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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » One line descriptions of people (Page 17)

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Author Topic: One line descriptions of people
Annie
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When Annie left a room, people tended to let her linger in their thoughts for hours, mostly out of sheer morbid curiosity.
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Annie
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Annie could keep a secret as well as a really bad spy.
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Wussy Actor
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Just for kicks, Matt filled out his income tax forms in roman numerals and paid his bill in pennies.

Matt brought a suave, James Bond-like, demeanor to the position of assistant garage door installer.

After years of hard work, Matt realized that “owner of the world’s largest can opener collection” is not really all that enviable a title.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Dan...are you just posting your favorites? Seems like we've seen those before.

Bob was blessed with a really poor memory and consequently lived his life in a perpetual state of surprise.

Bob's use of colorful metaphors was really just a cover for the fact that he couldn't string a coherent sentence together.

Everything about Bob -- his hair, his clothing, and even his attitudes -- was best described as "wind blown."

Bob cheated at Solitaire and lost.

Bob approached his career the way a three-year-old approaches a tall stack of building blocks.

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jehovoid
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If the human race was a cosmic hitchhiker, Jeffrey was the thumb.

Killing kittens wasn't fun for Jeffrey, but dammit, it's what he was good at.

Jeffrey would often compliment someone else's post just for the return compliment.

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Ryuko
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Like a lighter, Abby seemed innocuous until someone knew just what to say to set her off, at which point she became violently fiery.

Abby didn't limit herself to shooting off her mouth, she did it with the rest of her limbs as well.

Abby had the aspect of someone who could go off at any moment except when she actually felt that way; this she used to her advantage.

Abby was free with laughter, but not with smiles.

Abby had built a wall between her emotions and her face.

Certain verses were such a part of Abby that sometimes when she was half-asleep, she felt that she was made of them.

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pooka
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Faye had a mind like a steel trap with a dead bear in it.
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Dan_raven
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Dan thought his redundancy was unique, but he didn't have the memory to be sure.
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Bob_Scopatz
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pooka...LOL!

Bob was a man who was hard on cell phones.

Bob liked Christmas lights so much that he had a string of them surgically implanted under his skin.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was so childish and illogical that no-one could follow his choo-choo of thought.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob lived his life according to a very detailed roadmap of a town he did not live in.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was a maverick, or maybe he was a Pinto, or a Vega -- anyway, he was some sort of crappy car from the 1970's.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob fell asleep writing about himself
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob wasn't important enough to have an inferiority complex.

Bob was a real lady-killer who would melt the girls hearts -- reason enough to hold him in a maximum security facility if you ask me.

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lcarus
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Joe was the type of person who tried to e-mail his friend Bob, only to be balked by the fact that his e-mail address was hidden from his profile, and Hatrack's e-mail thingy would not forward the message. Ever resourceful, though, Joe was also the type to send the e-mail to every potentially out of date e-mail addy he had lingering in his contact list for Bob, and hope his friend received it.

Joe was also the type of person who was currently on AIM.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was the type of person who would see his friend's post hours too late and call the friend's house while he was out rehearsing for Barefoot in the Park but then promise to call on Wednesday when his friend would be in.

After much trial and error, Bob finally narrowed down all his problems to a single source -- the stuffed monkey he'd been given as a gift from a stranger many years before.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was so shy, he had to get drunk to discuss the weather . . . with friends.
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Ophelia
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Lindsay's roommate dressed not wisely, but too well.
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jehovoid
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In high school, Jeffrey was voted most likely to die from choking on his own saliva.

Jeffrey was a self-made man, but a plastic-surgeon-made woman.

Jeffrey viewed the world through a pair of prescription rose-colored glasses.

If Jeffrey didn't know what it was or what it was used for, then by golly he would tinker around with it until he found out.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was so full of whimsy one morning he just up and floated away.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob had half a mind to...no, that's it, Bob just had half a mind.
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rivka
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Which half?
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kwsni
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Hominy was dead, but that wasn't the problem.

Ni!

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Bob_Scopatz
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rivka: Why the witty half, of course! [Razz]
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Ryuko
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Abby was so easy to cheer up that it unsettled even her.
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Ryuko
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Abby was slowly becoming reaccustomed to the idea of post-whoring.
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Dr. Seuss
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BECKY! That line isn't for here...
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Ryuko
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The possible negative consequences of her actions hovered inexorably above her head.
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kwsni
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is too! it's a PERFECT one line discription!

the story won't suffer for me having posted it.

Ni!

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Bob_Scopatz
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Once people understood that Bob truly enjoyed being confused, everything made perfect sense.
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Ryuko
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Once people understood that Abby truly enjoyed confusing them, they were wary of playing cooperative games with her.
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rivka
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Once Rivka was confused.
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Dan_raven
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Dan had half a mind to...well, actually he had a closet full of minds he took home from his job at the mortuary, but that wasn't important here.

Dan was confused by Confucius, which Dan considered far better than being budded by Buddha.

He was not so much Yin to her Yang, as Cinnamon to her Broccoli.

He stood as tall and proud as his five foot three inch body would allow in its pink tights and chartruese crepe ruffles.

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jehovoid
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Jeffrey had the reflexes of a cat, which is why he always grew suddenly hungry whenever he heard a can-opener.
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dkw
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Dana was the kind of person who knew exactly which end of the screwdriver to hit the nail with.

Though she often hit her finger instead.

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jehovoid
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If brain cells were Jews, then Jeffrey was a Hitler, and his skull a veritable Auschwitz.

Jeffrey ate his cookie dough raw not because he was lazy, but because he had a strong sense of adventure.

Jeffrey never shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, but he did drop his fork in Hooters just to watch the waitress pick it up.

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Dan_raven
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Jev, who hasn't.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was so full of questions about life he couldn't decide whether to live it or end it.
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jehovoid
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That just made me think, we should have a thread devoted to one line descriptions of peoples. For instance:

For the French life is an art, of which they are all harsh critics.

Although I guess this would just become a stockpile of stereotypes, instead of the people thread, which is a stockpile of idiosyncracies. I should've just made it into a Dobie, or combined it with the one I already did. Oh well.

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Dan_raven
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Five Faces of Evil

John, an almost invisibly average looking man in his middle years called this gathering together, for only John's uncompromising bueaurocratic heart could consider and flawlessly, uncaringly, implement such a plot.

Baron Raphael Elan arrived late, as was his desire which, in his perfectly tailored silk suit, was how he did most everything, and out of his suit, how he did most everyone.

T-17 was a self replicating, self aware, all destructive computer virus with no wit, no voice, no heart, and no way it could ever be stopped.

The Reverend Doctor Jimmy Antigone was a master at twisting the sacred into the profane, and the profane into the sacred and himself with his down home ruffled suit and killer smile, into the hearts of those who wanted easy salvation.

Jenny Baker was the most dangerous and evil of them all, being a sweet looking, spoiled twelve year old girl who firmly believed the world revolved around her, and that anyone who did not believe that she knew best were dangerous and had to die, preferably slowly but without too much of a mess.

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BannaOj
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BannaOJ has obscene thoughts partially involving Opus pop into her mind every time she sees the "Smack the Penguin" thread title.
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pooka
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Jeremiah was a Balrog.
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Ayelar
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Aja was the kind of girl who never noticed her bathroom lacked electrical outlets.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Bob was like water to a drowning man.
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jehovoid
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"Arrive late," is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

pooka-- that was awesome!

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Dan_raven
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Pookah [Smile]

Let me continue--

Galdaf sings, "Jerimiah was a Balrog,
the Demon in the mine.
I never understood a single word he said,
but he had some fun a die'n.

Yes we had some fun a die'n."

[ January 23, 2004, 12:55 PM: Message edited by: Dan_raven ]

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jehovoid
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"Woe to Middle Earth;
All the rings are cursed.
Woe to the hobbits and the dwarves and men,
Woe to Lorien."

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Dan_raven
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[Hail] Jev
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pooka
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Faye was so culturally limited, she only knew the first line of "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog" from watching "28 Days" with Sandra Bullock and Viggo Mortensen.
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jehovoid
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That's what I think about now whenever I hear the song too. It never dawned on me that that was Viggo Mortensen until now though. After LotR, I started seeing him in all kinds of other movies that he had already done.
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