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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Begging the Question (a game) (Page 167)

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Author Topic: Begging the Question (a game)
suminonA
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Have I told you that I have the greatest collection of filled bottles?

You realise the importance of being ME.

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Sterling
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Is it true your part in the choral arrangement of "Doe a Deer" isn't very big?

Top shelf, two hundred and eighteenth from the right.

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suminonA
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So, I hear you have a whole library full of playing cards! An you have only ONE Ace of Spades! Man, you should keep that safe, not to lose it or something... By the way, where do you keep it?

The Ace of Spades.

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SteveRogers
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Q: Is this your card? No? How about this? Not that either? What about this? Seriously? Ok, it isn't this one is it? Or this one? Ok, fine. What was your card?

A: My hair was set on fire during the fateful March of the Witch Hunters.

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sillygoose
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How was your weekend?

That's my scarecrow!

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SteveRogers
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Q: Who is this handsome young man? And he has such taste, I absolutely love the hat and the crows. You must introduce me.

A: It was caused by the twisted transistor.

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Youth ap Orem
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Why is my harddrive filled with Pornography?

You touch it once you become a king, you touch it twice you live forever, you touch it three times you're playing with yourself.

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Bob_Scopatz
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Why's it called a fallous?

I was circumscribed.

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Tante Shvester
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An interesting scar...and you say you got it as a newborn -- what happened?

Never before noon.

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suminonA
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Is it afternoon already?


Use your imagination.

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Uprooted
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Do you think anything bad will happen if I push this red button labeled "Danger"?

Gary Larson's cows are funny.

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Tante Shvester
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Do you think I'm funny?

A surefire cure is an icepack, Advil, Mountain Dew, and a Sudafed. Either that or amputation.

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GaalDornick
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Ow! You scratched me! How am I supposed to get rid of these marks?!
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Dav
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*Scratch!* That's what you get for posting a one-liner that must serve as both question and answer!

I thought I was doing ok until the boss did my annual review.

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dantesparadigm
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So I heard you were working at a strip club, how's that going for you?


Well that's not where I meant t put it.

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SteveRogers
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Q: Why is MY box of Cheez-Its in your hands? And, apparently, now in your mouth?

A: I would like to be the first to congrat... *kicks shin*

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GaalDornick
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Hi, I'm Shin, the guy who was hired for the job you've been trying to get. Are you mad at me?

Whoops. I forgot to put a second line.

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Tante Shvester
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1+1-2? Perhaps you meant 1+1=2?

When I was 17, it was a very good year.

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suminonA
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When did you learn the addition table?


There is nothing wrong.

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Tante Shvester
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Hey! You! Up there on the clock tower! Yeah, you, with the semi-automatic! What the h--- is wrong with you?!!!

When I was 21, it was a very good year.

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suminonA
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When did you forget the addition table?


By the way, my real name is NOT.

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Uprooted
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So, Nat, whaddya think, should we go do something Nat, huh Nat?

I should think not.

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Sterling
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What were Rene Descartes' last words?

Excruciating pain, followed by death.

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Brinestone
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How are you feeling?

Well, not quite that bad.

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suminonA
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Is it true that my last post was so awful that you felt excruciating pain, and then actually wanted it to be followed by death?


I think I think, therefore I think I am.

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SteveRogers
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Q: What do you think that one guy would have sounded like if he wasn't so sure about his ideas?

A: Nobody's real. Especially that Smurf over there doing the Macarena.

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Youth ap Orem
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What did Morpheous tell Neo when he was watching cartoons on tv in the matrix?

I can see your undies cause I have X-ray vision.

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SteveRogers
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Q: What are you whispering? And why are you staring at that manakin?

A: Don't do it. Don't you dare do it. If you do, I'll make fun of your STUPID, UGLY THUMBS! Don't do it! THUMBS! *waves thumbs frantically*

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Bob_Scopatz
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Would it be okay if I gave this thread two thumbs up?

I think you really nailed that one.

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Steev
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What do you think of my 10 penny impression I left in the wood?

My thumbs are no uglier than your big toes.

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Dr Strangelove
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What are those horrific appendages sticking out of your hands?

Thats my cell phone.

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Steev
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Is that a vibrator in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I think that was a bit obvious.

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Zarex
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So you're saying that if I don't get it, it must be intuitively obvious?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

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Steev
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What is your favorite song?

If you could see it then you'd understand.

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GaalDornick
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Is it really that small?

I meant your house.

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Tante Shvester
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That was so generous -- and brave! -- of you to offer to hold the closing night party -- what with all the public drunkenness and loud revelry, vandalism and unspeakable acts and all that went on last year. So...what time should we be at your house?

Oops...

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dh
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Are you sure that's what you meant when you said the Christmas tree would just "light up"?

The firefighters are late.

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Tante Shvester
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I thought the Fireman's Ball would be a more happening party -- what's the deal?

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

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dantesparadigm
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May I attach a rider to that ammendment to appropriate 2.7 billion dollars to improve the mass transit sytem in Boston.

That didn't work very well.

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Sterling
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We aren't putting real candles on the Pyromaniacs Annonymous Christmas tree this year?

That is one big orangatan.

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Dr Strangelove
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What you say 'bout my mama?

Our family's passion is cheese.

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Youth ap Orem
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Why are you staring at my breasts like you want to milk them?

That might have been too vague.

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Tante Shvester
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So, you know, maybe later you and I could, you know, um...?

When I'm good and ready, that's when!

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GaalDornick
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When are you going to stop sucking your thumb?

Blah blah blah blah.

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Tante Shvester
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Psst! Peppermint Patty! What did the English teacher just say?

It is more like Off-Key Lime Pie.

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Dr Strangelove
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Are you walls seriously colored puke green?

Its your pen.

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Tante Shvester
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This room is an absolute sty! What do you have to say for yourself?

Well, for Independence Day, I'm making Francis Scott Key Lime Pie.

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Dr Strangelove
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Do you have some sort of an obsession with Key Lime Pie?

I prefer blueberry cobbler myself.

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Youth ap Orem
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Which would you prefer, blueberry cobbler or DEATH!

You can't ask me that without showing me yours first.

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Tante Shvester
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Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the Pieman "Show me now your ware?"

The key is the lime juice.

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