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Topic: Begging the Question (a game)

Emperor Palpatine
Member
Member # 3544

posted

Dude...why is your hand in my pocket?

it had to be the chihuahuas...

Posts: 1004 | Registered: May 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Who left this crap all over the carpet?

I think you know the answer to that.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Only a fool would presume to know the meaning of life, the univers, and everything.

You let the dogs out.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

(Resists the urge.) Why are you fingering that knife and looking at me angrily, Cruella DeVille?

100 mph.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

If one more Mutant Hamster gets pregnant, do you know what we'll have?

Vow one, Let the easy ones go.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Tell me again why you intentionally spoiled our whale hunt by opening Shamu's tank to the open ocean?

They forgot to convert to metric units.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

(Dan, lol)

Why are my European-imported pants always falling down?

It's right behind you.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

unicornwhisperer
Member
Member # 294

posted

"Where did my hair go?" -unicorn's husband

A cup of tea will do nicely.

Posts: 1417 | Registered: Aug 1999 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

After last night I bet you'd like something to revive your strength, right?

Nuke the whales!

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

What should we do after we're done draining all the oil out of Alaska, Mr. Bush?

In my sock drawer, next to the revolver.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Have you got any protection?

Sounds like overkill to me.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

Hey, let's drain the ocean and then nuke 'em.

You'll need heavy duty gloves for that.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

raventh1
Member
Member # 3750

posted

Do you think that these will work, to handle this plutonium core?

THX-1138

Posts: 1132 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Say, is that "American" grafitti? What's it say?

It's all Greek to me.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

Do you know the difference between Chinese and Japanese architechture?

I would, but I'm depressed.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

"Hey big boy", said the female tongue to the male tongue, "want to get to know each other a little better?"

Because it's easier than trying to teach them to whistle.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Why, in God's name, would you teach the children to burp on command?

It's sort of like a bird's beak, only bigger.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

No, I haven't seen Michael Jackson's latest plastic surgery.

No, I ate three pounds of Cheez-it's instead.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Sheesh! How come I keep tripping when I try to jump over this book?

Actually, I think the plural is octopusses.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

What if there's more than one group of eight sissies? What insult can we hurl at them then?

No it isn't.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

The world is round, isn't it?

I'd like to help, but I'm busy Saturday. I'm trying to solve Pi.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Saturday is the day I clean out my septic tank. I expect you to help unless you have a good excuse.

Everybody's doing the locomotion.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

How come the Segway isn't selling well?

Yeah, thanks, but you've mispelled my name.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

Mr. Bob Psycopath, my name is Smith Smithers and I'm calling to tell you about the all-expenses-paid trip to the Bermuda Triangle being given away this weekend! Would you care to purchase a raffle ticket for only $500?

Greasy, grimy gopher guts.

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

What do you get when a gopher sticks his head out of the ground just behind your golf ball as you're getting ready to swing?

I haven't seen you here before.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

What would you say if a female sheep were to post on this page?

I've been fleeced.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

What do you realize after watch "The Fleecing of America" on the NBC Nightly News?

That was my conclusion too, but then I realized it was wrong, so now you can have it.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

But I thought you said you hadn't gained weight since high school. You don't fit in the size 6 sundress?

Yes, but I think a shovel would be cheaper.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Pamela Anderson is dumber than a shovel.

I dig it man.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

I'm building a secret passage to China, you want to help?

E = mc... ah darn it, I can't remember.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What is the only question on the pan-galactic test for sentience?

A death cast of Leonardo DaVinci.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Welcome to the Rennaisance Pro-Bass Tourney here in Pisa. We take you to our favorite, Mr. Da Vinci, who is about to cast for the first time this morning, and its good. Its great. Why, I'd call it...

Glorified Carnations and corny Gloriolas

[This message has been edited by Dan_raven (edited July 09, 2002).]

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

What'd you give your girlfriend at the prom?

Extra electrons on the 8th and 9th outer quad-rings.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

ludosti
Member
Member # 1772

posted

Why didn't you stop and pick up the dry cleaning on your way home?

The Manhattan Project.

Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dr. Mobius
Member
Member # 3614

posted

Hey, while I was busy defending our country and you were sitting on your lazy @ss, what were you doing?

I hear voices in my head, and they don't like you.

Posts: 338 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Why do you always wear an aluminum foil helmet when we're together?

I collect rice.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

The Reader
Member
Member # 3636

posted

How do you keep making your pet birds explode?

That's just too much information in the yellow pages.

Posts: 684 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

What a detailed description of this escort service.

No, but he keeps throwing his feces at the family portrait.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

So the fundamentalist Christian really doesn't mind being related to monkeys?

80 proof.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

My, my...this Earl Gray is giving me a wonderfully warm feeling. What's your secret?

He was a goalie for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Yo-Yo
Member
Member # 3775

posted

Why in the world would a man choose to live in Canada?

A rubber chicken, two pounds of beef jerkey, and three pairs of handcuffs.

Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

What's a good recipe for Thanksgiving fun?

Square watermelons.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Yo-Yo
Member
Member # 3775

posted

You know what a good Christmas present for Gallagher would be?

Just a little bit...underneath my fingernails.

Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

So, did you ever get anything from your father?

An inflatable keyboard might be nice.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

kaioshin00
Member
Member # 3740

posted

AHH! im afraid of drowning! what can i get to help me?

Fried Green Potatoes

Posts: 2756 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Can you name even one Southern dish that doesn't taste great?

Endercon 4004.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

KarlEd
Member
Member # 571

posted

What's the best reason for the development of an "immortality pill".

"Rubber Baby" (tm) brand buggy bumpers.

Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 1999 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

What did Susie buy with the money she made selling sea shells at the sea shore?

Herculean efforts are required.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

How do you peel yourself away from Hatrack?

Girls Gone Mild

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Emperor Palpatine
Member
Member # 3544

posted

What do Amish teenagers with hormones watch?

Dude, you're gettin' a Dell!

Posts: 1004 | Registered: May 2002 | IP: Logged |

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