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Bob used to worry that people hated him because he kept such a neat desk, but then he realized that people hated him for so many more reasons than that and that, in point of fact, his desk was a complete mess.
Bob's clothing always looked better on the people who'd donated it.
Bob managed to avoid all of the seven deadly sins, but he was completely under the power of the 32 sins that'll make you midly ill for about a week.
It got so bad that Bob finally had to go on a 12-step program to wean himself from 12-step programs.
Bob prided himself on being out in the fringe of society where no support groups dare to tread.
Bob led a very compartmentalized life, and would continue to do so for 5 to 20.
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Dan liked to play with large electrodes and high voltage batteries, and those volunteers who dared him to find if they were in fact, the path of least resistance.
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Bob wasn't a blank slate, he was more of a muddy stream someone had tried to write on with a big floppy vine.
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Dan had a sneaky suspicion that he had lived this life before, only better, and involving fewer green olives.
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Bob's sole reason for going to church was so that he could safely yell out "Amen" whenever the voices in his head came out with a really good bit of sarcasm.
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Matt felt a very deep conviction to immediately report anyone he saw flouting the city ban on flagpole sitting.
Matt once unsuccessfully attempted to jump his motorcycle over the grand canyon. His failure was due mainly to the fact that he didn’t have a motorcycle and nobody would give him a ride to Arizona.
Matt was a man with a song in his heart. Except when he went through a tunnel and lost reception on his AM/FM pacemaker.
Matt thought having two different kinds of fish in his aquarium entitled him to use the word dichotomy in regular conversation.
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Annie had overcome flagpole sitting years earlier, due less to moral fortitude than to the sheer uncomfort of the habit.
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quote:Annie over-employed the subjunctive, lest it fade from her vocabulary.
quote:Matt once unsuccessfully attempted to jump his motorcycle over the grand canyon. His failure was due mainly to the fact that he didn’t have a motorcycle and nobody would give him a ride to Arizona.
quote:Matt thought having two different kinds of fish in his aquarium entitled him to use the word dichotomy in regular conversation.
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Dan sought to convert the world to his way of thinking, as soon as he found a way of thinking that didn't give him headaches.
The phrase "Ugly is only skin deep" was never applied to Dan, for good reason.
Dan was a master of the Ancient forgotten martial art of "cho Mu Tan" which was forgotten mainly becuase of its complete uselessness in being able to defend oneself.
Irving was the 142 fastest gun in the west. A hundred and forty one were faster than he, but he was looking for number One Forty Three.
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Jeffrey marched to the beat of the same drum, but he was humming a different tune.
Jeffrey always arranged his m&m's alphabetically before he ate them.
Jeffrey believed that underwear was for cowards and people wearing jeans.
Jeffrey thought that the light-headed sensation was due to his gradual balding.
In his younger and more vulnerable years, Jeffrey's father imparted to him a piece of advice which he didn't pay any attention to because he was reading something at the time.
Jeffrey had Peter Pan syndrome from an early age.
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Sasha knew that the only course of action was to burn down the house when the Thing-under-the-bed started having secret meetings with the Moster in the closet.
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She enjoyed reading, thinking and other quiet activities such as quietly following people late at night.
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Bob was the only person in the history of American jurisprudence to subpoena himself -- it was never served though because he kept ducking out when he least expected it.
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Dan held a presidential primary in his own head. Hussein won most of the votes, but Daffy Duck had a good second place showing.
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Little did Bob know that when they said he'd be cured, they would just dip him in brine and stick him in a smokehouse for 20 days.
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Matt promoted this to his number one favorite thread, but didn’t tell homosexuality thread number 73 because he didn’t want to hurt its feelings.
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Abby would have slept with one eye open, but she hated the crusty feeling she got in the morning...
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Sometimes Abby wondered just what the heck she was doing with her life... ...And then she remembered, she was posting on Hatrack...
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Bob was like a broken clock -- he was right twice per day -- except that he was more like a broken calendar.
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