FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The monkey's paw -- a game (Page 13)

  This topic comprises 31 pages: 1  2  3  ...  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  ...  29  30  31   
Author Topic: The monkey's paw -- a game
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, don't worry Elizabeth, someone does. Unfortunately, that someone is you.

I wish that I could come up with a gag Christmas gift for my office Christmas party this year that was as funny as the gift I gave last year.

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AbeLinclon
Member
Member # 6923

 - posted      Profile for AbeLinclon   Email AbeLinclon         Edit/Delete Post 
"I wish that I could come up with a gag Christmas gift for my office Christmas party this year that was as funny as the gift I gave last year."

You do, It's a bloody knife sticking though a model of his your boss' ex-boss' head. You're boss laughs so hard he dies. You are charged with second deggree murder. An are sent to prison for a double murder.

Posts: 42 | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
beverly
Member
Member # 6246

 - posted      Profile for beverly   Email beverly         Edit/Delete Post 
Hmmm, no wish to respond to.

Noemon: While I don't think that would make either of us "very uncomfortable", if she went around in one of those french maid lingerie type outfits, we would probably speak up. [Smile]

Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Vadon
Member
Member # 4561

 - posted      Profile for Vadon           Edit/Delete Post 
Technically, she couldn't be convicted of second degree, that's where you don't plan ahead on killing a person, however, when you see someone you knowing kill them on purpose...

Best she could get is Manslaghter, where she never intended to kill her boss, however, in her actions he died... Though that would be doubtfull too. Just thought I'd add that! ^_^

Just to keep the ball rolling... I wish I had one of these lovely robotic arms to build. http://www.crustcrawler.com/downloads/armpics/pages/Arm%20Pictures%20001_jpg.htm

Posts: 1831 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
beverly
Member
Member # 6246

 - posted      Profile for beverly   Email beverly         Edit/Delete Post 
Unfortunately, the monkey paw is confused by your vaguely phrased wish, and in the midst of wondering, "Does he want the arm to build with, or does he want to build the arm," it decides to just toast you to a crisp instead.

I wish my heel would quit hurting.

[ October 15, 2004, 05:30 PM: Message edited by: beverly ]

Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Megan
Member
Member # 5290

 - posted      Profile for Megan           Edit/Delete Post 
Your heel stops hurting...but this is the result of an unfortunate accident you experience while visiting a chocolate factory. You fell into one of the machines, and now you have no legs below the knees. Shouldn't have tried to steal a taste!

I wish I didn't have to get up early tomorrow.

Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
She? You mean me?

Maybe this transformation into Farmgirl that Christy was talking about went farther than I'd thought!

[ October 15, 2004, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Bev, I didn't really think it would make you guys too uncomfortable; if it did, you wouldn't allow it to continue. Perhaps I should have said "vaguely uncomfortable". But hey, I get points for inter-forum humor.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
Megan,

granted, but it's because you stay up all night and now you're a real zombie. No, I mean a real one. Withe gray skin and the moans and the arms held rigidly in front -- that kind of zombie.

I wish I could scuplt like Michelangelo.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hobbes
Member
Member # 433

 - posted      Profile for Hobbes   Email Hobbes         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, you're dead, just like your hero.

I wish wishes were fishes.

Hobbes [Smile]

Posts: 10602 | Registered: Oct 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
beverly
Member
Member # 6246

 - posted      Profile for beverly   Email beverly         Edit/Delete Post 
You (and everyone else) are buried alive in fishes. Oooo, the smell!

I wish Porter liked cats and horses.

(Noemon: "Vaguely uncomfortable" may have been more accurate, but perhaps not as humorous. And not as evil. [Evil] BTW, Porter got a kick out of it. [Smile] )

Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mr_porteiro_head
Member
Member # 4644

 - posted      Profile for mr_porteiro_head   Email mr_porteiro_head         Edit/Delete Post 
*granted* Unfortunately, I now no longer like beef, pork, and poultry.

I wish that the things that are good for me tasted better than the things that are bad for me.

Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
They are! And we all eat like kings! And die of heavy metal poisoning!

I wish that the patch for Jagged Alliance II: Wildfire would be made available for download.

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
beverly
Member
Member # 6246

 - posted      Profile for beverly   Email beverly         Edit/Delete Post 
[ROFL]
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Good lord! How did you guys slip in with so many responses in the two minutes it took me to write up my response to Hobbes' wish?

Bev--true, wouldn't have been as funny, or as evil, but what can you do? Glad Porter liked it. [Big Grin]

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
They do Porter! In fact, they taste so much better than the bad stuff, or than anything else you could imagine, that you find yourself completely unable to stop eating. You discover that the phrase "too much of a good thing" applies even to healthy food as you inexorably grow heavier and heavier.

The silver lining to this is that you quickly become so obese that you qualify for funding for one of those Little Rascal scooters that the elderly people in the commercials seem so thrilled about.

My wish still stands.

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mr_porteiro_head
Member
Member # 4644

 - posted      Profile for mr_porteiro_head   Email mr_porteiro_head         Edit/Delete Post 
Awesome! I'm going to put an orange flag on it, and then drive halfway on the street -- just the right amount so that people in cars behind me think about going around me, but still out to far for them to be able to do it.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Of course, given your vast bulk, accidentally tipping the thing is a real possibility when you try a stunt like that.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mr_porteiro_head
Member
Member # 4644

 - posted      Profile for mr_porteiro_head   Email mr_porteiro_head         Edit/Delete Post 
Curse you!
*shakes fist*

Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MEC
Member
Member # 2968

 - posted      Profile for MEC   Email MEC         Edit/Delete Post 
granted, however when you download it, you get a virus attached to your file and it destroys your hard drive.

I wish that you would forget to breathe.

Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

 - posted      Profile for sarcasticmuppet   Email sarcasticmuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted. But I forgot to tell you something really important: You need to watch out for...*gasp*

I wish I would start breathing again.

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celia60
Member
Member # 2039

 - posted      Profile for celia60   Email celia60         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, but you're in a cornstarch factory.

I wish I had a coke with cherry syrup in it.

Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
zgator
Member
Member # 3833

 - posted      Profile for zgator   Email zgator         Edit/Delete Post 
You start breathing again, but unfortunately you've already been buried.

I wish I could go home early.

Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dkw
Member
Member # 3264

 - posted      Profile for dkw   Email dkw         Edit/Delete Post 
You’re fired.

I wish I had some chocolate.

Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
You do, but it's really old and terribly bad waxy kind of chocolate, so you have to struggle with yourself NOT to eat it, but you give in and get terribly ill and now have a taste aversion to all things chocolate!

I wish people would do what I told them 7 years ago.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted! Unfortunately, what you told them 7 years ago was (and I quote) "I really don't get this whole 'internet dating' thing. Do me a favor, would you? If you ever hear that I'm doing something crazy like marrying some woman I met on the internet after only having met her a couple of times, shoot me, will you".

Nice knowing ya'

I wish that someone would buy my house from me for 1.5 million dollars.

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted. Too bad your house was sitting on top of an oil field and the largest find of gold in the last 72 years. It's worth billions.

I wish I had the mineral rights to Alaska.

by the way Noemon...that was HILARIOUS!!! [ROFL]

[ October 18, 2004, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rivka
Member
Member # 4859

 - posted      Profile for rivka   Email rivka         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted. Sadly, they come with a lifetime of haunting by Seward's ghost . . . and he's had over 100 years to get creative, and is still ticked about the whole Folly business.



I wish all my students' tests were properly graded already.

[ October 18, 2004, 10:42 PM: Message edited by: rivka ]

Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MEC
Member
Member # 2968

 - posted      Profile for MEC   Email MEC         Edit/Delete Post 
To celia60's: granted, however the coke is stale.

To Rivka's: granted, however they are now graded properly because you have been replaced by a new teacher, because you died.

I wish I wasn't sick right now.

Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
MEC...talk about a death wish!!! LOL

I wish for my next 3 days of interviews to go smooothly and provide needed data...

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
[Big Grin] [Hat] Thanks Bob! I was pretty proud of that one!
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celia60
Member
Member # 2039

 - posted      Profile for celia60   Email celia60         Edit/Delete Post 
Bob, granted. The needed data reveals that you must spend the next 6 months on this issue with lots of unpaid overtime.

I wish someone would grant my wish in the next post instead of having to wait for a later user to pick up on the fact that I've been skipped yet again.

Posts: 3956 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, however the thrill of having this wish granted is blunted by the fact that you've essentially wasted a wish since you gained absolutely nothing and, in fact, being noticed isn't really all it's cracked up to be.

I wish I could eat out every night!

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dkw
Member
Member # 3264

 - posted      Profile for dkw   Email dkw         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted. Unfortunately you’re going to live in Radcliffe and there’s only one restaurant. And it’s not exactly haute cuisine.

I wish the above wasn’t true for me as well. [Big Grin]

Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Little_Doctor
Member
Member # 6635

 - posted      Profile for Little_Doctor   Email Little_Doctor         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, But you are in an alternate universe Radcliffe now!
Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Defenestraitor
Member
Member # 6907

 - posted      Profile for Defenestraitor   Email Defenestraitor         Edit/Delete Post 
" "
Granted! You are now lost in oblivion.

Celia... your wish was so powerful that it is still being granted.

I wish the next poster would grant Celia another wish.

Posts: 236 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted! Of course, you should have taken into account the fact that celia is Evil, and that biting the hand that feeds her is almost a matter of course. Her wish would have been to see you twisting in the wind. You are now hanging from a gibbet.

I wish that Porter would grow a moustache that looked like this guy's.

[ October 19, 2004, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: Noemon ]

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

 - posted      Profile for sarcasticmuppet   Email sarcasticmuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted. But now Porter's the evil twin instead of you. And kills you.

I wish I had the perfect halloween costume.

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anna
Member
Member # 2582

 - posted      Profile for Anna           Edit/Delete Post 
You have. Unfotunataly, it is so perfect that people actually think you're a real mass murderer, and you're hanged to the first tree.
I wish I have the big book about the Sims 2 (easy to guess the drawback for that one [Wink] )

Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MEC
Member
Member # 2968

 - posted      Profile for MEC   Email MEC         Edit/Delete Post 
granted, however you can never enjoy the game as you would have if you had not gotten it.

I wish that I had knowledge of everything and could completely control time and space.

Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MEC
Member
Member # 2968

 - posted      Profile for MEC   Email MEC         Edit/Delete Post 
I have decided to grant all the ungranted wishes.

shan page 2: granted, but it fell in the dirt, and bugs are all over it.

polio page 3: granted, however whenever someone seeks you out for a date because your picture is so hot, they punch you in the face when they meet you and see what you really look like.

kaioshin00 page 4: granted, you burn your hands every time you do it though.

That's all I've found for now, I'll put some more up when I get some more free time.

[ October 20, 2004, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: MEC ]

Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anna
Member
Member # 2582

 - posted      Profile for Anna           Edit/Delete Post 
MEC : granted. Unfortunately, those annoying humans keep bothering you with their ridiculous prayers.
I wish I could keep the books from the library as long as I want.
EDIT to add : I thought someone would tell me that any thing from the Sims 2 would destroy any private life, I was surprised to see your answer. [Smile]

[ October 20, 2004, 12:32 PM: Message edited by: Anna ]

Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MEC
Member
Member # 2968

 - posted      Profile for MEC   Email MEC         Edit/Delete Post 
T_Smith page 5: granted, welcome to the nuclear bomb in a safe squad.

Annie page 6: granted, now you're a normal nazi, and no one likes you.

Stan page 6: granted, the world has suddenly exploded.

Noeman page 7: granted, they have now colonized all the unused space in your house.

Turgan page 11: granted, however you missed the pile of free money on the way you would go home if you weren't suddenly transported there.

Anna this page: granted, but the library never lets you take books anymore because they don't know when you'll return them.

I wish that all wishes in this thread would not be ignored.

Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
MEC, granted! Unfortunately, they're all granted by people who don't quite get the thread, and whose replies aren't particularly funny.

I wish that the general level of focused thinking, enthusiasm and well being that I'm experiencing right now were my normal state and not the result of drinking an assload of coffee.

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MEC
Member
Member # 2968

 - posted      Profile for MEC   Email MEC         Edit/Delete Post 
granted, because you forget to breathe (how's that for funny)

I wish wishes were no longer answered with the wisher forgetting to breathe.

[ October 20, 2004, 03:59 PM: Message edited by: MEC ]

Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Noemon
Member
Member # 1115

 - posted      Profile for Noemon   Email Noemon         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted...because YOU DON'T REMEMBER TO BREATHE!

I wish I would remember to breathe.

Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted. Unfortunately you forgot that you were in space holding your breath for a reason.

I wish that I had warmer socks.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Defenestraitor
Member
Member # 6907

 - posted      Profile for Defenestraitor   Email Defenestraitor         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted! You're burned alive.

I wish for this wish to be wished undone by the next person's wish

Posts: 236 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

 - posted      Profile for Bob_Scopatz   Email Bob_Scopatz         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, the next person will take care of undoing it.

I wish that the previous person's wish was granted.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sarcasticmuppet
Member
Member # 5035

 - posted      Profile for sarcasticmuppet   Email sarcasticmuppet         Edit/Delete Post 
Granted, but you get caught up in a weird time-continuum as a result, all coming back to Defenestrator's original wish.

I wish I were cool.

[ October 20, 2004, 09:44 PM: Message edited by: sarcasticmuppet ]

Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 31 pages: 1  2  3  ...  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  ...  29  30  31   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2