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Author Topic: I'm just the right size - or, the pregnancy thread
ketchupqueen
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School4ever, I sympathise-- but on the forms I've filled out it always asks "how many children living," so that doesn't come up for me. The number of pregnancies vs. living children is something they look at to see if there is a red flag they need to be looking out for, I think.
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scholar
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Liz B- that sucks. Maybe in the next few years they'll figure something out or your body will miraculously change. I have some gynecological problems and my dr keeps telling me that with the pregnancy and the breastfeeding, it is impossible to predict how my body will behave.
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Dark as night
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quote:
Originally posted by Liz B:
By the way, I read your post as being annoyed at the well-meaning people who convinced the women that natural childbirth was the only "womanly" way, not the women who were sad about their C-sections. I just wanted to give the point of view of someone who had no particular interest in natural childbirth in the first place.

Liz, at first I was confused by what you said, but then I reread my own post and realized how poorly worded it was. You're right. I meant that I was annoyed at people who made the already sad women feel even worse. But looking back at it, I'm actually pleasantly surprised that you saw it for what I meant, not for what I wrote. Thank you for thinking better of me.

Like I said in that post, it often takes a lot of effort to comfort the patient, when she is upset and understandably frustrated with the situation. As you yourself know all too well, often times the unscheduled C-section happen urgently or emergently to a woman who didn't expect it and didn't plan it. Frequently her own emotions about suddenly having to undergo a major surgery are mixed with concern for the baby's well-being. If a C-section is truly emergent and the mother has to be put under general anesthesia, it causes an added level of stress to her afterwards. I can't imagine how traumatic it would be to wake up from anesthesia and realize that your baby has already been born and you weren't even awake for it.

And of course there's the stress of the future. VBACs are falling out of favor and I personally would be devastated if I found out that after having a C-section once I wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth with subsequent children.

Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for my rant earlier. All I was trying to say is that every woman should make her own choice about how to have her baby and that nobody should make her feel bad about how she decides to do it. I'm looking forward to being pregnant, having babies and making those decisions myself one day.

As for now, all I try to do is comfort the mothers that need comforting and relieve pain whenever I can. Every time I have a chance to be present for a birth of a baby, I consider it a blessing. Sharing that precious sacred moment is amazing. And I love being the first person who gets to take a picture of the newborn baby with his or her parents!

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dkw
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Reposted from Sakeriver almost 16 months ago -- John's Birth Story

I think my labor started on Wednesday night. I didn’t realize it at the time, all I knew is that I got up to go to the bathroom at 11:30, 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30 and 5:30 and thought it was kind of weird that my bladder had become so regular. When I came back to bed at 5:30 Bob was awake, and we lay there talking until 6:30, when I had a noticeable contraction, and then immediately had to go to the bathroom. At which point I realized that that was probably what had been waking me up all night. So I got up again, went to the bathroom, and discovered that I’d lost my mucus plug (well, not lost it exactly -- there it was). I figured Mom would be up by then, so I called her to let her know that she might want to pack for longer than a weekend trip – she and Liza were planning on coming down that night after work to scrape and paint the nursery. Dad had arrived on Tuesday to get it started. We started timing contractions, which seemed to be coming about every 12 minutes. Around 8 I decided to make breakfast. Dad stuck his head out on my way to the kitchen, and I asked him if he wanted eggs. Just then his cell phone rang, and it was Mom asking if anything was happening and should she leave early. Dad asked her what the heck she was talking about, and she said, “Dana’s in labor.” He said, “Dana’s poaching eggs.”

I called the doctor’s office to give them a heads-up and the nurse agreed with me that it probably wouldn’t get too exciting until that evening or maybe even the next morning. I went into work for a while, went out to lunch with Bob & Dad, packed the hospital bags, tried to rest. Contractions pretty much stayed at 12-15 minutes all day, but got progressively stronger. Liza and Mom arrived in time for supper. After supper things started getting a little faster, so we sent Mom to the airport to fetch Bob’s mom (who had managed to book a flight immediately after Bob called her that morning). We sat around and ate chocolate and talked until maybe 11:30 or so, by which time the contractions were at 7 ˝ minutes and fairly uncomfortable. But we discovered that if Bob pressed his fist hard into the small of my back it helped a lot. Bob’s mom went back to the hotel, and I called the hospital to let the birth folks know we’d probably be coming in sometime in the night. The nurse suggested a warm bath or shower, which would either slow the contractions enough for me to rest or speed them up enough that I’d know I should come in. It didn’t actually have any effect on the contractions, but it relaxed me enough to sleep between them, so Bob got the car out of the garage and put the bags in it and we went to bed. Earlier when I’d tried to nap I found out that it hurt to be lying down when a contraction hit, but the fist in the lower back thing still seemed to be working, so we got some sleep.

About 2:30 the contractions were still at 7 ˝ minutes, but when I got up to go to the bathroom I started shaking and felt nauseous, so I decided we should head for the hospital before anything happened that would make the trip any more miserable. Fortunately it’s less than ˝ mile away – I had a contraction holding onto the car door with Bob holding me, hopped in the car, and was out and holding onto the car door in the hospital parking lot when the next one hit. Mom followed in her car, and helped carry stuff in.

We snuck past the registration desk and went straight up to the birth center. A nurse buzzed us in and took us to our suite. The hospital had our birth plan on file, and she told me she’d read it after I called, and it looked good. We decided to hook me up to the monitors for 30 minutes to see how things were going, and then she’d check my cervix. Baby’s heart rate was good, changing up and down with movements and contractions, which were still at about 7 minutes. Then she checked my cervix. It was only 2 cm dilated, but fully effaced. She told us she’d be back in an hour to see how I was progressing. I stayed in bed, lying on my side, sleeping between contractions. Bob sat on the doctor’s stool behind me, with a hand on my hip so he could feel what was going on and dozed between contractions. Mom fell asleep in the chair.

When the nurse came back in an hour, I was dilated to 5 cm and she couldn’t feel the bag of waters anymore. I hadn’t noticed it breaking, but I did notice after that that the contractions had a little gush of fluid accompanying each one. She went to call the doctor. Contractions were starting to get hellacious, but the counter-pressure still helped. I must admit that I thought the advice from our prepared childbirth classes where the dad is supposed to “remind her to relax” were ridiculous, but it turns out it helped. Every now and then I would really tense up, which made things unbearable, and Bob would say “you have to relax” and I would concentrate on taking a deep breath and breathing out slowly and my muscles relaxed and everything felt better. I also got the giggles when I realized that I was using moves that I learned when Liza, Mom and I took belly-dance classes to move my back against Bob’s fist. The pelvic-rotation aspect seemed to help. The nurse came back after an hour to check on us, and said she’d be back in half an hour or so to check my cervix again.

The contractions got close enough together that dozing between them was no longer an option. I was hooked to the monitor again since I was lying down – that was the compromise with the hospital policy, I could be off it if I was moving around, but when I was in bed they hooked me up. Bob was watching the little numbers and said I must be in transition, because the contractions had multiple peaks. I thought it was probably too soon for that, but pretty soon I changed breathing patterns – not intentionally, but suddenly blowing air out in short puffs was more comfortable than long slow breaths. I tried one of the Lamaze patterns we’d learned in class, but it didn’t help at all so I went back to blowing. Along with clutching the bedrail ( I was lying on my side) and pressing my back against Bob. We later found out that baby was posterior, which explained the back labor. He managed to rotate during the pushing phase and come out the right way, though.

When the nurse came back I told her I’d like to get up and go to the bathroom. She said she’d just check me quick first, and then help me up. She did, and then said there was no way I was getting up because I was at 10 cm and the baby was there. She said to keep breathing through the contractions the way I’d been, while she got the doctor. She was back in a minute to say he was 8 minutes away, but not to worry, she’d delivered babies before and could do it again if she had to. The contractions actually got a little easier then, they were further apart so I had 1 ˝ -2 minutes to rest and chat in between them. I felt great in between, and as long as Bob was pushing on my back not so bad during.

A nursing supervisor came in and said that they had two nursing students, one male and one female, who had never seen a vaginal birth, and would I mind if they observed? I looked at Bob, who said it was up to me, so I said it would be fine. They came in and stood in the corner.

The doctor got there and put down bunches of plastic and absorbent stuff. Then he took a look and said that on the next contraction I should push. This is the one part of the experience I would change – I hadn’t specifically talked to the doctor or the nurses about alternative positions for the pushing and birth, and so I was in the “traditional” (for the last hundred years) half-sitting, half-lying, with my tailbone pressed into the bed so it couldn’t move out of the way trying to push the baby uphill pose. I would have much rather been squatting or lying on my side, but I couldn’t seem to articulate that at the time, so I decided to just let it go and do it their way. If there’s a next time I’ll be talking that part out ahead of time, because I’m convinced the pushing part was a lot worse than it needed to be. Anyway, after the first push the doctor got Mom and one of the nurses on each side to hold my feet up so I could push against their hands and Bob and one of the other nurses on each side to help me curl forward and tuck my chin in kind of a “abdominal crunch” sort of exercise. And since I kept trying to reach over my head and pull on the bedrails the nurse flipped up some rings at about hip level for me to pull against. And the doctor and nurse kept telling me to take a deep breath, hold it and push for a count of ten.

Unfortunately, I seemed to have forgotten how to take a deep breath and hold it. Every time they said “hold it” I breathed out instead of in and everyone yelled “no, no, hold it. I kept saying, “I can’t, I can’t” and I’m pretty sure they though I was referring to the whole pushing thing, but meant that I couldn’t make my lungs remember which way was in and which was out. I figured it out eventually, though, and managed to get in two pushes every contraction. The nurse thought I should have three and kept scolding me and saying unhelpful things like “you’re the only one who can push this baby out, you have to do this, blah, blah, blah.” I tuned her out. Bob held me and said helpful things, although I don’t actually remember what any of them were now. I was still getting over a minute’s rest between contractions, and people would feed me ice chips and re-wet the cold washcloth I’d asked for on my forehead. Bob laughed at me once because I said “thank you” when they gave me my washcloth back. I think he thought I was supposed to be out of control and “not myself” by then. I do seem to recall at one point telling him I’d changed my mind and was he sure we wanted a baby, so he might not have been too far off in that.

I really don’t know how long that part lasted, but one of the times I was pushing (and cheating by only going 8-9 seconds because my head hurt if I held my breath any longer) I’d already DONE three and the doctor and nurse said “one more, NOW” with enough intensity that even though the contraction was over I took another breath and pushed and his head popped out. It was the most overwhelming sense of relief I have ever felt. I really couldn’t feel anything down there but pressure up to that point, but once the rock-solid little head was out I suddenly had tactile sensation again and since the contraction was over everything was relaxed and I felt just great. Mom and Bob were both crying, and the doctor suctioned out the baby’s nose and mouth while we were waiting for the next contraction. Then one more little push and he wriggled right out. That felt reallyreallyreally weird. They put him right on my abdomen and covered him up with a towel. I was too busy looking at him to notice what was going on with my nether regions until I felt this very strange slurping, blurping thing that was the placenta coming out.

Bob kept the nurses from picking the baby up right away, so I got to hold him on my tummy and talk to him for quite a bit. They brought all the equipment and stuff into the room, so eventually they picked him up and weighed and stuck and measured him and put the goopy ointment in his eyes. Everybody went over to the other side of the room with him to ooo and aaaah and left me being examined and stitched. I had one tear and a few “skid marks” that didn’t need stitches. So I’m not quite sure what that part took three times as long as the actual birth. Maybe it just seemed that way. Mom did come back to talk to me after a bit, though. And somebody brought me ice water in a big cup/jug. Ah, blessed water!

Once I was finally knees down and had a sheet over my lap they let in Dad and Liza and Bob’s mom, who were waiting in the family room. The nurses were supposed to have told them that they could come in for the birth if they wanted to, but that message got lost somehow. Everybody held the baby, and then I got him back to try breastfeeding. The extended family decided to give us a little time alone and trooped out. I sat up straight and got my pillows arranged. The nurse started to be helpful, saying, “now hold him with the other arm . . .” But I said, “No, we’re going to try the reverse cradle hold first so I can see what I’m doing and have better control during latch-on.” So she backed away a couple steps and left us to it. He latched on right away, and sucked for a good 15 minutes, then switched sides and went for another 15. The maternity floor had a sort of continental breakfast buffet, so Bob fetched toast and juice while I fed John. Then the extended family returned, bringing us treats from Panera.

After two or three tries at getting me to rate my current level of pain on their 1-10 happy-sad face scale the nurses gave up, since I kept telling them I wasn’t feeling any. They put a thing in the toilet to catch and measure pee, so of course my bashful bladder acted up and I couldn’t go. Finally the nurse threatened a urinary catheter if I didn’t produce 200 cc within the hour. I drank another 32 oz of water and made it just under deadline. John also was required to wet a diaper within 24 hours of birth and managed it with just half an hour to spare. He’s Momma’s boy!

The hospital provides a celebratory “steak” dinner to every happy couple after the birth of a baby, so we had it that night to celebrate Bob’s birthday and John’s birth. And when the doctor came to check on us in the morning he said we were healthy as could be and could go home early if we wanted to. And we did. [Big Grin]

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dkw
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Birth Plan

August 27, 2006

To: [Name of Local Hospital] Birthing Center Caregivers

From: Dana & Bob S

Approximate Admit Date: October 6, 2006


We want you to know that our desire to keep as close to a “natural” or unmedicated birth as possible does not stem from any distrust of the medical profession or medicine in general. We both take daily medication for chronic conditions and we are very grateful for the way it enhances our lives. But we prefer not to use it unless needed, and we have several friends and family members who have had positive experiences with unmedicated birth, so our starting assumption is that unless something goes wrong medication will not be needed. Dana would especially like to avoid anything that 1) restricts movement or confines her to bed and 2) causes grogginess. (And anything that has even the slightest chance of sleepiness as a side effect will effect Dana that way, to the extent of putting her straight to sleep or making her a very grumpy zombie, even at a fraction of the normal dosage.) We don’t drink alcohol or use recreational drugs, and Dana very rarely uses even OTC painkillers or cold medicine, so she has no built up tolerance whatsoever. If medication should become necessary, please start with a very small dose.

Note: We realize that circumstances may not cooperate, and we may not be able to stick exactly to this plan. We appreciate your assistance in keeping as close as possible to the intent of these requests, even if we have to compromise on the details. Thank you.



Birth Plan
Dana & Bob S – page 2


First Stage Labor

  • We would prefer no IV, but will accept IV prep with a saline lock.
  • Intermittent rather than continuous fetal monitoring – Dana will not be tied to belts and monitors but will be free to move around, make use of the shower and tub, etc.
  • No augmentation of labor such as stripping the membranes, amniotomy, or pitocin.
  • Do not offer analgesia or anesthesia unless we ask for it. Whining, grumbling, and describing pain in excruciating detail is to be considered “sharing the experience” rather than a request for drugs. If Dana wants medical pain relief she will ask for it explicitly.

Second & Third Stage Labor

  • Dana’s choice of positions for pushing and delivery. Since our doctor may have limited mobility due to a torn ACL and recent surgery we’ll try to keep it convenient for him too, while making use of upright positions and gravity as much as possible.
  • No episiotomy.
  • Bob would like to cut the umbilical cord.
  • Dana will attempt to breastfeed immediately to assist with uterine contraction/delivery of the placenta. We would prefer pitocin not be given at this time, but will accept it if the doctor deems it necessary.
  • If stitching of the perineum is necessary, please use a local anesthetic.


After Birth

  • Baby to “room in” with parents.
  • Bob will accompany baby on any required trips away from Dana’ room. Please keep these, if any, to the minimum.
  • Breastfeeding only, absolutely no artificial nipples, bottles, pacifiers, formula, or water to be given.
  • No circumcision.

Note again: We realize that circumstances may not cooperate, and we may not be able to stick exactly to this plan. We appreciate your assistance in keeping as close as possible to the intent of these requests, even if we have to compromise on the details. Thank you.

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dkw
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For Birth Plan v.2.0 the first two points under second and thrid stage labor have been changed to:

  • Dana’s choice of positions for pushing and delivery. The pushing stage is the one part of our previous birth experience that was NOT satisfactory. The lithotomy position is RIGHT OUT!!! Dana WILL NOT be lying on her back, period.
  • We have been studying natural childbirth methods for breathing and pushing and will be using them. There will be no “hold your breath and push to the count of ten.”

We haven't run this one by the doctor yet, but I'm planning to print those two points on signs to hang above the bed. And on index cards to hand to the nurses if they forget.

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ketchupqueen
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I don't do birth plans. But I was telling Boon today I might have to this time because last time they tried to send in a female anesthesiologist and I would prefer not to have to argue things like that while in labor.
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dkw
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I had a hard time arguing with anything once the pushing part started. Which is why the edits.

I'm very happy with the results of having a typed plan. After I called the hospital to give them the heads up that we'd be in that night the nurses took it out of the file and read it, so when we got there they already knew what we wanted and felt like they knew us a little bit.

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Brinestone
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I like most of your birth plan. Mind if I steal it and modify it some?

(Changes I'd make would be small, like regarding the baby leaving with Jon Boy every time. I suspect he'll be roaming the halls with Lego fairly often and will not be available for that whenever necessary. Also, I might need pitocin again if my water breaks without labor starting naturally within twelve hours or so.)

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dkw
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Steal away.

John only ever left the room once, for the hearing test and official picture. They do those at midnight, for some bizarre reason, and I made Bob wake up and go along. [Big Grin]

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ketchupqueen
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They do the hearing test in the room at my hospital. Of course, I had to leave the room because the idiot technician doing it ignored the big red "NO RUBBING ALCOHOL IN THIS ROOM" sign on my door. [Roll Eyes]
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Katarain
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Thanks so much for posting that, Dana! [Smile] I can't wait to get that Birth Book so I can see exactly what I want for my birth plan. It'll be at least a week before I get the book.
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School4ever
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KQ- The forms I have had to fill out have said something like "number of pregnancies" and then "number of children living." I have had these questions when I moved and got a new PCP, a new gynacologist, and a new reproductive endocrinologist. I also got it when I had to go to the maternal/fetal specialist because my RE wanted me to know just how high risk my pregnancy would be since I am obese and I want to do IVF. In two months I filled out the same information six times. One pregnancy, one child living. Six times because I went to three different RE's since no one wants do IVF on me because I am obese.
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Liz B
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Thanks for posting that, dkw! I loved reading the birth story, and I also love how your birth plan is explicit AND funny. [Smile]

I also had trouble with the pain scale. The L&D nurse who told me about it told me that 5 was "give me my epidural now." So after my C-section, anytime anyone asked me, I was like, "hmmmm, maybe a two and a half." Yeah, it hurt...enough for me to REALLY want a percocet...but I didn't need an epidural! One nurse tried to tell me that if I was only at a 2.5 I didn't need percocet. [Roll Eyes]

(Dark as night, no need to apologize for ranting. [Smile] What else are fora...for?)

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ketchupqueen
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Huh, I don't think 5 is "give me my epidural now" unless you're like me and want it before you have significant pain-- 5 is what I would characterize as "mild-to-moderate discomfort/pain." If you look at the smileys on the chart they're juuuust starting to look uncomfortable.
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Brinestone
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The nurse told me that a certain point on the pain scale (7 or 8) was where you start crying or screaming. I thought that was weird because I really only cry out with pain if it surprises me, and contractions were predictable. I would probably have categorized the pre-epidural contractions as a 7 or 8, but I was silent through them. Different women have different reactions to pain, so I imagine determining a point on the scale for any woman would be difficult.

The other thing that annoyed me was that in the day or two after Lego was born, the nurse kept asking me my pain level. I'd tell her it was one or two, and she'd still give me heavy-duty pain meds. I never opened the bottles of the pain meds they sent home with me (which, of course, they insisted on us buying and thus paying for).

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ketchupqueen
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That's odd, Brinestone. I was sent home with scrips both times that I didn't fill, but they wanted me to take the scrip so I did. No sweat off my back, although I suppose I did contribute to the deforestation of the planet.
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ketchupqueen
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(And I have had such success with just tylenol and advil, I think I'm going to ask my doc to order that I just recieve 2 extra-strength tylenol and 600 mg of ibuprofen every three hours, alternating, unless I tell them I don't need them yet.)
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dkw
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I hadn't realized that taking pain meds post-partum was common with non-surgical births. I guess the nurses assumed my "don't offer unless I ask first" applied to that too, since no one even mentioned it.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
(And I have had such success with just tylenol and advil, I think I'm going to ask my doc to order that I just recieve 2 extra-strength tylenol and 600 mg of ibuprofen every three hours, alternating, unless I tell them I don't need them yet.)

kq, make sure the option of something slightly stronger (like Tylenol3) is still there. Afterpains, IME, get noticeably worse with each kid.
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ketchupqueen
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Oh, I would make sure of that, too, but not Tylenol III-- codeine.
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ludosti
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quote:
The other thing that annoys me to no end is when a woman feels like she's failed her childbirth duty by having had a C-section. Believe me, I've seen that happen. Sometimes it can take a lot of effort to comfort the mother and explain to her that having an unplanned C-section because of failure to progress with labor, does NOT make HER any less of a woman, or a mother. The only thing that matters in the end is that she and the baby are both safe and healthy.
This is what happened to me for a while. After 15 hours of labor, I was stuck at 6 cm and Jessica's heart rate was starting to get lower (right at the low end of the range) and my contractions were really strange. When my doctor came in and told me that things were "not optimal" and we should seriously consider a C-section, I was crushed. I bawled. Both my husband and my mom had to reassure me that having a C-section didn't mean I'd failed or that I'd done anything wrong, just that this was the best way to keep us healthy. I still am sad that I didn't get the childbirth experience that I had imagined. I had had an epidural already, but because of problems with vomiting, the anesthesiologist had to pump me full of anti-nausea meds (he said he gave me all 4 he had) and they made me pretty loopy. I wish I could have been more coherent for her birth. The C-section really was for the best though. The cord was right next to her head and it was stuck at a funny angle, so if things had progressed normally, really bad things could have happened. It is nice that VBACs are becoming more common so a vaginal birth is still a possibility for my future. [Smile]

I didn't need a lot of pain medication afterwards (the nurses kept double checking to make sure that I was ok, since I was spacing out my meds pretty far) and I heal so quickly that we were able to go home after only 2.5 days. I think I only needed my prescriptions for the first day or so home (and not as often as they could have been taken).

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Liz B
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I definitely get where you're coming from, ludosti. I didn't need any anti-nausea meds, but I was on magnesium sulfate, which made me pretty loopy and detached. In a way it was good, because it made me worry less. As I think back, I had such a great L&D nurse. She kept trying to get me to talk to her...I'm sure I looked worried and sad...but mostly I was worried because we had scheduled for someone to come and clean our house the next day and I didn't have their number to call and cancel. I know it was the meds that made me worry about that instead of worrying about the baby, which was for the best.

I stayed in the hospital for all four days--no way they would have discharged me early, with the bp problems I was still having. In fact, they almost didn't let me go when it was time because my bp was 160/107. My husband yelled at the poor nurse, who was only trying to do her job. It was horrible, though. I was completely torn between not wanting to leave my baby in the hospital, and not wanting to stay there myself one more day. (I was convinced that just being there was part of my bp problem, and i was right...my readings at home were still high, but not nearly THAT high.)

Anyway, I kept taking percocet until Nathaniel came home. Until he actually came home, I was still in pain because I was definitely pushing myself too hard. I was pumping every 3 hours, including at night, and making at least 1, often 2, trips to the hospital every day (it was about 30 minutes away from our house), still trying to get things ready for him, seeing all kinds of doctors to try to get my bp under control...essentially not taking care of myself. And I think it was a hormone/ stress thing, too. The day he came home, suddenly I didn't really need anything at all, except for advil in the AM and PM. Yay baby. [Smile]

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ketchupqueen
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quote:
I know it was the meds that made me worry about that instead of worrying about the baby, which was for the best.

Well, that or displacement. I have found myself prone to displacement once in a while, and really that is not always a bad thing if it helps you get through the situation. Then later you feel the worry you had displaced, after it is safe, and realize what a bullet you dodged!
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ludosti
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I'm surprised your bp wasn't higher just from the stress of worrying about your baby. I know they sometimes had to take mine more than once, when I was worried (and my bp is always great). I can't imagine how hard it would be to go home without your baby! No wonder your pain level decreased when he came home. [Smile]

That's another odd thing - my mom (who was watching the monitors) said that for the last hour or so I was in labor, Jessica's heart rate would drop every time the blood pressure cuff inflated.

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
Oh, I would make sure of that, too, but not Tylenol III-- codeine.

Yes, I know what's in it. Not sure if you're saying that's off-limits for a nursing mom (my OB and pediatrician would disagree with you if you were) or something you in particular react to.
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ketchupqueen
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No, I've started having bad reactions to codeine-- as I mentioned on the previous page.
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scholar
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Some women convert codeine to morphine which goes through the breastmilk and can be very bad, esp if people don't realize that is what is happening. It is a pretty rare response to codeine though.
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ketchupqueen
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I seem to be at the "sensitivity" stage rather than the "allergy" stage. However, I can give you a count in the double digits of the things I'm allergic to that started as sensitivities. So I've decided it's best to forgo codeine.
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ketchupqueen
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I just drank some horchata, and the baby is dancing all around, making my tummy visibly jump. *giggles* I love when they do that, though it feels weird!
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
No, I've started having bad reactions to codeine-- as I mentioned on the previous page.

Sorry, the last page was a long time ago. [Wink]
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ketchupqueen
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Oh, I know how that is. [Wink]
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Liz B
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Nathaniel would dance in my belly when my husband played Chopin waltzes. [Smile]
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ketchupqueen
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Emma used to like "We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet", bagpipe music, Flaco Jimenez, and the Friends theme song (I watched a lot while I was pregnant with her-- Netflix.) Bridey just danced to everything. This one seems to have no preferences as of yet, but sleeps a lot more than the other two.
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Christine
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I didn't do a birthing plan with my first and probably won't again. My husband is completely on board with me on all things that are important to us and is not at all afraid to be my advocate or speak his mind. He ran interference for me a lot with our son and he insisted upon staying with Drake at all times when he was not in the room with me. He annoyed the nurses, but too bad.

Besides, my birthing plan would be pretty simple. I'm all for the epidural and don't can't think of anything super important when it comes to the birth except getting the baby out safely. Afterwards, breastfeeding is important to me but I feel confident that I or my husband can make sure there are no problems there.

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ketchupqueen
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Okay, this is my birth plan so far (this is a very rough draft.) Notes as to why I included something are in italics.

________________________________________________


I wish to be induced as soon as my doctor says I am physically ready and I start becoming uncomfortable because of the frequency of contractions and the size of the baby. If this doesn't happen, I want to go into labor on my own, but I do not want to go past my due date. If I hit my due date and have not gone into labor or begun having discomfort from frequent, regular contractions, I wish to be induced as soon as possible. (I have a history of very big babies-- well, long, not heavy. I also have been induced after contractions became painful and regular-- usually every ten minutes or closer-- and the first time they went on for 2 weeks before they induced me. I don't want that again.)

I want to be induced with pitocin, I do not want any drugs to be used to ripen my cervix. I do not wish to be induced before my cervix is thinning and dilating on its own.

There must be absolutely no rubbing alcohol anywhere in the room with me, at any time. (I don't want an asthma attack and allergic reaction while I'm in labor.) A bottle of betadine or betadine swabs should be kept on hand for purposes rubbing alcohol is customarily used for, a notation should be made on my chart, and a sign placed on my door. Similarly, other allergies should be kept track of, and no allergens introduced into my environment at any time.

I want an epidural as soon as my contractions are regulated by the pitocin, before I feel any pain. It is extremely important that the anesthesiologist is MALE, and that he is aware of my allergies.

No female doctors are to be in my room at any time during labor. (It's not the time for a panic attack.)

I do not want my cervix checked for dilation on a regular schedule after I have the epidural; I will call for a nurse when I wish to be checked.

Once the epidural is working, it is okay to break my water. (This usually relieves significant discomfort for me. It is also okay to insert a catheter at this point. I do not want a catheter before I have an epidural.

I do not want continuous monitoring of my blood pressure, if possible. Intermittent monitoring is okay, but I do not want to wear the cuff the whole time.

Once I am fully dilated, and the team is assembled, I want to push when I am ready, not be told when to push. I want my husband to count while I push, not doctors or nurses. I do not want anyone else to talk while I am pushing, if something needs to be said, it can wait until after I am done with that contraction.

I prefer not to have an episiotomy, and am willing to risk a first to second degree tear to avoid one, but will accept one if absolutely necessary. Perineal massage to reduce tears would be appreciated if necessary and appropriate.

When the baby is born, I would like her placed on my chest to look at her as soon as possible, unless she is not breathing well or I am bleeding too heavily and require intervention. {Sadly, this is one part I'm almost resigned to not happening; both those things have happened with both my prior births.) If intervention is required for either of us on either of these counts, or for some other reason, I want to be informed of exactly what is happening, as it is happening, in clear, concise terms.

If I bleed heavily during and after delivery, I want to immediately receive more pitocin, while the epidural is still in effect, as well as uterine massage, to reduce the severity of the bleeding and help the uterus contract.

I want to breastfeed the baby as soon as possible.

I do not want to receive any pain medications unless the following unless I specifically ask: 2 extra-strength Tylenol and 600 mg ibuprofen, every three hours, alternating, unless I state that I do not need the next dose at that time, in which case it should be given when I ask for it. I do not want to be offered anything stronger, although I'm okay with a prescription being on hand, unless I ask for it. I should not be offered or given codeine or anything containing codeine or similar drugs, as I have developed a sensitivity to it. A note of this should also be displayed prominently in my chart and nurses made aware of it.

My husband will accompany the baby to the nursery for the newborn screening test and any other procedures that must be done there. I prefer all weighing, measuring, etc. to be done in my room. I do not want my baby to receive any vaccinations while in the hospital. She will receive them at her two-week check-up instead. Rubbing alcohol should not be used on the baby, even when she is not in my presence. Please use betadine instead.

A sign should be placed on my door informing all personnel of my rubbing alcohol allergy. NO ONE is to bring rubbing alcohol, or products containing it, into my room for any reason, including the hearing test. Last time I was in this hospital the lady doing the hearing test ignored the sign and I had to leave the room. Idiot lady. If it says "NO RUBBING ALCOHOL IN THIS ROOM" in red on the door, wouldn't you think twice about opening up an alcohol swab to do the hearing test? I would.

Baby will be rooming-in with me but I may want a break. If I take her to the nursery while I shower or rest, I do not want to be called to come get her. While I will be breastfeeding, she may be given formula if she becomes hungry while she is in the nursery. I will get her when I am ready.

I do not want baby to be given a Soothie pacifier. I will supply a pacifier which may be kept in her bassinet and given to her as needed in the nursery.

If the baby is jaundiced (both my previous girls were-- I'm type O+, Jeff and the girls are A+, and it REALLY SHOWS because they're born really pale, so it looks worse than it is) I do not wish to be told repeatedly that I should have her in the sunlight. I know that. I also do not wish to be questioned repeatedly about which position the baby is sleeping in. Once is enough.

No female doctor is to examine me, at any time.

If I inform the nurses that a particular pediatrician is not to attend my child again, I expect this advice to be strictly followed. That pediatrician should not enter my room or examine my child in the nursery. (I haven't got to this point yet but I almost did last time, and I want them prepared for the possibility.)

If I want to consult a lactation consultant, I will ask for one. I do not want to be offered one otherwise.

_______________________________________________

And I think that's it.

As you can see, there's a lot more about before labor and after the baby's born, because that's when I've had the most problems... And really most of them weren't that big. But I'd like to avoid ANY. I think my requests (demands? [Wink] ) are reasonable, and within the scope of the hospital's policies and capabilities.

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ketchupqueen
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I realize also that that's probably very far from the typical birth plan. But hey, it's what I want/need, and I'm a girl who knows what I want.
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Christine
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ketchupqueen: It does sound like you know what you want! [Smile] It's definitely all reasonable but as you put together your final draft, you may want to try a format like dkw...it's so easy to read in short, clear bullets separated by sections. You may also want to put the most important things at the top. (Such as no female docs)
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ketchupqueen
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Well, the doctor already knows that.

I'm thinking of making a handout for the nurses, though.

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Katarain
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I called the hospital to schedule a time I could come to see the nursery, maternity ward, etc. They told me they do a tour once a month and the next one is in mid-February. I'm not too happy about that, because I think it's too close to my due date (about 2 or 3 weeks prior).

I'm wondering if it would be out of line to request a special tour. I had been checking their website and the fact that the tour is once a month was not mentioned--otherwise, I would have tried to go to the one in January.

I asked about how they feel about birthing plans, and the lady told me to try to keep it to 5 main points. I got the impression, although she didn't say it and was very polite, that they don't like them very much.

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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by Katarain:

I asked about how they feel about birthing plans, and the lady told me to try to keep it to 5 main points. I got the impression, although she didn't say it and was very polite, that they don't like them very much.

I've heard nurses say they just plain ignore it. I'm not sure if they think the woman who use them are too picky, too paranoid, or something else but I wasn't impressed by the attitude. I can understand the need to keep it as short and simple as possible, though. Many hospitals have lots of patients and if they all come in with 3-page birthing plans written in paragraph form there's no way they're going to read any of it, let alone remember it.

I guess that's part of why I'd rather have my husband speak up for me on the few things I think are important. He can put my wishes in their face if need be. A piece of paper is more passive.

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ketchupqueen
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That's why I haven't had them before-- I trust my husband to stand up for what we/I want/need, and am capable of doing it myself once I'm not in labor, will discuss all this with my doctor before hand, and I was also under the impression that birth plans often just get ignored.

I like the idea of having printed index cards with a few relevant objections to standard practice (like my "no female doctors" and "no rubbing alcohol") to hand to everyone who comes in, though.

Also making a custom card for my baby's bassinet with special instructions for the nursery-- no vax, pacifier I supply only, formula okay only if I have left baby in the nursery for a break, and no freakin' rubbing alcohol.

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Brinestone
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Does anyone else get more insecure while pregnant? I don't know what it is, but it's happened both times now. I wonder how much of it is hormonal and how much of it is body-image-related.
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by Brinestone:
Does anyone else get more insecure while pregnant? I don't know what it is, but it's happened both times now. I wonder how much of it is hormonal and how much of it is body-image-related.

I'm pretty insecure anyway, especially about my body, so it's hard to tell!

Although, now that I think about it, I burst into tears in the middle of a clothing store when I was pregnant with my son and none of the maternity clothes would fit. I don't usually do that so publicly...hmmmm...so maybe yes.

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ketchupqueen
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I get more insecure about some things. Generally I am more secure about my body when I'm pregnant than when I'm not, though.
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dkw
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I don't think I get insecure, but I definitely get needy. I crave hugs and backrubs and footrubs and being snuggled.
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ketchupqueen
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I get needy big-time, too. Which is rough right now because it's tax season and KPC is a tax accountant. [Cry]
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Brinestone
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For me it's not just insecurity about my body. It's that when I'm pregnant, I suddenly need to know that everyone, especially my husband, still loves me and loves being around me. I tend to assume people don't for some reason when I'm pregnant. It's weird. I mean, I'm a bit insecure all the time, but I definitely notice that I can't take any kind of rejection or criticism without bursting into tears. That's not like me.
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ketchupqueen
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I feel that way sometimes, too, Brinestone. In particular I remember one day when I was pregnant with Bridey, and Emma was having a fit, and she threw herself on the floor and screamed, "You a bad, BAD MOMMY! I NO LOVE YOU!" Normally this would not phase me; I know it's a not-yet-two-year-old's way of saying the most hurtful thing she can to get my attention because she feels she's been wronged and hurt. But at the time, I burst into tears and ran to my bed. (She eventually calmed down, came and laid by me, and stroked my hair and hugged and kissed me, which made me feel better.)
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Liz B
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I felt much more secure while pregnant. Needy, sure, but I felt surrounded by everyone's approval since I'd finally decided to reproduce. And I felt more secure about my body, too. I really liked how I looked pregnant.

Nathaniel has a blog! Link

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