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My son - when we opened the pizza box this evening (plain cheese)
"This is a big pizza. It looks like the moon. Well, not like the moon always, just like the full moon. The crescent moon doesn't look like a pizza." Then he thinks for a minute. "If you had two crescent moons, they could be a donut! Except, you'd have to sorta squish it like this *pinches his finger together* - but the gibbous moon, it could be a football donut!"
My son tends to just ramble on alot. He went from talking almost none at all as a toddler to now when he lives in a state of permanent narrative. At the moment he's very obsessed with the moon and, of course, Krispie Kreme "football" donuts that my dad has been bringing home lately.
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Sasha, first words to a large stranger with long blonde hair and dark 5-O'clock shadow, met while washing hands in the bathroom, "Your hair looks...strange."
Earlier, "Monsters don't giggle" which I believe would be the title of a great children's book.
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The elementary school where I work was visited by an accreditation team, very nicely dressed older men, one black, one white. As they walked into the school a group of first graders were returning from the playground to come in as well. One of the boys turned to another boy, and in a loud voice, announced that Obama and McCain were visiting our school! The teachers blushed, the men felt very presidential, and the kids were very excited.
Posts: 315 | Registered: Dec 2005
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When she was about 6, my niece was in the bank with my sister one day. She sat on a chair to wait while my sister was in line. She got up for a minute and meanwhile an older neighbour of theirs came in and sat down. My niece went back over and said "Hey, you're in my seat!". My sister took her and said "Now, that's not very polite, is it? What would you like to say to Mr. Harrison?" (intending for my niece to say "Sorry, you can have my seat" or something similar.) My niece, however, looks at the man and takes a deep breath and says "I didn't mean to say you're in my seat. I meant to say I'm sorry, sir, but could you please move because I was there first?"
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At work once a little boy (prob around 5 or 6) said loudly. "My sister spent the night at her boyfriend's house." lol, his parents looked like they were somewhere between ticked off and embarrassed.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: May 2004
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Embarassing moment at the library: My daughter chose "Homeward Bound" as her movie this week. The librarian gushed about how her daughter loved it and watched it over and over. As we were leaving, I asked my daughter to thank the librarian.
"Thank you," she said. Then added "I hope your daughter's brain didn't get smooshed."
Turns out, my wife had discouraged her from playing the same video games all day by telling her that if she did her brain would get mushy. So when the librarian said here daughter watched "Homeward Bound" over and over... brilliant.
Posts: 2926 | Registered: Sep 2005
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My old babysitter just emailed to tell us that she's pregnant. Thinking of her brought this story to mind-- I guess it was summer and I was four or five years old. My parents were working very diligently in the garden and I must have been bored, so I wandered over to our babysitters house. I'm not quite sure how my parents didn't notice my absence, but they didn't, so it was quite a surprise when our neighbors called them some time later, asking if I could come home now. Apparently I had told them that my parents needed some... alone time.
Posts: 1215 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Not my kid. but Yesterday in the church nursery, I was teaching a lesson on gratitude, and concluded with "what are you thankful to God for right now?". ONe of our three year olds, who happens to be the junior pastor's son, said, "YOU, Jenna!".
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My dad has a slight swearing problem, and since my daughter (3 in May) and I have been speniding alot of time with my parents lately, Cassidy (daughter) has taken to saying "Thats B**l S**t!
an example:
Cassidy: I don't want to watch your TBD (what she calls anything on the T.V. a mix of T.V. and D.V.D.) I wanna watch Caillu!
Me: It's not your turn
Cassidy: That's B-S- (points finger at me)
Me: Excuse me? I told you, we don't say that (Then I picked her up to carry her over to the time out chair.) Cassidy: 'sorry daddy it not B-S-'
I asked her what we should name our new cat, and she told me "kitty toothpaste Chapin" (Chapin is how she says my last name.)
My favorite though is when I told her that the beach was closed becuase it was winter time, and she said with a wide-eyed you-should-know-this already look "Your a daddy, my can't unlock the beach, onlyyou can."
I do wish she had not picked up the B.S. word though. I try not to give it much of a reaction other than a time-out, but she just thinks it's the greatest thing in the world. Oh well, It seems like my new mantra is "she's two" Posts: 278 | Registered: Apr 2004
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My brother used to swear around my kids. I informed him that he will not be allowed around them if he swears around them. He no longer swears around them...
He still says "stupid" though, which is a Word We Do Not Say since Emma picked it up when she was 2. (We say "silly" instead, usually.) Luckily she knows it is a Word We Do Not Say and has been known to exclaim, "Ooooh, Uncle Michael said a BAD WORD!" when he utters it in her hearing. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote: I asked her what we should name our new cat, and she told me "kitty toothpaste Chapin" (Chapin is how she says my last name.)
What is up with this? I have a little boy in my Sunday School class with a stuffed horse named Toothpaste. Is toothpaste really so intriguing? Why not Floss? Or Shampoo?
As for the cursing...urgh. My son learned his first curse word from my 78-year-old grandma. She's a special lady, and WAY past reformation. (She still refers to my grandpa, from whom she is divorced, as a "Pistol-Packin' Pecker Head."*) So I let it pass. For my grandma, not my son. Our big struggle is the word "crap". It's been my crutch for a long, long time, but my kids know that it is off-limits, instinctively. I've never had to tell them not to say it, they just know. Over time I've watered it down to a sort of Ned Flanders-esque utterance. Like, "Oh Craaa-gurgle-mickshmurgle."
*Hey, maybe this thread needs a related thread called "My seniors say awesome things."
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I was watching a few minutes of Man Vs. Wild a few days ago while nursing Duplo. Bear Grylls found a frog to eat and bit its head off (I couldn't hear well enough to know what was going on or I would have changed the channel first).
Lego: "What's he doing with the frog, Mommy?" Me: "He's eating it." Lego: "Does the frog like it?"
Hm. I have a feeling we're going to be having the "where food comes from" discussion fairly soon.
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Emma, while listening to some mp3s with headphones: "Do you know what I am listening to?" Me: "No, what?" Emma: "This song is called, 'I'm Walking In the Lines.'" Me: *suppressing giggles* Emma, irritated: "Don't laugh! It's from Johnny Cash, he's my favorite!"
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When the 5 mo old started fussing on the way home today the two year old sang:
The itsy-bitsy Charles was crying in the carseat. Mommy sang a song and . . . <pause> . . . John sang a song and <short pause> la la la la la. <hums the rest of the tune>
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Lego sings to Duplo all the time when he's fussy in the car. He'll also chant, "Don't cry, Duplo. We're going home, Duplo. You're okay, Duplo," just like I do.
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I was watching "Criminal Minds" with all four kids the other night. For those that don't know, it's a show about investigators who track down serial killers. I know, good family fun.
At any rate, a girl was outside trying to talk on her cell phone and the serial killer jumped out and grabbed her. I was surprised, a little, and let out a squeak.
That's when the 11 year old, Em, looked at me and said "Mom, what did you expect in a show like this? Jolly chipmunks?"
A few months ago, my oldest (15) was playing Gears of War on the Xbox 360. We were in a pretty intense moment, bad guys coming up through the floor, blood and guts flying everywhere on screen and she threw down the controller and said "I don't like this game! I'm out of ammo and I want a fuzzy unicorn to come on the screen!"
Which devolved into all the other kids laughing at the concept of an "ammo unicorn" which brings you happiness and cheer when you need it...and more ammunition.
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John sings a lot, and he often substitutes one or two words, like putting in his name or Charles' name, or inserting the word "cookie" at key points. This was the first time I've seen him try to write new lyrics (almost) from scratch, and it was really funny to see him start, restart, figure out he was in over his head, and then "la, la, la" his way out of it.
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My little one isn't so little any more, but I remember when he was about John's age, he was riding his trike on the sidewalk and managed to fall off and scrape his knee. I took him in and washed it and bandaged it and gave it a kiss, so it was all better. Then we went back out, and he got on his trike again, singing loudly, "Oh Susanna! Don't don't cry for me. I come from ballabama with a Band-Aid on my knee!"
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While shopping today, Sophie grabbed me and pulled me towards an animal-print pullover. She pulled it off the rack and held it up against her and said, "Cheetah print! See, Daddy, this is what it's all about."
*cringe* She's not even five.
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Oh! This is my favorite thing my son has ever said. When he was two years old, my husband had a pizza delivery job at night on top of his other job. My son always wanted to "help me pray" which meant to repeat what I was saying line for line. Anyway, one night, our prayer went like this:
Me: Dear Lord Son: Deeeer Loooord Me: Thank you for this day Son: Tank you fordis daaaaay Me: Thank you for everything you've given us Son: Tank you *mumble mumble* gibben us Me: And please bring Daddy home safely from work Son: And please bring me a pizza (Ummmm...what? So I tried again, enunciating carefully.) Me: And please...bring Daddy home...safely...from work. Son: And please...bring me...a...pizza.
At least his prayers are from the heart.
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My three year old just said "Casey took away my crap!"
Me: He took away your...crab?
Him: Yeah, my crap. Casey took away my crap!
Me: Hmm.
<minute later>
Me: He took away your "clapper"?
Him: Yeah, my clapper. Casey took away my clapper!
---
He's got a toy that claps when you pull the trigger.
It's always fun trying to figure out what he's saying so we can help him enunciate it correctly. Earlier today he wanted play dough and I went through pretzels, pencils, puzzles, and completely ran out of ideas until he spotted what he wanted on the shelf and could point to it.
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quote: I asked her what we should name our new cat, and she told me "kitty toothpaste Chapin" (Chapin is how she says my last name.)
What is up with this? I have a little boy in my Sunday School class with a stuffed horse named Toothpaste. Is toothpaste really so intriguing? Why not Floss? Or Shampoo?
As for the cursing...urgh. My son learned his first curse word from my 78-year-old grandma. She's a special lady, and WAY past reformation. (She still refers to my grandpa, from whom she is divorced, as a "Pistol-Packin' Pecker Head."*) So I let it pass. For my grandma, not my son. Our big struggle is the word "crap". It's been my crutch for a long, long time, but my kids know that it is off-limits, instinctively. I've never had to tell them not to say it, they just know. Over time I've watered it down to a sort of Ned Flanders-esque utterance. Like, "Oh Craaa-gurgle-mickshmurgle."
*Hey, maybe this thread needs a related thread called "My seniors say awesome things."
Yeah, you know, I don't know what the deal is. I myself always thought shampoo was better than tooth-paste because it made bubbles in the bathtub.
That's too funny about your grandma, mine was just the opposite, the worst she ever said was 'pot lickin' fool.' and that meant she was very upset.
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Me: Bridget, what do you want for dinner? Bridget: Barcle. Me: Sparkles? Bridget: No. Barcle. Me: Buckle? Bridget: No! BARCLE! Me: ...Barnacle? Bridget: Yes! Barcle!
(We went to the aquarium on Saturday... A little later she explained, "Eat barcle! I'm a saarfiss!" That would be, "I eat barnacles! I'm a starfish!" LOL.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Not really a funny anecdote, but this past Saturday, my sister called me on her cell phone while xmas shopping to ask me something. A minute later, she called me back and said, "Zoe wants to talk to you." Zoe is my 28 month old niece. I see her in person frequently, but I'd never talked to her on the phone before. I didn't know she knew how to use a phone. So my sister hands her the phone and I hear, "Ah Sha! Ah Sha!" Which is how she says, "Hi, Sean." Then I can hear my sister in the background saying,
"Say 'I'm shopping with mama.'" "Say 'I love you, Sean.'" "Say 'Bye, Sean.'"
At which point she says, "Ba Sha!" and hangs up.
It was the most awesomest thing ever.
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Little Boy (rubbing a box of candy on his face): "I love this candy, it's as soft as the wind."
My sister (at age four; on a fishing trip; said with a very Southern accent): "Catch one, catch one, Megan. I know you can do it."
My sister (during our great-grandfather's funeral service, in reference to a friend of the family): "Him looks like a mole!"
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Andrew (6.5) to his sister; "Now Mom, she just has a big boo-tay. But Dad, he's got this big hard tummy, and when I try to sit on his lap his big hard tummy punches me off."
I think we're both watching what we eat a little more now.
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When my grandmother died my nieces came up to the coffin at the viewing we had right before the service. They were 4 at the time. They climbed the little steps that had been placed there for them with their eyes wide open. One niece leaned to the other and said in a loud whisper
"Boy, she's REALLY dead"
We're not sure what they expected but we know Grandma got a big laugh out of that one as we chuckled quietly.
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Here's a couple I forgot about from my friend Rob's kids, who are the most well-behaved kids I have ever seen.
#1 Once, I visited Rob when his son Luke was five. The last time he had seen me was when he was three. There's no way he remembered me. I was speaking to Rob in his kitchen, when Luke walked in. I said, "Hi, Luke." Rob says, "Do you remember Sean?" Luke kind of looks me up and down for a few seconds, then says, "It's been a while."
#2 While I was working in Rob's office, his four year old daughter Melissa, who loves to talk, came in. She started talking while I was working on my computer. I occasionally interjected a "Yeah," or "Mmhmm," while she just talked non-stop. She ended up lying on the floor with her head towards me, and then looked at me and said, "I'm think I'm upside down - but I guess that's just how kids are."
#3 Another day, while working in Rob's office, I heard his wife Connie on the phone in the kitchen. Melissa walked in and started tugging on her saying, "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." But Connie was in such animated conversation that she didn't even have a chance to stop and say, "Hold on - I'm on the phone right now Melissa." So Melissa just kept going, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." After a minute or so of this, Luke (who was now seven) comes into the room and says to Melissa, "Mommy's on the phone right now. Is there something I can help you with?"
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quote:#3 Another day, while working in Rob's office, I heard his wife Connie on the phone in the kitchen. Melissa walked in and started tugging on her saying, "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." But Connie was in such animated conversation that she didn't even have a chance to stop and say, "Hold on - I'm on the phone right now Melissa." So Melissa just kept going, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." After a minute or so of this, Luke (who was now seven) comes into the room and says to Melissa, "Mommy's on the phone right now. Is there something I can help you with?"
quote:Originally posted by PSI Teleport: Oh! This is my favorite thing my son has ever said. When he was two years old, my husband had a pizza delivery job at night on top of his other job. My son always wanted to "help me pray" which meant to repeat what I was saying line for line. Anyway, one night, our prayer went like this:
Me: Dear Lord Son: Deeeer Loooord Me: Thank you for this day Son: Tank you fordis daaaaay Me: Thank you for everything you've given us Son: Tank you *mumble mumble* gibben us Me: And please bring Daddy home safely from work Son: And please bring me a pizza (Ummmm...what? So I tried again, enunciating carefully.) Me: And please...bring Daddy home...safely...from work. Son: And please...bring me...a...pizza.
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Sid has improved Emma's vocabulary, too. But I was so proud when she turned to me as Sid was driving home in Grandma's car and said, without prompting, "Sid doesn't fit in his carseat. His Grandma should get a new one. And she should have something behind her head."
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My 6yo son told us when he grows up he wants to teach 2nd grade at his school. We asked him why 2nd and he said because 2nd graders don't pick their noses!
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The 2-yr old class is singing “Little Drummer Boy” for the preschool Christmas program. John has been practicing all week. He grabs any cylindrical object he sees, tucks it under his arm and bangs on it while singing. Yesterday at the end of each phrase he would wave his hand in the air and say something that sounded like shakshh. I asked what he was doing, and he answered, “I’m playing the drums, but I have to play the cymbal in my mouth.”
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