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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My kids say awesome things. (Page 7)

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Author Topic: My kids say awesome things.
TomDavidson
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You know what's funny? Sophie just told that very same joke today (the reverse of what is the traditional reversal).
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Sterling
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"You've been very patient on our trip through the supermarket, so I'd like to get you a treat. What would you like?"

"...Can I have a bagel?"

And she was serious. I love my daughter. [Smile]

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JennaDean
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quote:
"No, Haley! Don't run into the road! For you will surely die!"
I don't remember who first mentioned it, but now whenever I hear anything from Sophie I hear it in a Lola voice (from Charlie and Lola). It just fits so perfectly.

Any anytime I hear about anything from Squoose, I smile, because I named him. [Big Grin]

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Uprooted
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quote:
Originally posted by Annie:
"No, actually. There's no Sunday in Star Wars."

I love that, on several levels.
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SenojRetep
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Bryn: "Dad, infinity is bigger than any number, right?"
Me: "Right."
Bryn: "Just like love."

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scifibum
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Aw. [Big Grin]
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dkw
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"Get them out of there!"
"What?"
"There's something fizzing in my foot!"

Nothing on his foot, but very worried look on his face. The light dawns . . .

"Were you sitting with that foot underneath you?"
"Uh huh. And now there's something fizzing in there."

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JennaDean
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[Big Grin] That sounds like a perfect description of the feeling I used to try to describe to my mother when I was a child. I used to tell her there were worms in my foot. She never could get what I meant.
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rivka
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Just be glad you didn't become an episode of House. [Wink]
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Leonide
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Yeah, you might've ended up losing the foot.
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DaisyMae
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Just a bit of St. Patty's fun...

While changing my two-month old's diaper my six-year old asked, "Why is her poop green today?"

Me: I don't know.

Her: Probably because it's St. Patrick's Day.

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Brinestone
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Lego brought me Radiohead's My Iron Lung this evening and said he wanted to listen to music.

"You have interesting taste," I said. "Go give the CD to Daddy, and he'll play it on his computer for you."

Lego promptly brought the CD to Jon Boy and said, "I want to listen to Interesting Taste."

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ClaudiaTherese
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[Smile]
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Raia
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I want a kid.
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Annie
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That's super cute, Ruth. [Smile]
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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by Brinestone:
Lego brought me Radiohead's My Iron Lung this evening and said he wanted to listen to music.

"You have interesting taste," I said. "Go give the CD to Daddy, and he'll play it on his computer for you."

Lego promptly brought the CD to Jon Boy and said, "I want to listen to Interesting Taste."

Does Lego actually prefer Radiohead, or did he just grab random music? I desperately want to believe the former is true. [Wink]
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Jon Boy
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I'm not sure whether he likes Radiohead, but he apparently enjoyed U2's Pop the other day, which I take to be a good sign. He actually likes to dance to quite a bit of my music.
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Traceria
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I like to shamelessly steal kid stories from friends. These are way too funny not to post.

quote:
R: I can't buckle my car seat! The straps were tightened!!
Mom: Who tightened them?
R: GOD did it. God ALWAYS tightens my car seat straps. God always does bad things.
Mom: No, R., God NEVER does bad things. So if tightening your car seat straps is a bad thing, we know God did not do it.
R: Oh. It was the ALIENS. (pronounced OWL-iens).

A few days later, we were all in the car and we were passing by some construction. There were traffic cones, and a blinking arrow sign held in place by sandbags.
R: There's the pigbags.
Mom: What?
R: The PIG BAGS.
J: Those little bags. They have pigs in them.
Mom: lots of little pigs or one big pig?
J: One little pig. With some food in the bag too so the pig stays alive.
Mom: How do they get the pigs to lay still and not walk away?
J: Well, they put pig medicine in the bag too that makes the pig want to sleep. They mix it in with the pig food, so when the pig wakes up he eats a little of the food and then goes back to sleep.
R: Let's stop the car and get a pigbag!
J: Yes and we will take it home and give it good pig food without medicine and then we will have a pet pig!

They were very disappointed that we did not stop the car and get a pigbag.


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malanthrop
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My daughter asked, "What are these bumps on my tongue?"
My wife replied, "Taste buds"
She replied, "oooooh, gross. Taste butts!"

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Noemon
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Traceria, that's great! Do you have any idea how they got the pig bag idea into their heads? Is thier parent going to go find a construction area that isn't heavily trafficked and let them get out and inspect the bags?
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Traceria
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quote:
Originally posted by Noemon:
Traceria, that's great! Do you have any idea how they got the pig bag idea into their heads? Is thier parent going to go find a construction area that isn't heavily trafficked and let them get out and inspect the bags?

I did quiz my friend (the mom of the two kids is a friend of this friend), and she said the younger kid, R., is three and the older one is four or five and has a creative and highly active imagination. I'm afraid that's all the explanation I've got, though it seems all the more amazing of an idea because of that!
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scifibum
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quote:
Originally posted by malanthrop:
My daughter asked, "What are these bumps on my tongue?"
My wife replied, "Taste buds"
She replied, "oooooh, gross. Taste butts!"

Reminds me of a funny thing my 5 year old said yesterday. He saw a picture of a Transformer toy in a mailer, and asked "who" it was. (He loves Transformers but only knows the names of 6 or 7 of them.) It wasn't labeled so I tried making up a name. "Sonic...B-" I stalled on thinking of a good B word. He piped up with "Butt!" My wife cracked up (probably thinking of me [Embarrassed] ). Sensitive kid that he is he quickly came up with "Blast" instead, which I thought made a pretty good Transformer name: Sonic Blast.
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JennaDean
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Pig bags?!? [ROFL]

Sonic Blast ... isn't that Sonic's answer to the Dairy Queen Blizzard?

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martha
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Sonic Blast sounds like a Power Ranger to me. Mystic Force, Jungle Fury, and Sonic Blast. [Smile]
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scifibum
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Well now those sound like energy drink flavors to me.
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Sterling
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My daughter: Does my face look clean?
Me: Um... From where I'm standing. Did mommy ask you to wash your face?
Yes.
Then you should wash your face.
But I already did!
Really? When?
Hmm?
When?
{points to the bathroom}
*sigh* Not where, sweetie. When.
When what?
{head against wall} Dear, our daughter has trapped me in a vaudville comedy routine...

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rivka
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*giggle*
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Raia
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Ok, so I spend a lot of my time babysitting and nanny-ing. I may not be old enough to have my own kids, but I am certainly old enough to pass on pearls of wisdom from my charges. [Smile]

So, Maggie (5):

"What if I caught a star and held it in my tummy and I would glow at night? The wind would blow me up there and bring me back."

"My dad's taller than weasels."

"I'm just like a bag full of food...a talking bag."

"A train is absolutely bigger than corn."

"What if the sidewalk had a part that wasn't there, and you rode your bike and hit something that wasn't there...a pointy thing that wasn't there?" (This one was her trying to grapple with the concept of invisibility...I think.)

"Mommy, have you ever dipped God in ketchup" (My personal favorite -- there was some sort of lead-up to this that explained it somewhat, but I've since forgotten it.)

"My boredness is getting lower. Less and less of me is bored!" (This was said with great excitement during a long car trip.)

"Mom, I'm more about butterflies and glitter." (Said to her mother while shopping with her grandmother to get Maggie an Easter dress. Mom and Grandma picked out several lovely and age-appropriate dresses, while Maggie went for the why-are-there-these-dresses-for-young-children trampy numbers, because she wanted to look like Dancing with the Stars.)

Another set-up here: when Maggie first started asking what thought bubbles or dialogue bubbles are in comic books and such, she said something like, "I had a dream and I couldn't remember something, so I looked up at that cloud above my head to see what I was thinking."

On Election Day last November Maggie got in the car after school and expounded upon Abraham Lincoln as follows:
"Oh, and there's a name I remember. It's Abraham Lincoln. He was sitting down eating popcorn. He was watching a movie, and then they killed him. They had a picture of him after he finished eating his popcorn."

Maggie will periodically pick up some random object in the room, hold it behind her back, and say she has a present for me. She came up to me at one point saying this, but her arm was cocked back over her shoulder as though she'd just done the backswing for a tennis serve. I said, "You're not going to whack me with whatever you're holding, are you?" to which she responded, "No, it's not a whacking present." Hmmm...

Dialogue between Maggie and her mother:
Maggie: Is the world really full of magic?
Mom: Well, no.
Maggie (indignant): Yes, it is!
Mom: How do you know?
Maggie: Because things change. Seasons, months, days...

Naomi (8):

"I want to be the child who sits on Shani's head!"

Leah (6):

(Jamming to her iPod when I walked in the room, looked at me and announced) "You're always beautiful to meeeee!"

(After having made something at WonderLab camp that she didn't want her sister to see) "SHANI! Will you destroy Naomi while I hide this?" (I'm fairly certain she meant DISTRACT Naomi...)

While both girls were in my car, I was playing the Mulan soundtrack for them... When "Reflection" came on, I was singing along and kind of dancing in the front seat, trying to amuse them. Leah looked at me solemnly and said "Shani, you're rocking out too much."

I think that's enough for now...

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Raymond Arnold
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[ROFL]
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Tatiana
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Dialogue between Maggie and her mother:
Maggie: Is the world really full of magic?
Mom: Well, no.
Maggie (indignant): Yes, it is!
Mom: How do you know?
Maggie: Because things change. Seasons, months, days...

Wisdom out of the mouths of babes.

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aiua
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We were at a get-together and this young girl, perhaps four, approached my father and, pointing to his paunch, questioned, "Why are you still eating? You look full."

He passed on dessert.

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zgator
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During the last week of pre-K for my 5-yr old son, they went over the letter "Z". When asked to draw pictures of things that start with Z, he drew a zombie. I was so proud of him.
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ketchupqueen
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Emma: "I am always right. And sometimes a little wrong."
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Noemon
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:: laugh ::

What was the context for that one, KQ?

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ketchupqueen
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There was no context. She said it, out of the blue, while helping her sister get her pull-up on. [ROFL]
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dread pirate romany
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quote:
Originally posted by aiua:
We were at a get-together and this young girl, perhaps four, approached my father and, pointing to his paunch, questioned, "Why are you still eating? You look full."

He passed on dessert.

[ROFL]
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Noemon
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quote:
Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
There was no context. She said it, out of the blue, while helping her sister get her pull-up on. [ROFL]

[Smile] That's great!
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Raia
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Another pearl from Leah today:

I was folding a piece of paper in half so that I could tear it along the crease.

Leah looked at me and said "We have scissors, you know. We're not in olden times."

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ketchupqueen
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Emma (this was actually a while back, but it has become a running joke):

"Cats are tidy, because they poop in their litterbox. Dogs are loosey, because they poop on the sidewalk."

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ketchupqueen
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quote:
Originally posted by Raia:
Another pearl from Leah today:

I was folding a piece of paper in half so that I could tear it along the crease.

Leah looked at me and said "We have scissors, you know. We're not in olden times."

[ROFL]
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scifibum
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My three year old Trevor has adopted a funny pattern of saying certain things:

"Ice cream: Daddy says yes. "
"Go to wal-mart: Mommy says no."
"Do a puzzle: Daddy says yes."

What makes it funnier is he tends to issue these declarations before he knows whether they are true. [Smile]

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Armoth
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My sister was pregnant with my niece and she had to explain to her son what was going on (my nephew)

Mom: A, do you know what Mommy has in her tummy?
A: ::shakes head::
Mom: Mommy has a BABY in her tummy!
A: ::stuffs a pillow under his shirt:: I have an ALLIGATOR in MY tummy!

Different pregnant mom and different kid:

K: Why is your tummy so big?
Mom: I have a BABY in my tummy
K: ::gives a sickened look:: you ATE a BABY?!?!? ::runs away::

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adenam
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[ROFL]
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Christine
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LOL

My 3-year-old is in his why phase, and sometimes he stumps me, like when he asked "Why is the sky big?"

Today topped them all. He asked, "Why is my penis round?"

Um....

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Darth_Mauve
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Sasha: Momma, you and Daddy can't dance.
Momma: Why not.
Sasha: Its just odd. Daddy's bald and your old.

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rivka
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Christine, because if it were square it would be sharp? You might point out that arms and legs are also "round".
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Christine
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quote:
Originally posted by rivka:
Christine, because if it were square it would be sharp? You might point out that arms and legs are also "round".

That occurred to me later, but too late. I have trouble answering these things in the moment and later I'm not sure he remembers.
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rivka
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Odds are he'll ask again.

Probably loudly, and in public. [Wink]

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Christine
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LOL
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Sterling
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My daughter is spinning back and forth in place while sitting in an overstuffed chair, marker in hand.

My wife: "Athena, careful! Don't get marker on that- thing!"

My daughter pauses, looks back, looks at her mother, and says, "Mommy, that 'thing' is a chair."

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