You are now an oscar myer weiner, however Vwiggin's kids eat you, causing them to be well-adjusted, but become amish. They are the most well-adjusted and healthy people I've met.
I wish Donny Osmand would stop haunting me... He's creepy!
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Donny Osmond stops haunting you because... you are Donny Osmond! You burst forth into song: "I closed my eyes - pulled back the curtain. To see for certain what I thought I knewww...."
I wish I had more pickles.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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Granted, but they're possessed pickles inhabited by the ghost of Donny Osmond. They burst forth into song: "I closed my eyes - pulled back the curtain. To see for certain what I thought I knewww...."
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Your sense of humor is so powerfully awesome... that you lose all your other senses. Having lost touch with the outside world, your awesome sense of humor has nowhere to go... except to make fun of you and your pathetically sad situation... for the rest of your life.
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GRANTED! Unfortunately, that would have been YOUR day, and as you can see, being bitten by seven rattle snakes at once isn't in any way shap form or fashion considered good.
I wish it wasn't raining. I need to get that ditch dug.
Posts: 529 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Naaah, you already tricked the Genie into granting you exactly what you were after. The genie is busy packing up his booth, at the moment.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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But okay, for old times sake--granted. Lullabye is brilliant. Utterly brilliant. Your failure to appreciate it reflects only on you, not on the glory that is Lullabye (of course, this begs the question "what is Lullabye", but that's a whole different thing).
I wish...for the Genie to return to his booth and resume this thread.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Granted, but it's a small slice and cold and all of the toppings have slipped off of it and the guy who hands it to you has a cold and just sneezed.
I wish I wasn't dead.
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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Granted. You are now a living brain, floating in a nutrient rich saline solution in a mad scientist's lab. Barring accidents you'll outlive everyone you've ever known, but you're condemned to a lifetime of being bored (literally) out of your skull.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Wish granted. You will decide to go rollerblading and a wheel will break causing you to run into a freezing cold river. This will likely surprise you wherever you live.
I wish I had found this entertaining little thread sooner.
Posts: 2880 | Registered: Jun 2004
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You don't! Before the audition, you get so rip-roaring drunk that when you stumble out onto the stage you have absolutely no idea where you are. After falling to your knees and vomiting on the shoes of the person before whom you were to audition you pass out. You did all of this with an almost blissful self confidence.
I wish that that MOTO would return to hatrack and tell us how her life has been going in the 4 years or so since she last posted.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Granted, Noemon! MOTO comes back and lets everyone know her life has been splendid... after her vile hatred of you forced her to leave the forum 4 years ago.
I wish I knew who MOTO was.
Posts: 236 | Registered: Sep 2004
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You find yourself sleeping deeply eight hours a day. However, this eight hour period comes at inconvenient times, and most people are offended if you fall asleep while they're talking to you.
I wish there were less hoity-toity subdivisions and more neighborhoods like the nice little town I grew up in.
Posts: 550 | Registered: Jan 2004
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There are now more nice little neighborhoods where people all use words like "hoity-toity". Unfortunately, they are referred to as senior citizens' homes and you are too young to be admitted.
I wish I had pizza. GOOD pizza.
Posts: 165 | Registered: Apr 2004
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You have truly excellent pizza. Unfortunately, it's your last day on a Roman holiday and you may never be able to afford to go back for another Quattro Frommagio from that little bistro tucked away near the Fora Romani. It sours you on regular pizza for ever.
I wish I had a really good data-aware graphics package.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Granted, sire! Unfortunately, the universe is now in irreconcilable paradox. *POOF*
I would wish that people would use the subjunctive properly, but Annie already did that a page back . . . so, I wish I had read this thread soon enough that I could have wished that everyone use the subjunctive properly.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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You are transported 1,000 years into the future where Malibu is a chep location. you own all the beach front homes but the ocean no longer exists. Instead it's a landfill...
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Scott: Granted! The sock, cheese and broccoli casserole is coming out of the oven as we speak.
AbeLincoln: (hmm...I'm not sure I can make a joke of this.) Granted. Unfortunately, this causes a rift in the space/time continuum and the director of the next Superman movie is declared to be Vincent Gallo.
I wish I could figure out the least ornerous place to stay for Christmas.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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