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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Begging the Question (a game) (Page 201)

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Author Topic: Begging the Question (a game)
Sterling
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You think anyone will notice that the last five hundred U.S. flags we shipped out had pink stripes rather than red?

Misfortune for some, slapstick for others.

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Tante Shvester
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The landing gear is broken, they're almost out of fuel, and you're lining the runway with banana peels! What's the point of that?

For what it's worth.

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suminonA
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Why would you swallow an un-pinned hand-grenade made out of pure gold, if you knew that it will still explode?

That would be the ultimate sacrifice.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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How would you react if you were told that only you can save humanity, but only by giving up your carefully saved virginity to an octagenarian on the cusp of her last breath?

Just wave a stick at it.

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Sterling
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How do I protect myself from this swarm of stick insects?

Gentlemen, we have our scapegoat.

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Avatar300
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Fellow congressmen, what if we blamed all our mistakes on violent video games?

Now that's entertainment!

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suminonA
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Sir, our competitors plan a huge fireworks show for their live transmission of “The power of Fire” ceremony this year. We have to do better than that. What if we blew up the Earth and broadcast it back from the Moon?

It's not too far away.

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SteveRogers
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Q: Do you think it's possible to go Over the Rainbow?

A: Please, I think it can only get better from here.

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Sterling
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So, having missed over a hundred throws in this carnival game, you're now volunteering to be the guy above the dunk tank?

Now that's something I haven't seen a computer do before.

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Ecthalion
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So you're saying windows works fine?

It hit me like a ton of feathers.

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Dead_Horse
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What's it like to get run over by Big Bird?


Oh, that was just Oscar the grouch.

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SteveRogers
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Q: Wait, go back. What award show was that on TV?

A: It would appear my face is on fire. That's wonderful. This will definitely impress all the kids at school.

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Avatar300
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Are you...glowing?

The road to hell is paved with small intestines.

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Dead_Horse
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So, how do you like your new job at the slaughterhouse?


But it was a very pretty cow.

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Maliam
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Why did you give the cow a perm?


Don't worry, It's only half vegeatable.

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RunningBear
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It's what eatable?

Just an ethiopian delicacy.

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suminonA
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They say you're the most strictly specialized cook in the world! What can you cook, exactly?

The memory is still fresh.

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kaioshin00
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I heard you bought some old SDRAM and plan to cache in on it. What makes you think people will buy it?


Three band-aids later the problem was solved.

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Sterling
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So what *did* you do about that crying toddler?

Congratulations, you've taken all the fun out of it.

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suminonA
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Sorry I'm late; I had to find a new parachute at the last minute. With all the hurry I almost forgot to check! Did you know that someone had replaced mine with an unimaginably huge purple bra?

That should have been obvious.

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Tante Shvester
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Did you know that you misspelled "anonymous" backwards?

Red hot chili peppers.

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Jeesh
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I'm afraid we're out of that, what other flavor ice cream do you want.

That's what the instructions said!

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Tante Shvester
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Lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat...when are you going to give someone else a chance to get in the shower?

Goodness Gracious! Great balls of fire!

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Sterling
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What's that wizard throwing at us that has everyone huddled behind the hill like this?

Your difficulties are entirely your own fault.

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Tante Shvester
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What's the big deal with me stepping over the line when I serve in tennis?

The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in our serves.

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cmc
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But why should I serve, when I can Teach?

And the mountains win again.

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Tante Shvester
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What happens when you Googlefight Mountain and Molehill?

Ooh! That's fancy!

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suminonA
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What would you say if instead of "aunt" we called you "tante"?

Yes, but I'd appreciate it if you kept it a secret.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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So you know how to save humanity from ultimately destroying itself?

I am made of scars.

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Sterling
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Is there anything in your medical history that would contraindicate prescribing an anti-clotting medication?

They actually smell better dead.

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Maliam
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Oh man that stinks. Can you please not kill that troll?

I put it in the apple.

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Tante Shvester
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Where's the other half of this worm?

Well, the typical ratio is seven dwarfs to one prince.

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Sterling
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Am I right in understanding that Prince's contract dictates the size of his entourage in more ways than one?

I would never have thought to use a turkey baster for that.

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jlt
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You use a turkey baster to clean a fish tank?

Yes, it adds a fishy taste to all my Thanksgiving dinners too.

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Tante Shvester
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What's the deal with oyster stuffing? Is it OK to substitute goldfish crackers?

First place in the pinewood derby!

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gsim1337
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You really won something with that big fat hunk of wood on wheels?

I never knew it could turn that color...

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Narnia
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Why are you looking at my bathtub so strangely?


She wouldn't have to touch it.

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Sterling
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Is it fair to say my sister is so accident prone that her just touching your science project is likely to make the whole thing explode?

Apparently they couldn't come up with actual lyrics.

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dh
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What was the point of setting three and a half minutes of wracking coughs to music ?

He's an evil reptilian kitten-eater from another planet who just says anything that comes into his pointy little head.

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Narnia
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What's with your brother?


I'm more interested in the green lumpy one.

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dh
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Wouldn't you just love to adopt that adorable Indonesian child ?

Only if he can do the hokey-pokey.

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Narnia
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Would you do me a favor and take the dog for a walk?


Yeah, take away the guacamole and that would be fine.

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dh
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Do you think I could pass this off as Chinese food ?

Fine, thanks.

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suminonA
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How is your self-decapitation project coming?

That’s why he was a figurehead.

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Tante Shvester
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Didn't you just love that scene where Tom Cruise was cleaning up at blackjack, all because Dustin Hoffman was able to count the cards from, like, seven decks at once?

It's good on a tortilla. Or a piece of matzah. Whatever.

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dh
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Is there an actual reason for selling this stuff other than to make me wonder why they bother selling it?

Yes, but the fish is the wrong colour.

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Sterling
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Don't you like rainbow trout?

Barnum's Law and Sturgeon's Law have come together with devestating consequences.

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anti_maven
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By jove! Which cretins have legislated against caviar in circuses?

The square of the hippopotamus.

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BlackBlade
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What simultaneously has sides of equal length and kills more people then any other wild animal in Africa?

It worked out so well on paper!

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Avatar300
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Why did you build an entire stadium with no bathrooms?

It's an intelligence test!

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