew I wanted to be a part of it.
Several times when someone comes in, guns blazing, acting obnoxious, I think to myself that they haven't observed this place and taken note of what a unique and lovey place it is. They think it is "just another forum".
There have been times when I didn't feel comfortable here. I have had to distance myself at times. But I come back. Where else would I go, where forums are concerned? There is no other place I know of anything like this. Hatrack is far from perfect, but in the wasteland that is cyber-space, this is an oasis, a utopia. My 2 cents anyway.
posted
I think love does - of the initially-abrasive posters who reformed and stayed, it wasn't because they were smacked around enough, but because they were "shown the light" and it became worth it. For instance, David Bowles.
Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
The smacking doesn't have to be rude or cruel. It can be done in a caring way--with the intent to show the light. I have seen Tom do an excellent job with this.
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quote: ...the initially-abrasive posters who reformed and stayed, it wasn't because they were smacked around enough, but because they were "shown the light" and it became worth it.
I was smacked around... Thank you for it (literally, no sarcasm).
Posts: 2978 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
I really am saddened by people feeling left out or unwelcome here even though they are offering things back to the community. My own first few years at the 'Rack were also marked by a near-complete lack of enthusiasm for my brilliance and wit. *grin
It was about a year and a half before I really felt I had made some friends here. The relationships built rather slowly, but strongly. I do remember quite clearly the frustration at feeling ignored, even when what I had to say was both relevant and, IMO, important to the matter at hand. That hurt. Still does, when it happens.
There are many more people here now than there were when I first came, and I think that exacerbates the likelihood of getting lost in the shuffle, if nobody already knows you.
[ January 12, 2005, 03:11 PM: Message edited by: Glaphyra the Righteous ]
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posted
I hope this doesn't come off wrong, Ic, but I don't think of you as a cliqester- for good or bad. But I definitely think of you as a pillar of Hatrack. And you are a teacher, which builds my respect of you. Even though we disagree a lot. I don't mean I defer to you because you are a teacher, but that I think of you as a generous person because I know you made that choice.
quote: In my experience, when we are mocking or dismissive of somebody, it is almost always because they came in being rude and insulting.
I don't know, my husband registered once. He happened to pick a thread that Leto was dominating at the time.
My brother in law also joined and got called on needing evidence for some assertion or otherwise not meeting the Hatrack standard of evidence.
I think another factor for both of these guys is they have a lot of force to their personalities when you meet them, and the interaction when it is just words is entirely different. We already know that a disproportional number of 'rackers are interoverts.
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Hey, I've got a forceful personality, and I'm still around. There's plenty of room on Hatrack for the arrogant. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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Yeah Trisha, Leto developed a bit of a habit of letting loose with both barrels on people that didn't really deserve it there toward the end. Probably scared off more than a few potential Hatrackers that way, I'm afraid.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
Sorry. I forget to plug back in and out. And me who had only one handle for like four and a half years! This is one of the Catholic saints of my birthday, and it was totally tongue-in-cheek.
Didn't realize I was still wearing these clothes until ElJay pointed it out in another thread.
Excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable. Posts: 93 | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
Oh, I assumed it was Multiple Handle Personality Disorder -- since it is something that plagues other fora as well.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I've only hung out at a few others. One had a draconian policy against multiple handles (I had to get permission for Eve and I to use the forum from the same IP address). The others were all for games, and you had a single login you pretty much had to use.
But you're right, that's probably the better description.
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posted
"Leto developed a bit of a habit of letting loose with both barrels on people that didn't really deserve it there toward the end."
*nod* John got away with more than most posters, mainly because a lot of us knew his personal history. For people who didn't know much about him, and weren't as inclined to cut him some slack, it must have seemed like outrageous hypocrisy.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
I feel like I've been pushing the line a bit with swearing and discussions of sex lately. It hasn't seemed very out of keeping with other stuff I've been seeing here (Tatiana actually called someone a "dick", which is probably further than I'd go here, and I certainly wasn't the only one going beyond the user agreement in the bra thread a couple of weeks ago), but it definitely does violate the user agreement, I think. Have I made anyone feel uncomfortable with that kind of stuff?
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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