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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Begging the Question (a game) (Page 139)

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Author Topic: Begging the Question (a game)
Hamson
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How do the mer-people not get hypothermia from spending so much time in cold water?

Sanitation folks.
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Tante Shvester
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Do you know a way to get rid of the vermin in my living room?

Ta Ta and Cheerios!
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BunnV
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So what's for dinner?

Simple. Break the door down then take everything.
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Tante Shvester
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How should I choose among Curtain Number One, Curtain Number Two, Curtain Number Three, or the Door Where Carol Merrill is standing?

This 18th to 19th Century Romantic Poet may best be known for his "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud".

(TV game shows -- gotta love 'em)
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BunnV
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Hey, can you tell me a little about your roommate and why you think he's always daydreaming?

Staring directly into the sun for an hour will do that to most of us.
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Hamson
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What happened to your pupils?

I've had it in jumbo size.
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BunnV
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Doesn't having given birth to a baby seem unbelievably painful?

I think a screwdriver will make that job easier.
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digging_holes
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Mommy, can I poke my brother in the eye with a spoon?

Muskrats, definitely.
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Jonathan Howard
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Please shuffle the letters of "ydlmukstar tenifies" to make sense.

That's why he was called sir Don Bradman.
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Hamson
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Is it offensive if I call the male cricket players M'am?

On the eastern side of Ethiopia.
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digging_holes
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Where's the nearest grocery store?

Plain as the nose on my face.
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BunnV
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What do you think about Ben Stein's personality?

Fluffy stuffed animals.
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digging_holes
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What reaches into your soul and wrenches your heart, moving you uncontrollably to a passionate shedding of tears?

Just don't disturb the head lice.
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BunnV
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Are you sure you want me to use the chainsaw to do this?

The ringing won't stop.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Have you tried a water softner?

Funny, this doesn't taste like lime.
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Dan_raven
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So what were the botonists last words after he bit into the poisonous green mojo fruit?

MMMMmmmm fruityliscous.
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BunnV
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::Gasp:: Where's my antfarm???

Weird, I thought I had pointed it west.
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Narnia
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Dude, did you know you just blew up Boston?


Well, it's plain that he's not a mind reader.
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Dan_raven
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Pick a number between 1 and 10. Is it 29?

Its always 29
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Megan
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How many jelly beans do you think you'll get up your nose today?

That's because I think they should be pink.
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BannaOj
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Why do you always call them "pink elephants" when they are grey?

It is a square peg.
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BunnV
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Why is this basketball not bouncing very high?

The culprit is soup!
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kojabu
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If it wasn't the butler, then who did it?


Because they're just special.
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Tante Shvester
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Why do you call it "Soup du Jour" instead of just "Soup of the Day"?

Out! Out Damned Spot!
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Hamson
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What are you doing with that blowtorch?

This topic is CLOSED.
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Jonathan Howard
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Q: You mongeral little WRETCH! LET ME REPLY!

A:
I honour this to greatest Glenn McGrath,
A man towards whom I shall gaze up high:
For Glenn, my friend, is Cricket’s noble star,
So is Shane Warne whose bouncers reach the sky;
Gillespie and Brett Lee bowl just to tire
The English team, with Gilchrist right behind;
Both Clarke and Martyn bat and don’t expire,
Whilst Ricky Ponting elds with his mind.
When Hayden opens – Langer makes his move,
And Katich rounds-up all to share a part;
So England at this rate does not improve,
And Team Australia plays with all its heart.
Remember that when England cannot play,
Its nemesis – Australia – has its day!
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Tante Shvester
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What is your favorite sports team? (Please state your answer in the form of a sonnet)

I dunno. Frogs, I guess. Either that or darkness.
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Jonathan Howard
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What do the French deserve?

People Cannot Memorise Computer Indusry Acronyms.
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Tante Shvester
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PCM-CIA? Is that a group of politically correct members of the Central Intelligence Agency?

Definitely not Blood or Boils.
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Megan
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Next question on the Cosmo quiz: if you could pick any biblical plague to be afflicted with, which one would it be?

No, I think you'd fail no matter what I did.
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Tante Shvester
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Do you mind if I buddy-jump with you on our skydiving practical exam?

Either locusts or lice.
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Hamson
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So what's that wriggling around in your hair?

Well I thought jello bounced more...
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Tante Shvester
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Why not try that move on a trampoline?

No, no! Not plague! Plaque!
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Megan
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Ew! So, what is it the dentist said you had on your teeth? Locusts? or maybe flies?

I'll be done with it at noon; you can have it then.
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Tante Shvester
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I've got something stuck between my teeth, too; do you happen to have any more of that floss?

I take it black.
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Jonathan Howard
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May I have your wife tomorrow?

There is no answer.
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Tante Shvester
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How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?

Blue Ball and Intercourse.
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BunnV
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Any big plans for this weekend?

This ice makes no sense.
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Megan
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Alright, we've got your chile peppers, your five-alarm chili, and your extra spicy buffalo wings. What's the problem with the buffet?

Your answer must be in the form of a question.
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BunnV
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I'm a banana!

Chewing on shards of metal won't help.
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ludosti
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Have you ever been so angry you could spit nails?

I feel like chicken tonight!
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Tante Shvester
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Why are you cackling?

They're making headlines!
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Dan_raven
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Why do they bang their forehead into the counter edge over and over again?

That is one way to relieve the pain of an ingrown toe nail.
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Tante Shvester
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Just where do you think you are going with that machete, young man?

With a Sharpie, of course.
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firebird
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When one can't use a blunt instrument (cruelty ... you know) with what does one remove in growing toe nails?

The newest phenomenen of sound and blend.
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Tante Shvester
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Have you heard the latest album they're selling at Starbucks?

Not "sorry" -- "sari".
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Jonathan Howard
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I'm sorry you speak like an American.

Because Tuborg Green Label is "Enjoyed Since 1880", but Tuborg Red Label is "Enjoyed Since 1895".
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Tante Shvester
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Why have you been nursing that same beer all evening?

Palpitations, cold sweats, and a buzzing in my ears.
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Hamson
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And all you said you ate was a cheeto?

You better get to 1000 posts before the end of the month or there will be some serious smack-down going on.
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Tante Shvester
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What can they do to me if I don't finish putting up their stupid fence by August?

Tante Shvester, for one.
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