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Liz, I'm so sorry you're going through all this! I wish I had some words of wisdom, but all I can say is feel free to come here and talk about it any time.
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So this weekend I have to buy maternity clothes -- no big deal except for the first time I have to look NICE in maternity clothes. I usually just go for oversized sweatshirts and figure I'll get my body back eventually.
But I've got my first book signing scheduled right before Christmas and I need to look nice -- professional, even. So allow me to spend a moment venting about clothings...
First, the pants. Pants don't fit me anyway. This isn't new. I have big thighs. I'm not ashamed of them, but clothing manufacturers seem to think I should be. Worse, I don't get a cute pregnancy belly. I just kind of get a lot of fat in the middle where there didn't used to be any. My cute hourglass waist goes away (Hey, I got some good parts, too!) but I don't need the HUGE allowance they give for people whoa re expecting triplets or something. (All right, maybe not.)
Then, there's the shirts. Really, they're cute. They kind of cinch beneath the breasts and then cover everything below no matter how big it is. Two problems -- first, no one seems to think you can have a DD cup size and a 34 strap size. That is to say, the bigger sizes account for more fat, not more boob. They just don't fit. Besides, the necklines tend to plunge a little too far for the bras I'm comfortable wearing. (Ok I admit it, I'm still in nursing bras! But I only quit nursing six months ago and now they're changing size and...excuse excuse excuse...)
I'm done venting now. Back to your regularly scheduled discussions. Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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JC Penny online has some nice oxford-type shirts that work well for "business casual" and don't have the gathers or piping under the bust. Or at least they did 2 years ago. That's where I found most of my professional looking maternity clothes.
I found a few other websites that had really nice business dressy clothes, but they were very pricy.
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*nods* JCP has some stuff that can work quite well for business. And sometimes it even goes on sale.
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(Oh, also: I haven't worn a non-nursing bra for more than a couple of weeks in, oh, about 3.5 years. I just keep buying bigger ones.)
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Good luck shopping for maternity clothes!! I can't imagine how difficult it would be to find nice business appropriate maternity clothes. I lucked out and worked in a casual environment, so it was a little bit easier. Pants really are the worst thing to try to find. Perhaps you can go with skirts instead (I think they're easier to find and wear - especially as you get to the end of your pregnancy). I had the opposite problem with tops - I really haven't gotten any bigger at all (I'm still wearing the same size bra I started in). I got quite a few things from Motherhood (including all my "nice" pieces) and JCP has some nice things (though they didn't have anything that fit me). I also bought some things off eBay (and kq was nice enough to send me some things she found in my size). I really hope you can find some good things that will work for you!
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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I'll check out JC Penny's online. In the store (at least here) they have about 3 racks of clothes so I don't really bother.
I didn't think of Target. I go there all the time...I'll have to check it out.
A skirt occurred to me, but when it's cold and windy they get drafty and uncomfortable. When Spring comes around (assuming I still need some clothes for appearances) I'll probably go to skirts.
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*perks up* Book signing? What's going on with that, Christine? Sorry if I've missed posts about it elsewhere...
I haven't had much trouble with maternity pants...I LOVE them. I love the big stretchy waists. I never want to go back to regular pants. But I absolutely sympathize about the tops. For all the yak yak about how women's boobs get bigger in pregnancy, I sure had a hard time finding clothes that fit my chest and weren't enormous in the shoulders, sleeves, & belly. What I found that work best for me (at least so far) are misses size XL knit shirts with 3/4 length sleeves. They're still a little roomy in the shoulders, but they stretch over my chest & belly without the sleeves covering my hands. I also like jumpers, which are kind of hard to find, at least around here. My mother in law made me some, but they're still too big. And kind of weird to wear around the house, while being impractical for doctor's visits. (I'm glad I thought that one through before wearing a jumper for a sonogram!)
Thanks again, everyone, for the kind words. And thank you especially ketchupqueen and dkw: those are exactly the kinds of stories I need to hear...about women who went close to term, and women who didn't have everything perfectly ready 3 weeks before going into labor!
I just hired someone to come clean my house this weekend. That makes me feel a LOT better. And I've been doing some online shopping, and my mom is coming at the beginning of next week to do some baby laundry/ nursery prep. I really don't like having to rely on my mom to help me, but she's doing it with the right attitude, at least so far...not too much "I told you you should have been ready before this!" Posts: 833 | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote: (I'm glad I thought that one through before wearing a jumper for a sonogram!)
I wore one to my last. It was perfect, since they make me undress from the waist down for sonograms... Just pull it off and keep the top on, then no hopping around the doctor's office pulling my pants back on!
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Oh, and YAY for someone cleaning your house! I think I might do that when it comes close to time. Jeff will be working 80 hrs./wk. and I will not be up to it, I'm sure...
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They made you undress?!? I just had to fold my (elastic waist) pants down to the level of my hips.
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quote:Originally posted by Liz B: *perks up* Book signing? What's going on with that, Christine? Sorry if I've missed posts about it elsewhere...
I haven't put up a big announcement about my book yet because it's only available through my publisher right now...the distributors don't have it. (Such as amazon, B&N.com, etc.) I have my first signing scheduled at a Hastings in my husband's hometown in Russellville, AR thanks to an "in" with the manager. (I think I need to hire my sister-in-law as a publicist...she's done great!) I'm also working on getting one at a Borders in St. Louis. (fingers crossed)
Anyway, the book should be completely available in a week or so (knock on wood) and then I'll have a big announcement. In the meantime, you can check out my website:
quote:Originally posted by dkw: They made you undress?!? I just had to fold my (elastic waist) pants down to the level of my hips.
I've had to undress from the waist down for every u/s I've ever had, at every stage of pregnancy. *shrugs*
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Huh. I don't really see the purpose of that, unless you were having a transvaginal ultrasound. But now I am curious as to which way is more common. Anyone else want to chime in?
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dkw, the reason I was cited each time was in case they needed to check anything with the transvaginal or do a cervix check as a result of something in the U/S. (I have mine done at my doctor's office, by my doctor.)
Oh, I take that back though-- I was in a hospital gown for a couple, after they'd checked me for other things, and I only had to pull the waistband down when I went to the high-res u/s specialist.
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Mine were all tranvaginal and then over the tummy. For bras, just before the baby I was 36E, I currently wear 36H (which is a pain to fine). So, I wouldn't worry too much about getting the nursing bra, cause you never know how much bigger you'll get (and if I don't shrink, I am so getting reductive surgery someday). Most of my maternity clothes, I borrowed from friends. I also can wear scrubs to work, so that makes life easier.
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Well I've got a week to go until my due date... I know it's silly, but I am really excited that yesterday my doctor said I'm about 1 cm dilated. I know it's not much and I know that I may stall out and stay there for a long time (and she's still up pretty high), but at least something noticeable has happened. I'm pretty sure now that the "crampy feelings" that I've been getting the last couple weeks are Braxton-Hicks, since they've been getting more frequent over the last few days (I like having a better idea of what's going on). We've almost got everything ready. Now for her just to get here!
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So, just to be a killjoy, I was 1cm, 50% effaced at 36 weeks. At 37 weeks, I was 2 cm, at 38 weeks I was 2.5, at 39 weeks 3 at 40 weeks, we induced. I was having contractions the entire time and I was pretty low. On the plus, the induction was really easy because I was so ready.
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I was also in the slow camp. I was 1 cm 50% effaced from about 36 or 37 weeks (hard to remember now). I remember being really excited but then NOTHING changed for weeks and weeks and the cramps continued to come...clearly Braxton Hicks at first but then getting regular. I had moderate contractions every 20 minutes for 2 weeks. It was so obnoxious.
When I went into real, active labor it was over in about 10 hours, hours, though.
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I was dilated a centimeter or so for 10 weeks (and I was ordered not to move around much) before I dilated the other nine, and that only took about 4 hours.
Our bodies are so weird.
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Yeah, I'm trying to temper my excitement with the knowledge that some women progress incredibly slow. It's just so hard not to get too excited. Oh well, I know that if nothing else, she should be here by the end of next week. Because of Christmas (which would be exactly 41 weeks for me), my doctor said he would probably opt to induce me the end of next week if I haven't gone into labor already. At least I'm still feeling pretty good - I'm really tired, from not sleeping well, and I'm STILL having to take my Zofran (I threw up just last week when I tried to go 2 days without it), but other than I feel good. Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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The really good thing though is that if you do induce, your cervix is probably ripe. Trying to induce without a ripe cervix can be hell according to my friends.
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I like hearing everyone's updates very much, so I figured I should give one, too.
I'm doing well and things have been quite uneventful (which is a good thing ). I'm just about 33 weeks now, and the baby loves to move around, making my belly contort into strange shapes. At my last appointment (on Friday), I had the doctor feel around and tell me which body part he really likes to stick out...and it's his bum. Yep. It sure is funny, though.
I have no major complaints, but I do get rather sore by the end of each day. In one week I'll finish my student teaching, so that's a big milestone!
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What can I expect at the last few weeks of doctor appointments? I'm now on the every two weeks schedule, and I know the every week schedule is coming. What sorts of checks do they typically do? I'm used to belly checks, where they measure my belly and listen to the heartbeat, but will I have to start getting undressed? Every time?
I'm wondering how much I can insist that I see 2 of the 3 doctors in the practice. I really don't feel comfortable with male doctors, and I don't want him examining me like that. The other two are female, and I feel more comfortable with them anyway. I know that there's a possibility that he may be the one on call when I'm in labor, but until then, I don't see why I can't make my appointments with the other two. So far, I've been able to only see him for belly checks.
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Katarain: When you go weekly, they will expect you to undress from the waist down so they can check your cervix. If you're not comfortable with the male doctor, then INSIST upon not being scheduled with him. The last thing you want is an uncomfortable vaginal exam.
I wish I had insisted a bit more one week when my regular OB was called away on an emergency and I got stuck with her horrible nurse practitioner. I already knew I didn't like the woman, but when she checked my cervix she HURT me. I about jumped off the bed. It should not hurt. If I'd had more confidence, I would have insisted on seeing someone else.
Strangely, I always thought I was more comfortable with female OB's but now I have a man. I went through three female OB's in the last 3 years and something didn't click with them. The doctor I have now is just wonderful. Easy to talk to, sympathetic....we just have the right chemistry or something. So I got over my male bias. He's very professional about all exams and has a female nurse in the room at all times during an examination.
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Like Christine said, you'll want to make your weekly appointments with the female doctors, since you're uncomfortable with having a male doctor do an internal exam. The weekly checks are pretty quick (mine has continued to do the blood pressure, urine, belly size, and heartbeat checks) but they will also be checking your cervix for progress so you will be undressing from the waist down. It's not really painful (I got one little twinge of pain on one of them), just a little uncomfortable, but very quick.
You may want to consider scheduling one of the weekly appointments (after you're more familiar with it) with the male doctor, since there's the possibility that he will be delivering the baby. But, of course, only do that if you're comfortable with it.
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I wouldn't worry about having the male doctor do the vaginal exams too much. I refused the male doctor each time, but by the time I was in labor, I couldn't have cared less that he was the one on call. I just wanted someone to catch. As it was, while he was suiting up my preferred doctor came in so it worked out in my favor, but yeah. There's every chance that you will not care. By the time you have left the hospital, everyone and their grandmas will have seen your bum anyway. I think there is a special non-embarrassment hormone that kicks in or something. I'm normally the most modest person, but nothing bothered me in the hospital. Posts: 6366 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I am only comfortable with male doctors. My doc and his office has been very accomodating. He goes so far as to ensure that there is always one male on-call doc in case I wind up in L&D on a weekend, and he has a note in my chart that they are not to call a female doc for me unless I'm dying. They shouldn't have a problem accomodating your preference.
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(Oh, and when you're in labor it's likely the nurses will be checking you as much as/more than the doctors, anyway.)
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Heh, PSI reminded me of something my mom once said about labor - by the end she wouldn't have cared if she was naked in Times Square and on national TV. Granted, she had really long, really awful labors, but that sure sounds like the non-embarrassment hormone to me... Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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Huh. I am not bothered by cervix checks while in labor or not (except, you know, that they hurt), but I would be very bothered by being naked in front of people, or otherwise having my dignity/modesty disturbed, even in labor. For instance, my gown slipped up and my sheet slipped down and the nurse saw my butt while helping me turn-- she covered me up right away but I was disturbed, if only momentarily (she is a nurse, and a woman, so I got over it.)
I was also MORE bothered by the thought of being seen by a female doctor than before while I was in labor. Discomfort with being seen naked/examined by a certain gender of doctor is not necessarily just an "embarassment" thing. It can be a real discomfort to the point of phobia, like in my case. And that does not just go away, and can intensify during labor, in fact.
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This may sound weird, but I threw modesty out the window even before I went into labor. I knew it wouldn't be pretty and I just didn't care. From the instant I walked into the hospital, I was already in the mindset that the region down south was no longer my own private domain and I'd just reclaim it when all was over.
ketchupqueen: Personal question...don't have to answer...but I was wondering if you're comfortable with female nurses examining you?
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Yes, I am, because I wasn't abused by female nurses, nurse-midwives or nurse practitioners as a child.
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quote:Originally posted by PSI Teleport: by the time I was in labor, I couldn't have cared less that he was the one on call. I just wanted someone to catch.
Yep. Child #3 was delivered by the resident on duty.
I couldn't pick him out from a lineup. I have no idea what he looked like, except I'm pretty sure he was Caucasian, and I think he may have had dark hair.
So I went in for a biophysical profile ultrasound at the maternal/ fetal specialist at 9:30 last Friday, and the doctor there took my blood pressure and did another urine dip. My bp was up (so was protein), he sent me to the hospital. Fortunately, this time I went home and called my husband before reporting to the hospital as ordered, so he could get someone to cover his classes and come meet me at the there. I got there at around 11, they admitted me, got me changed, and put me on a bp monitor. Apparently, they couldn't get it down with rest this time. My doctor came in at around 11:30 (thank goodness it was my OBGYN, since I really trust him), looked at the numbers, and said, "Well, looks like you'll be having this baby today."
Since I was completely not dilated (not surprising at 33 weeks 4 days--they decided to go with the LMP due date in calculating gestational age, instead of my first sonogram), and with my bp so high, induction was not really an option, and I had an emergency C section, delivering my son (5 lbs...pretty honkin' big for 6+ weeks early) at 4:46 PM on December 7th. I was on a magnesium sulfate IV (I think...everyone just calls it "mag") for 24 hours, which made me feel like crap, but prevents seizures & is standard treatment for delivery when you have preeclampsia. Still, I really think the worst (physical) part of the whole experience was the catheter, which they put in BEFORE the epidural. Auugh.
The baby has been in the NICU for a little over a week, but is coming home TOMORROW. I'm so happy he's coming home, & scared too, of course. Once he figured out how to eat on his own, he decided he REALLY liked it. It felt like every time I called or went in, they'd raised his feeding by another 5-10 ml.
For the next couple of weeks, we'll be working on breastfeeding (I've been pumping for bottles). We tried it yesterday and he got so *mad* when it didn't work right away, poor thing. I tried again later in the afternoon and pumped a little first, which helped. He's not used to having to work to get things started! I think we'll figure it out, though...
Edited to add: And I think I had more symptoms of preeclampsia than I realized. I didn't really *feel* swollen, but apparently I was, since I lost over 20 lbs. in my first postpartum week. And my rings fit again, and my face looks MUCH better. I guess I just thought I was getting fat.
[ December 16, 2007, 12:25 AM: Message edited by: Liz B ]
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Thank you! It was really scary for me (until that mag drip got started, and I just didn't care about much for a while), and then really upsetting when the baby wasn't breathing so well. But the nurses in that hospital are great--able to be both realistic and reassuring--which helped.
The neonatologists...well, I really liked the 2 women...the 2 men, not so much. *shrug*
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Glad you're both safe! Sorry the mag sucked! And I hope breastfeeding gets easier.
I cut my hair off today. Not all of it, but close. I've been saying for a while that with the lack of energy I've been having, I just couldn't deal with my hair. Well, after almost fainting in the shower today (I'd been in 45 minutes working on my hair), I told my husband, "Call my mom and find out who does her hair. I'm cutting it off, TODAY."
And I DID! I had the courage to actually go through with it and it looks GREAT! I went to the ward Christmas party with the family and some people didn't recognize me until they saw me with a kid or my husband, and EVERYONE's first comment was, "You cut your hair!" (Usually immediately followed by "It looks GREAT!")
I love it. LOVE IT. It is so EASY and I look good. I feel, well, not stylish because I'm never quite in style, but somehow I feel more grown-up. I'd had my hair long, and done it pretty much the same way, since I was a teenager, and now it's so different. I figured, "Hey, I'm a mom of 2 1/2! (Yes, I hit the halfway point a few days back, w00t!) It's time for a change from my teenage haircut!"
Jeff didn't really want me to cut it quite so short but once he saw it he liked it. Emma was fascinated by the long hanks of hair coming off and Bridey didn't know what to think at first although now she seems to have adjusted. I still get a bit of a shock when I look in the mirror! But I like it! I have to stop and preen a bit each time I pass by one.
(Okay, I know I went on about that a bit, but it's a BIG change. And I feel so much... lighter. And happier. My hair is clean, it's neat, and it will not take more than five minutes to do and have it look perfect. I think I'm gonna keep it this way at least for a couple more years.)
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Glad to hear both you and baby are ok Liz B. Yay!
KQ, I'm impressed you lasted so long. My sister-in-law had long hair, until about a month after the birth of her first child. Now it is ultra short. Posts: 4392 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I guess I am weird- since I have had baby, I have been growing my hair long. I have had short hair most of my life and decided I want to learn to do more hairstyles.
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I was dilated a centimeter or so for 10 weeks (and I was ordered not to move around much) before I dilated the other nine, and that only took about 4 hours.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
). I'm just about 33 weeks now, and the baby loves to move around, making my belly contort into strange shapes. At my last appointment (on Friday), I had the doctor feel around and tell me which body part he really likes to stick out...and it's his bum. Yep. It sure is funny, though. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
