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oh, kq, I wish you wouldn't wish such a wish, because I can think of the worst possible reason for it to go away.
Instead, because I'm a weinie: Granted! As the morning sickness comes from hormonal changes, those symptoms must be suffered somewhere (part of the Law of Conservation of Hormones and Consequences) so this Genie does what she can by transfering the sickness to the nearest non-pregnant person. As a result, Emma bursts into tears for no reason and begins raging around the house, tearing apart the Air Conditioner and purposefully NOT putting it back together properly.
I wish the sql query I need to write was all written and I could stop worrying about it.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Congratulations, you finish your grading this week by taking the work home with you. You work tirelessly and get no sleep at home, but at least you didn't have to stay late at work.
I wish I could get my story done for Scott Card and get an A on it.
Posts: 250 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Granted. But you stayed up all night hopped up on caffine to finish it so you overslept for class and didn't make it there at all so you failed. (gotta love the run-on sentence)
I wish I could talk to animals.
Posts: 870 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Your wish has been granted! You are now working in the bowels of the Post Office, and the other person you are working with isn't so much annoying as unnerving.
posted
(So I've gone from working in a school office with a frequently exasperating co-worker, to the bowels of the PO to the top of Everest. Huh. Am I getting frequent flyer miles?)
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Granted. However, you are no longer fluent in any non-geek language, so are able only to converse with the geeky set. (Fluent in Klingon is a side effect of fluent in Matlab).
I wish I had answered Miro's wish earlier.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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You do, but destroy part of the space-time continuum in the process. Now you're your own Tante; Serenity was made by George Lucas instead of Joss Whedon (with Harrison Ford as Mal, and Jar Jar Binks as Kaylee; there are hints of an incestuous relationship between River and Simon); Tom DeLay is an unassailable paragon of virtue; the Great Red Spot of Jupiter dissolves and astronomers have to look for large rings to tell it and Saturn apart; Jon Stewart is President of the United States; Einstein caused Hitler to disappear before World War II, thus causing a massive Soviet rise to power; Ronald Reagan was successfully assassinated, thus causing a paradox in 1991 with the collapse of the Soviet Union; a butterfly sometime during the Jurassic period is killed, with no apparent ill effects; Hurricane Katrina struck Asia instead of the U.S. and the energy stored in the faults somehow cancelled out the energy in the hurricane, thus dissipating the hurricane and preventing earthquakes in the region for years to come.
Hey, that last bit would be pretty good!
I wish that I could keep a normal sleep schedule.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Granted. The change was effective a month ago, and nobody bothered to tell you about it. You've been fired from your job and/or kicked out of school for missing so many nights.
I wish sweaters weren't so itchy.
Posts: 2715 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Granted. Now nothing is itchy. Not your sweaters, not that terrible rash that is eating away at the layers of your skin. In fact, you've lost most of the nerve sensation in your skin. Burns at the kitchen stove top go unnoticed. You forget to blink because the nerves don't tell you your eyes are uncomfortably dry. Over time, the cumulative injuries and lack of care to your eyes renders you a blind, crippled wretch.
I wish I had a nice big bowl of ice cream.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Granted. You have the darkest chocolate ever. The chocolate depresses you with its brooding, melancholy poetry and cynically bleak worldview. Nobody wants to spend time with you because the dark chocolate talks about famine and nuclear winter and serial killers all the time. Eventually you and the chocolate enter a suicide pact, but you get the order of it wrong, hanging yourself before eating the dark chocolate. Unable to fulfill its end of the suicide pact without you to devour it, the chocolate becomes darker than ever.
I wish I wasn't a blind, cripped wretch!
Posts: 2715 | Registered: Apr 2005
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But if you were an Oscar Meyer Weiner, everyone would be in love with you. And let's face it, it's hard to get to work when seven billion people are clinging to and hitting on you.
I wish I didn't have a cold.
Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2004
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Granted. However, you wake up about five minutes before your alarm clock was set to go off.
I wish I had a snow globe that had a little snow plow inside that would plow away all the snow when I wound it up.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Granted. Unfortunately, all that snow has to go somewhere and you wake up in the morning completely plowed in to your bed. And the electric blanket is still in the closet.
I wish people would stop disagreeing with me.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Your wish is my command. People no longer disagree with you. Coffee, however, totally disagrees with your stomach, and causes you all types of gastric and colic distress.
I wish the pi button on my calculator would really and truly calculate the real value of pi, and not just some wussy, rounded off estimation.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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It does. But it takes it so much time it won't work again until 2015. If its battery holds on until that date. I wish my workday is over and I can go to the cinema.
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote: I wish the pi button on my calculator would really and truly calculate the real value of pi, and not just some wussy, rounded off estimation.
Aside: Did you know that in July, a Board of Education in Australia ruled that physics calculations using acceleration due to gravity (9.8 m/s^2) is too difficult for students during standardized tests and they are now to use the rounded off figure 10? When some wacko math 'purists' pointed out that using this method for calculations would cause rockets to carreen out of control and bungee jumpers to crash into the ground, the Board responded with "Well, students won't be penalized for using the actual figure."
How nice of them? A little amnesty for the sinners who provide correct answers.
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Congratulations rivka, you're now able to fall asleep when you want, for as long as you want, and awake rested. I'm afraid that there is a little bit of paperwork involved, however. There is a 30 page form that you have to fill out in triplicate and file at least one week before each period during which you would like to sleep. The forms are constantly being updated by the central office, and outdated forms are not acceptable, so be sure you have the latest version of the form before you submit, and hope that an update doesn't become available before the sleep request has been approved.
I wish that I were fluent in all forms of spoken and written human communication.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Granted. Tomorrow the aliens will be arriving to wipe out the human race--except for you. And your vocal cords aren't equipped to speak their language.
I wish I had a piano.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Something blots out the sun, and you look upward just in time to see your new grand piano as it hurtles toward you. Before you can even react it has landed, pulverizing you.
I wish that my workplace would decide to start having me telecommute rather than having me actually go into the office.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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