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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Begging the Question (a game) (Page 205)

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Author Topic: Begging the Question (a game)
rivka
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What on earth do you have against the Cup Half-Full Brigade?



I'm not a pessimist; I'm a realist.

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Tante Shvester
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Why did you name your first child "Disappointment"?

That's not what the internet is for.

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Qaz
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Notpron!

Everything you put your hands to.

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Sterling
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What were you just saying I destrgsdfjgy49^Agfvbs?

Seems as good a time as any to bow out.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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You sure you won't wait 'til the obese woman starts her caterwauling?

There's nothing like job security.

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otterk10
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Will I get in trouble if I sexually harass my female co-workers?

That's pretty complicated.

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brojack17
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Shouldn't you slow the ambulance down while going through a crosswalk?

Red

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Sterling
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Do you have any aliases or nicknames, Mr. G. Biv?

I'm still waiting.

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Tante Shvester
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They say, "with age comes wisdom." At 105 years old, do you feel as though you have accumulated great wisdom?

My leftmost toe.

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Hamson
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Where did you put that last Bugle I gave you?

He was supposed to be wearing the blindfold.

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Dead_Horse
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How did you expect me to bring your father to his surprise party if I couldn't see?


That's why I let him drive.

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Tante Shvester
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Do you mind that I just got you a club sandwich and I got your brother golf clubs?

You put it in the blender.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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"Hmm... How to make this steak more tender?"

I need a different liquor.

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Sterling
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Why won't you use my distilled Thunderbird in your exquisite French dessert recipie?

I'm waiting for the reviews to come in.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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How come you're still not convinced that your play is an absolute failure after the entire audience left during the opening monologue?

Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand.

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Sterling
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Why is Cheney walking next to Bush like that?

(I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)

It's not usually considered a deadly sin.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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Why do you think the Almighty won't frown upon your attempts to bury your parents beneath a pile of medals, ribbons and other awards?

The band is back together.

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Tante Shvester
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They're making a Part IV to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy?

That's why they invented tic tac toe.

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DeathofBees
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Ugh, have you ever been in a more boring math class?

A sticky, tacky toe

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Dead_Horse
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What was that in the glass case at your podiatrist's?


There's a rat in my hat.

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Tante Shvester
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Orincoro, did you ever figure out why your hat doesn't fit any more?

It's pretty, cut, and dyed.

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rivka
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What do you think of Tom Lehrer's I Hold Your Hand in Mine?



We dance to the Masochism Tango.

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Tante Shvester
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What do you mean that you got the first inkling that your marriage was in trouble at your wedding reception dance?

Be prepared.

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Dead_Horse
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Are you an eagle scout?


Let me help you across the street.

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Tante Shvester
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Have you seen my chicken?

A newspaper.

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Judas
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What's black and white and called a newspaper?


I want your hot sauce in my taco.

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Dead_Horse
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What does YOUR hot sauce packet say?


It was way too stretchy for my taste.

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Sterling
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Why didn't you join us at the taffy pull?

Powder blue.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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What colour would you say these ground eyeballs are?

It took me a fortnight.

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Tante Shvester
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Wow! Did you build that fort overnight?

A battery tester.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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Do you recall that new euphemistic, PC term they came up with to take the place of 'cannon fodder'?

Right turn, Clyde.

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Sterling
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Excuse me, I'm new to this whole Pac-Man hunting thing; where am I supposed to be going?

Pin it to the bulletin board with the others.

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Dead_Horse
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What should I do with this donkey tail I found in the hundred-acre wood?


Funny, I'm sure it was striped yesterday.

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Sterling
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Would you care to explain why the zebra you sold me yesterday turned out to be a white horse after a good washdown?

Amazingly enough, that's accounted for in the budget.

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ketchupqueen
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You didn't have to pay out-of-pocket for the pistachio-decorated g-string rack, did you?

THAT was decided long ago.

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Tante Shvester
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Chicken? Egg? [Dont Know]

In that case, I'll take two.

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Dan_raven
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Your Choice: A) we shoot you or B) we stab you. Which do you choose?

C please.

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Tante Shvester
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What cup size do you prefer?

I got choked by an arti!

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Sterling
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What happened after you failed to take your cue from the cumber?

It's not doing anyone much good until then.

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Griffin
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Ron: Should I send my mum an owl about the wand?

This town if full of scaramouches.

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Tante Shvester
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What's with all the Have-a-Heart traps?

Love is a real life wire -- ooh, it's a burning sensation.

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Sterling
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Why on earth would you think these symptoms in your genitals were normal?

You're no longer courting disaster; the engagement is now on.

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Brinestone
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Will you marry me?


In two shakes of a lamb's tail.

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Tante Shvester
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When are you ever going to give a rat's a**?

It's magically delicious.

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Sterling
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What kind of nutritional claim can we make about a marshmallow cereal that won't get us taken to court?

Got one free in the mail.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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Being a penniless hobo, how is it possible that you own a major creditcard?

I think I'm hearing voices.

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Sterling
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Why won't you respond to me when I ask you a straight question?

Because I still despise you.

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anti_maven
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Why won't you let me borrow your My Little Pony playset?

The blue wire.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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You see, my dear assistant, after a proces of elimination I am left with...?

The obvious answer would be that they were all wrong.

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Tante Shvester
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A train leaves Chicago at 10 am and heads east at 63 miles per hour. At the same time, a train leaves New York and heads west at 48 miles per hour. Taken as a given that neither train derails, the trains would collide at:
a. 12:45 pm
b. 5:45 pm
c. 8:45 pm
d. 10 pm

That's how many shoelaces a centipede has to untie!

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