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Topic: Begging the Question (a game)

Polemarch
Member
Member # 3293

posted

There is no way you can be right about anything. No. Not even a little. Uh uh. No way.

Freud would be pleased.

[This message has been edited by Polemarch (edited July 23, 2002).]

Posts: 468 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

A penis shaped cigar?

On the bright side, I repel stray cats.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Okay, so you say that on your dark side, you collect lint. What about the other side?

I need the driver's side door to a '57 BelAir.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

The Reader
Member
Member # 3636

posted

Why did you tell the mechanic your 57' BelAir was stripped?

Because I needed the extra room in the space between the walls.

Posts: 684 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

HonoreDB
Member
Member # 1214

posted

Why is all your furniture glued to the ceiling?

Well yes, Bob, but in a way, they are all CARP songs.

Posts: 535 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Is there some reason you keep posting this everywhere?

LOL

Discount golf.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

DeathofBees
Member
Member # 3862

posted

What is round and explodes when you strike it?

Under my skin.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

Where did you hide your beauty for so long?

Flutes, a banjo, and a washtub bass.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Due to federal aid cutbacks, the philharmonic now consists of....

Phil from the Philly Philharmonic.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What does Puxatawnee Phil do after Groundhog day?

The Borscht Belt.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

What did the German astronomers call the Milky Way?

(somehow, their candy bar never really took off)

It can fit in the palm of my hand.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Tell us about the love of your life.

To be me, or not to be me.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

What are you going to call your essay about highschool?

Around here we call it "borrowing"

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Beren One Hand
Member
Member # 3403

posted

Uh... isn't that type of "accounting" just a fancy way of stealing money from investors?

Sit on it.

Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mister Spim
Member
Member # 3847

posted

Doesn't it hurt when you sleep on that bed? The one made of nails?

I was just snackin on a frisbee.

Posts: 182 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Maethoriell
Member
Member # 3805

posted

What the..??? THere's something beter than that you know or you have the mind of a dog?

Never smile when being kissed and when you see the person that attempted after a few years don't try and show your wild side in front of the wife.

Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

claytonia the absurd
Member
Member # 3865

posted

Hey Ichikara, would you mind translating that into English from Japanese?

It's either the pig or the sheep.

Posts: 140 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mister Spim
Member
Member # 3847

posted

I'm sorry to hear your girlfriend dumped you, what's next?

I'm afraid to say, Jimmy the Insomnia Mushroom said he wouldn't give me the key to the magical kingdom of Alderon if I told anyone.

Posts: 182 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

claytonia the absurd
Member
Member # 3865

posted

Wow, what's your secret to preparing these lovely mushroom pops?

Well, maybe, but only after a good flogging.

Posts: 140 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

So, when we catch him, do you think we should treat Osama humanely?

I've got good teeth.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What's that necklace made of?

He thpeakth with a lithp.

[This message has been edited by Bob_Scopatz (edited July 24, 2002).]

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Mister Spim
Member
Member # 3847

posted

What's Arnold Schwarzenegger like when he's not acting?

Why, September 4th my friend!

Posts: 182 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Doug J
Member
Member # 1323

posted

Do you want your million dollars on Sept 4th this year or never?

That and 50 cents might buy you a cup of coffee.

Posts: 7083 | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

Beren One Hand
Member
Member # 3403

posted

I have sixty dollars, you wanna go to Starbucks?

I go where I want to go.

Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

Why are you peeing in my bowling trophy?

I stuffed her in a cardboard box.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Maethoriell
Member
Member # 3805

posted

I wonder what the contortionist did?
(I was wondering when you'd realize what I said)lol..(I changed it only because it wouldn't be the same if I juts did that...oh nvm)

Harder Better Faster Stronger.

[This message has been edited by Maethoriell (edited July 24, 2002).]

Posts: 4628 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mister Spim
Member
Member # 3847

posted

<drill sergant voice>What am I compared to you?</voice>

Oh, I wouldn't know, I just got back from Maui.

Posts: 182 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

Tell me Mr. Dan Quayle, what did you think of Hawaii?

Aloha Hoi.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

We interupt this regularly scheduled post to ask Maet to please go edit his post about the raper (sic).

That's really not something to joke about.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

Yes....it's rapIST. Please edit.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

<---just realized that he was the implied rapist.

Maybe you should edit the whole question...

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

You say you learned Hawaiian AND Yiddish?

I'm Henry VIII, I am.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

So, you murdered 3 of your wives, divorced 2 and exiled the rest, who do you think you are?

You feel up my senses, Like a knife in the forest.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

claytonia the absurd
Member
Member # 3865

posted

Hey everybody, thanks for coming to the first meeting of the John-Denver-loving-future-serial-killers-of-America Club. Who wants to start us off with an original lyric?

When I say she was toasted, I mean she was toasted with a capital 'T'.

Posts: 140 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

Hey, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Where're you going with that huge butterknife?

Yeah, those were the days...

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

Amorphous
Member
Member # 3838

posted

Remember that time I bought a gigantic rubber chicken and then I beat you with it and forced you to listen to christian rock?

I just feel like I don't know you anymore, you gigantic carrot colored fetus.

Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mister Spim
Member
Member # 3847

posted

You're breaking up with me? Is it because I speak in backwards sanskrit in my sleep?

Cream Cheese and Toast!

Posts: 182 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

claytonia the absurd
Member
Member # 3865

posted

All we've got left in the kitchen is cream cheese and crap, or cream cheese and toast. What'll you have?

I'm sure she said it, but I don't believe she knows what she's talking about.

Posts: 140 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

So, she finally said she loves you?

Puritans, Quakers, and Atheists.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Fael
Member
Member # 3015

posted

What was the name of that new ethnic law firm?

Compassion and obsession

Posts: 765 | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

What are the two types of conservatives working for our president?

That is a real Houdini Who Done it.

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

What do you think about my new novel, "A Murder at a Magicians Conference"?

Pork fried rice and a 40oz Mad Dog 20/20.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Bob_Scopatz
Member
Member # 1227

posted

What was the original "Breakfast of Champions?"

Dune Buggies.

Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000 | IP: Logged |

Frisco
Member
Member # 3765

posted

No, I haven't finished Exodus. How does Joshua's family escape Egypt?

It's deeper than a spoon, but not by much.

Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Yo-Yo
Member
Member # 3775

posted

Oh, Frisco...tell me again about your love for me...

I think I said "aphids".

Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

Dan_raven
Member
Member # 3383

posted

"Its not a lie. I never tell you any fibs." said John.
Mary responded, "No, I said....

(Double posted. Darn)

A horse, a horse of course.

[This message has been edited by Dan_raven (edited July 25, 2002).]

Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002 | IP: Logged |

T_Smith
Member
Member # 3734

posted

Hey wilbur, what does your wife look like again?

Hey wait a minute, thats MY hotel on Park Place.

Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

The Reader
Member
Member # 3636

posted

This hotel looks so familiar. Are you sure we left Atlantic City, or are we going in circles?

Putting the keg in the tuba and drinking from it like a funnel looked good at the time.

Posts: 684 | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged |

Mister Spim
Member
Member # 3847

posted

A Proctologist: So tell me, how did you get the poodle stuck in there?

I stack up, baby!

Posts: 182 | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged |

jehovoid
Member
Member # 2014

posted

What's Ralphie's second favorite phrase?

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Posts: 3056 | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

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