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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My kids say awesome things. (Page 8)

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Author Topic: My kids say awesome things.
dkw
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"I saw a snotty nose today, but it wasn't attached to me. It was attached to a girl."
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Darth_Mauve
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Sasha found my old copy of "Win Loose and Draw". He doesn't have this reading thing down perfect yet. He reads most of the words great, but guesses at the difficult one--usually the last one.

Do you know how difficult it is to decipher a 9 year old (yes he turned nine on Thursday) drawing of not-quite common phrases.

My favorite three....

"Strong as an Ax"

"Dark House" (instead of Dark Horse. However, if you've been watching House, it could make sense.)

and my all time favorite...

"Light as a Father."

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rivka
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[Big Grin]

(9! No way!)

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imogen
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Sasha is 9?? Craziness.
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Tatiana
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Oh, my niece used to say "Hot as Blue Blazers!" I loved that one because it made me picture those wool blue blazers that some school uniforms have, and just sweating away in them since it's nearly always too hot here to wear such a thing. I thought it was a great phrase. [Smile]
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Tatiana
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Another one she used to say is "Get up you lazy bongbong!"
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PSI Teleport
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I think I cried when my son finally started saying "regular" instead of "reggy-old." It was his last mispronounced word. But I still derive some joy from hearing him read complex words out loud.
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Tatiana
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We still as a family mispronounce some things the way my little brother did when he was young, cause they were just so cute and fun to say that way. He's 47 now and a sysadmin at a large corporation. His early pronunciations of cinnamon, breakfast, and Vietnamese, though, will never die. (cimmanum, breftuss, Vietmanese)
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lobo
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K: Why is your tummy so big?
Mom: I have a BABY in my tummy
K: ::gives a sickened look:: you ATE a BABY?!?!? ::runs away::

That one is straight out of Bloom County

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PSI Teleport
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Tatiana: We do that too. In our family it's callipitter and bavin suit.
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PSI Teleport
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Me: It looks dark outside. I think it's going to rain.

Jillian: You mean that thing that food grows from?

(Poor children. This is what comes of being born in the desert.)

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DDDaysh
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"I don't think that's really a baby. It doesn't look like a fishy, it looks like a blob". - My son, when examining my Sister-In-Laws first sonogram photo.
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scifibum
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My middle son, 4:

"Dad? I'm your best kid."

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Raia
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Tee hee!
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malanthrop
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peas = "circle beans"
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Lissande
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"Tamidi" = tam ideme = let's go over there. We have a sentence! Should I feel left out it wasn't in English...? [Wink]

Then today, she signed "food", then pointed to Starbucks sign. Not even two years old and successfully brand-imprinted.

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ketchupqueen
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Ketchup Princess, about 1/2 an hour after she asked where KPC was and I answered that he was stuck in traffic: "Why is Abba trapped in parking?"
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Papa Moose
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A couple of my interactions with Squoose this week:

"Daddy. I'm ready to play Candy Land. Are you ready?"

"Not yet. I told you I need to finish what I'm doing, and it will only take a couple more minutes."

"Too bad. I'm ready now. Come over here."



"Daddy, what's wrong with your leg?"

"My knee hurts."

"Well don't do that!"



From Mooselet to Superstation: "That wasn't funny. If Daddy had said it, then it would be funny."

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DDDaysh
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My son pulled a classic on me today!

Azriel: Do you know where my rocket blaster game is?

Me: No, where did you put it?

Azriel: Moooooom, if I knew THAT, I wouldn't be LOOKING for it.

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Raia
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A kid in church this morning:

Pastor: What does "adoption" mean?
Kid 1: If you find a stray dog, and you take him in because nobody else wants him.
Pastor: That's a good definition! Anyone else?
Kid 2: Oh! Also, if you want an elephant, you can find one at the zoo.

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Godric
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This isn't funny, but I thought it was awesome...

Audrey stood up on a chair today, pointed at my wife and said, "Ma!" Then she pointed at me and said "Da!" Then, at herself and said "Drey!" Finally, the dog (whose name is Mojo), and said "Boo!"

That's the first time I've heard her try to say her own name. I have no idea why she calls the dog Boo.

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Nighthawk
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I think every child, at one point or another, calls their dog "Boo".
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Jhai
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My 20-month-old nephew, Sid, was recently visiting us from India (with his parents, of course).

He's still in the process of figuring out names. When he wants one of his parents' attention he'll cycle through all the names he's heard that seem plausible. So to get his father's notice we'd often hear something along these lines:
"Jijoo?" (brother-in-law)
"Depey?" (nickname)
"Dadu?" (grandfather)
"Dada?" (older brother)
and then eventually he'll get around to
"Baba?" (father)

Abhi was promptly named "Keno?" by Sid - which is just the question "Why?" in Bengali. We have no idea.

Then there were our dogs. He's seen dogs on the streets of India before, but has never been in close contact with any, so we were a bit worried about how he would handle our two large dogs.

Panda, the 90-lb Malamute, is a wuss, so we weren't surprised that he was scared of Sid. We were surprised that Sid loved that Panda would back away and then bark at him. The entire visit he'd follow Panda from room to room and talk to get the dog to bark. It became this odd game of hide-and-go-seek with Sid shouting out "Pande No" (pande means teacher/priest) to get the dog's attention while Panda tried to keep a safe distance between himself and the small squealing thing.

They're now back in India, and apparently all dogs he sees are named "Pande No".

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Traceria
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quote:
Originally posted by Jhai:
When he wants one of his parents' attention he'll cycle through all the names he's heard that seem plausible. So to get his father's notice we'd often hear something along these lines:
"Jijoo?" (brother-in-law)
"Depey?" (nickname)
"Dadu?" (grandfather)
"Dada?" (older brother)
and then eventually he'll get around to
"Baba?" (father)

This sounds like an older gentleman who is a friend of our family. He's always running through every girl's or woman's name in the family (there are a lot of females on this particular side) in hopes he'll hit the right one. Instead of say 60 months, though, he's more like 60 years old. [Wink]
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Darth_Mauve
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Sasha does not like Micheal Jackson. From what he's seen from the recent retrospectives, Micheal Jackson is strange. As we were walking down the aisle of the grocery store, by the Micheal Jackson posters, he didn't even look up as he said, "Micheal Jackson is the weirdest person ever. I bet he never got an A+ on his math test."
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TomDavidson
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Normal people are good at math?
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SenojRetep
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When I told Bryn (5) that President Obama had won 'an important award for ending fighting around the world' she thought hard for a second. Then her face visibly brightened. "It must be because I've been praying for him!" (she prays every night that 'The President will do his job well.')

Which is as good an explanation of the award as any I've heard.

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Armoth
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awwwww
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ludosti
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quote:
Originally posted by SenojRetep:
When I told Bryn (5) that President Obama had won 'an important award for ending fighting around the world' she thought hard for a second. Then her face visibly brightened. "It must be because I've been praying for him!" (she prays every night that 'The President will do his job well.')

That is so sweet. [Smile] Politics can be so ugly and depressing. We need more sweetness.
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Raia
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quote:
Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Normal people are good at math?

That must explain why I'm so strange.
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Darth_Mauve
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No Raia. We still aren't sure what explains that.

So the local scout troop took an historic tour of our small town--Washington Missouri.

At one point we were discussing the train station when the tour guide said, "And that first day in 1855 when the first train came all the way from St. Louis to Washington, one young newspaper reporter stepped off the train. He wrote an article for the paper about this first trip. He later became a very famous writer. Anybody know who he was....."

None of the kids answered.

Sasha looked up at me, "You read a lot. Do you know who he is."

"Yes Sasha, but the question is for you kids."

Silence.

The tour guide hinted, "He is probably the most famous writer from Missouri..."

One of the kids answered shyly, "Mark Twain."

"Correct" said the tour guide, then he noticed the blank stares of other kids. "Does anybody know what this newspaper reporter would some day write."

With out missing a beat the same kid responded, "Newspaper articles?"

The tour guide grabbed his forehead as if he were pushing back a headache. "Yes, but besides that..."

Another kid yelled, "Stories and such."

At this point the guide just gave up and moved on.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Oh dear. We're doomed!
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Raia
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quote:
Originally posted by Darth_Mauve:
No Raia. We still aren't sure what explains that.

Well, as long as we have people on the case...
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steven
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Last week I told Skyler that Darth Vader is more-or-less supposed to mean "Dark Father".

When I called her tonight, her greeting was, "Hello, Darth Vader."

Also, she referred to the kids at school as "pointy-headed kids". It's a Dilbert reference.

[Smile]

Both of those got me laughing pretty good.

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Raia
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That's cute. And I would just like to say that I think Skyler is a very pretty name. [Smile]
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happymann
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It's probably been years since I posted last, but I have been a faithful lurker. But I could not pass this up.

During a children's Sunday School lesson

Teacher: Name a time when you did something that made your parents proud.

Child: Um, 10 o'clock

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steven
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quote:
Originally posted by Raia:
That's cute. And I would just like to say that I think Skyler is a very pretty name. [Smile]

It's a good thing that me and her mom finally found that...we must have gone through 3 or 4 thousand names. She was originally going to be "Emma", but that was a co-worker's daughter's name.
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Noemon
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quote:
Originally posted by happymann:
It's probably been years since I posted last, but I have been a faithful lurker. But I could not pass this up.

During a children's Sunday School lesson

Teacher: Name a time when you did something that made your parents proud.

Child: Um, 10 o'clock

:: laugh ::

That was definitely a post worth coming out of lurkerdom to make.

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zgator
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Ryan having his second bowl of cereal this morning.

"I'm having a double bowl of cereal this morning. No, I'm going to have a triple bowl. No, wait, I'm going to have a fourter bowl."

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DDDaysh
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Me: Why did you cut your hair at school???
Azriel: Because I wanted a haircut.
Me: We just got your hair cut on Monday (two days before)
Azriel: But I don't like it.
Me: You picked it out!
Azriel: But I want it to be like Mr. Pollock's.
Me: How does Mr. Pollock have his hair?
Azriel: There's no hair on top, just on the back right here (bends around and fingers the back of his head.

Ugh!!!

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PSI Teleport
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My son came in from outside today severely disillusioned that he was unable to find any dinosaur bones while digging up the back yard. I to tell him, you know, that dinosaur bones are usually really far under the ground and not something that one person can dig up all alone.

His response: "I guess I'll have to wait until Bean (his little sister) gets out of the tub."

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dkw
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John had a funny one in the car the other day:

John: How are we going to get home?

Me: Well, first we'll take Larpenter Avenue . . .

John: We're going to take Larpenter Avenue?

Me: Yes.

John: How will all the other cars use it, then?

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rivka
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I think his genes are showing. [Wink]
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Pegasus
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My almost 4yr old daughter Ivy has a nerf gun and hands my brother another one, and says "I'm the bad guy, and you're the bad guy AND WE CAN BOTH SHOOT TED!!!"

I'm Ted.

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Dan_raven
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I went to my Uncle's funeral a few weeks ago. One of the great grandchildren had been to the viewing the day before. He came in, walked down the aisle and looked up at the casket. "Oh" he said, sounding disappointed, "Pa-Pa's still dead."
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Clive Candy
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Today at a family gathering I got to speak to a younger cousin of mine (about to turn three) I haven't seen in a while.

As soon as I started talking to her another cousin of mine got a book, and started pointing out words. The soon to turn 3 cousin of mine read out the words perfectly.

I later brought to her one of those simple kindergarten-esque books, and she pretty much read it aloud perfectly.

Apparently the way they discovered she could read was when at a store, some lady playfully held up a book to her and asked "what is this?" and the lady of course expected "book" but my two year old cousin said the word that was printed on the cover: "Dictionary."

The lady suggested that my little cousin has a photographic memory. She picked up how to read from tv captioning.

[ November 28, 2009, 06:04 AM: Message edited by: Clive Candy ]

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Clive Candy
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I'm just concerned about when they enroll her in school at age 5 -- if she could read that well now she'll be fairly ahead of her classmates and it seems kind of cruel to make her go through "ABCs" three years after she's mastered them.

edit: this may be the explanation. [Frown]

[ November 28, 2009, 05:16 AM: Message edited by: Clive Candy ]

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Sala
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Hmmm. Does she exhibit the other traits associated with hyperlexia: difficulty communicating by putting her own thoughts together rather than just reading individual words? Or any other aspects of autism? If not, she may just be a very precocious reader and very intelligent without the hyperlexia.
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Clive Candy
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I guess I need to have a discussion with her parents. The thing is they're not very educated so aren't aware of her apparent precociousness perhaps being sign of something else. I might be jumping to conclusions though because the child has other issues (severe skin condition).

The kid is definitely a bit unusual in other ways: she's observant and oddly quiet. Doesn't seem to talk unless spoken to.

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DDDaysh
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My son had a cute one when watching a movie the other day.

"Warriors never give up. Even if they're scared, they never give up. Warriors never give up, even if they're hurt, warriors never give up." <long pause> "Except, when they're dead, then warriors give up."

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