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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Begging the Question (a game) (Page 209)

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Author Topic: Begging the Question (a game)
Tante Shvester
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Does salvation really tell the truth within?

I show remarkable restraint.

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suminonA
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Why haven't you passed 10.000 posts yet?

It's just a number.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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42?

It's just an idea.

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Tante Shvester
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How'd you get that lightbulb over your head to shine?

That's what they said to Thomas Jefferson.

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Dead_Horse
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Should we have your head on a platter or a nickel?


A nickel is just too small.

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Sterling
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If I put a nickel on the railroad track, will the train de-rail?

That wasn't in the original.

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anti_maven
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Did you like the song and dance number with the dwarves and Smaug the dragon from the new Hobbit trailer?

I carried it in a bucket.

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Hamson
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How did that baby panda get into my office?

All the rain in the world wouldn't wash that away.

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String
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What can I do about the shame I feel for going to an Ace of Base concert in the 90's?

Then he put grapes on the mouse trap and Thor flushed the toilet.

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Sterling
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So tell me again what happened after your friend gave you the brown acid at Woodstock?

Actually, I was just dreaming I was having a flashback.

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Dead_Horse
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What are grapes, a mouse trap and Thor doing in the bathroom with a baby panda, a nickel and a lightbulb?


Now the Lolrus will be looking for you.

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String
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(this is my fault, so I've got one answer for both.)

oh god, you don't know my future do you?!?

Hey, It's a good read.

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Tante Shvester
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Why do they have a list of ingredients and nutritional information on the back of the bottled water?

Stairmaster, Thighmaster, Ticket Master.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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Which products are depicted on the next page, Master?

They mostly come out at night... mostly.

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suminonA
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Are you sure you have three children?

It's not what I want, it's what I need.

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Tante Shvester
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You want fries with that?

Are-Eee-Ess-Pea-Eee-See-Tea: find out what it means to me.

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anti_maven
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Hmm, Tante, why are you wearing that Aretha Fanklin costume?

It's the length.

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Tante Shvester
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Two inches? That's not your girth, is it?

The Fonz.

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suminonA
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Wow, you really named that part of your body? What's the name?

No name is sometimes better.

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Rake
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Should i call my pet bear Acrementadg or Defendorba?


I think that was a good idea

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Tante Shvester
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What you you think about crowning Tante the Queen of Hatrack?

About as much as an egg white omelette.

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suminonA
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Do you have a healthy sense of humour?

It sounds a lot more serious than it is.

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Tante Shvester
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The bird flew from China?

When I was your age, we didn't have teenagers.

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Sterling
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So were things easier in any way when you were young, Grandpa?

Burning, stinging, sweating profusely, delusions of grandeur...

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Tante Shvester
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What did the guys get for you at your bachelor party?

In a pot, nine days old.

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anti_maven
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So how did you spend your early childhood?

I was born in a crossfire hurricane.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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You look flash, Jack... but why are you jumping?

I live in a cemetery, full of good will and integrity.

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Tante Shvester
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How's your new job working the graveyard shift?

I quit cold turkey.

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DeathofBees
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Mortimer, do you realize just how much you insulted Mrs. Van der Shnoot by your refusal to take one of her tea sandwiches?

I wanna go live in a lighthouse with Lampy and Nora and....siiiiiing!

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suminonA
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[In writing:] Now that you lost your hearing, what are your plans?

Silence, at least.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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Can you name me one advantage of living alone?

Get down now, if you can hear me.

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Dead_Horse
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What's this, a goose that lays golden eggs?


I traded it for some magic beans.

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Tante Shvester
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Did you eat the last of the magic corn pone?

All my furniture is missing.

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DeathofBees
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But how do you know she is a redecorating witch?

Take them to the Food Lion.

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Tante Shvester
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How do we get the people in the impoverished districts off the soup lines?

Just one too many cats.

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suminonA
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What's "hell" for you?

It was raining cats and dogs.

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Tante Shvester
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Can you give me an example of a cliche that makes no sense at all?

You're going to need a bigger box.

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suminonA
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What can I do if I can't think outside the box?

Space is an illusion.

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Eduardo St. Elmo
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Do you know why there never seems to be enough space?

Speak like a child.

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suminonA
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What did your baby daughter learn from your father in law?

You're young as long as you ask questions.

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Tante Shvester
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Does this dress make me look old?

Piteously, on bended knee.

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Marek
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How did you fix the church's door knob?


Flotation devices are self explantory.

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Uprooted
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Why did you stop watching the flight attendant's safety demonstration?

Clearing her throat didn't work.

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LargeTuna
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Why did u give her cpr?

I truly thought she was drowning

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Marek
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Why did you take the teddy bear out of the washing machine?


No. It's a flying car.

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Tante Shvester
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Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a frog? (A frog?)

Microwave on high for 3 minutes.

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Sterling
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What curious accident gave that frog its super powers?

Kids, don't try this at home.

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Tante Shvester
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What's the best name for my Public Service Announcement?

My shoes are number nine.

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Dead_Horse
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How many clothing items did you lose playing strip poker?


Just give it another coat of paint and no one will ever know.

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DeathofBees
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You stole the Emerald City's Horse of a Different Color??

When I was a kid, I really thought that's what they did.

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