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You have money added to your checking accout but every food place in town doesn't accept checks or cards and every ATM is broken. The bank is closed.
I wish I knew what jesus would do for a klondike bar.
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Kat, you remembered to bring cash for breakfast after all. Unfortunately, the cash that you brought was the Lao kip. Given that the exchange rate is 10,835 kip to the US dollar, and given that you brought only single kip coins, you understandably develop back problems on your way to your local eatery. Once you get there, the guy running the register just looks at you funny, since he's never even heard of the kip, and is certainly not prepared to accept it as legal tender for debts either public or private.
Abe, you've discovered what Jesus would do for a Klondike bar. Apparently, what he's willing to do is return to Earth, ushering in a 1000 year reign of peace. Well, for those that survive the tribulations, anyway. You, unfortunately, are not among that august number, and just asking the question of what Jesus would do for a Klondike bar was apparently enough to rile him up and send you stright to hell upon your death.
Turgan, you aren't your clone. This is really very unfortunate for you, since your clone has achieved everything in life that you've ever dreamed of doing, while you, at 40, are still living in your parents' basement and working at the same dead end fast food job that you were in high school. On the plus side, you get all the free fries you want. Your clone can't make that claim!
I wish that I had a personal chef who would perpare me whatever foods I requested at a moment's notice.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Granted, Noemon. But you will also find yourself unable to break your habit of shouting out "Good gravy!" and "Crap on a stick!" whenever you're surprised, happy, angry, etc... This diet will grow tiresome.
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GRANTED! Unfortunately, the reason everyone needed it is because no one had it. And the reason no one had it is because the powers that be (God) didn't want them to have it. You have now angered God... if you'll just give me a couple of seconds to run as far away as I can from you, he'll begin his smiting.
I wish I had some pepsi right now.
Posts: 529 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Will he make Bob forget to breathe, Turgan?
Before you sits a chilled two litre of Pepsi, along with a glass. When you fill the glass, however, you discover that the Pepsi is completely flat.
I wish that my natural inclination were to finish projects ahead of schedule, instead of procrastinating and then having to rush to complete them at the last minute.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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GRANTED! You finish projects two weeks in advance, from now on. And everything is going great until your boss comes to you one day and asks for you to work on a certain file that he's been wanting you to work on for two weeks but never ask. You bring it out and say "DONE!" and he comes to the conclusion that you've been spying in on his office and he doesn't like that. I hope you like unemployment.
I wish I was still in Highschool.
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Your class tonight is cancelled, due to the massive earthquake that leveled the building in which it was to be held, along with the rest of your campus. Furthermore, the infrastructure of the country was so completely devastated by the earth quake that it will likely be years before life settles down enough for you to even think about returning to school.
I wish that I had a fresh piece of gum.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Granted! You are believed, and the people become so sorrowful at their loss of data they break down in front of you and you must pat them on the head and feed them chocolate all day.
I wish I'd remembered to take the old nail polish off my nails this morning.
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I wish people would be polite to each other. Especially in the library. Didn't people ever learn that they're not supposed to talk loudly in a library?
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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People are now silent in libraries. Now a new phenomonon is sweeping the nation! The library overflows with TALKING BOOKS... "they read, so you don't have to".
I wish I knew what career I wanted to pursue.
Posts: 165 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Your writers block vanishes. Unfortunately, it is replaced with an almost manic logorrhea. You write reams of material, but your teacher can make neither heads nor tails of it, and reluctantly flunks you.
I wish that the bruised spot on the ball of my foot would heal.
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It does...but a la an OSC story (for which I can't remember the title...argh..."Malpractice," maybe?), it's SOMEONE ELSE'S skin that heals over it!
I wish I didn't have to take a French exam tonight.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Granted, but your lack of proficiency in French turns into a lifelong sore point and any time you hear any speak in that language, a little piece of your self esteem is chipped away. Finally, you go around pretending to speak French but instead become completelly affected and just mutter "moi?" constantly. Quel triste.
I wish I could do stand up comedy.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Granted! You're so good you go on tour. You perform alongside Carrot Top and Paulie Shore five nights a week for the rest of your life.
I wish "7th heaven" was cancelled and it's existence was permanently removed from the collective memory of the universe.
Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Granted. You're given emotion-supressing drugs through the office water cooler. You find yourself much less annoyed at work, or anything else for that matter. Your young children learn from you to be emotionless automatons, and show up on a few Stargate episodes.
I wish I had all the MST3K DVD collections.
Posts: 4089 | Registered: Apr 2003
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You do. However, DVD has now been superseded entirely by a format that is completely incompatible with it, your DVD player is broken, and you don't have a computer that can play DVDs. So, all you can do is sit and look at the pretty boxes and read the summaries on the back of the boxes.
I wish I had the day entirely free.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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From the bunk of your cell, you gaze out the window at the tiny strip of sky that is all you can see of the outside, and all you will see of it for the next 20 years. The only thing on your calendar is eating the moldy bread and pond water that will be delivered to your cell at around noon by a gaoler who may or may not be mute. Your day is completely free.
I wish I wasn't having such a hard time staying awake.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Granted! But now you're a workaholic and ditch all your friends to do certain projects... in the end, you die lonely a miserable all because you did everything right then and there.
I wish i didn't have to put my marriage off until 2006.
Posts: 529 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Granted. Humanity discovers we are too many on this planet to all live in peace, and therefore decides to kill one on ten persons. You are in the ones to be killed, as all your family. I wish my students to get rid of their @{#~ mobile phones. EDIT for grammar reasons
[ October 13, 2004, 02:13 PM: Message edited by: Anna ]
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